My fellow Americans,
I'm still a bit peeved about the "middle class" or "white flight" that has
damaged our country and environment. Not only the flight itself, but the
anti-urban ideology which oppressed our fellow citizens for decades.
Nevertheless, I feel a compelling duty to warn you, and save you from traumatic
arrest!
First, you risk traumatic arrest if you come to Clark Park. Like some upscale
friends of mine discovered, you may also wish to reconsider purchasing a home
in our dangerous ghetto wasteland.
If you've read tons and tons of marketing literature about a "funky vibe" which
encourages you to drink wine in Clark Park, you need to know that it is all a
dangerous trap. There exists a parallel body of surveys and research that
confirms the need for a police state in this dangerous ghetto. Proceed at your
own risk!
Let me share the recent experience of some friends and fans of my revolutionary
poetry, Biff and Buffy.
Biff and Buffy live in an extremely upscale suburban community of the Good.
Biff often explained to me that they feel like prisoners in their multi-million
dollar McMansion, as they sit alone on top of their millions of dollars.
Buffy often confessed to me that one of the best days of their lives was here
in West Philly...
Arriving one day in a heavily armored humvee, Biff and Buffy came for some of
my poetry, but stayed for a free and open Clark Park festival. Buffy explained
that Biff always recognized that the marketing spin for "University City" was
complete bullshit. But as she explains, that day Biff agreed to risk their
lives...
And what a day Biff and Buffy had! After experiencing a non-stop funky vibe,
Buffy says that both of them felt fully alive for the first time in years!
But then yesterday, I came home to a very frightening message from Buffy on my
answering machine...
Biff and Buffy wanted to know if I could connect them with any local award
winning real estate agents. They had decided to cast off their upscale prison,
and purchase a home in University City to live their lives and share their
wealth among the commoners; to become one with the funky vibe.
To my horror, Buffy's message explained that they were attending an early
Halloween party in costumes, as working class people from West Philly!
Afterward, they would wait for me in Clark Park, and they would bring 40 oz
beers in paper bags to share with all of their new friends and future neighbors!
Well, I can skip the details about what happened last night! Ask any of the
indigenous long term residents of the neighborhood, and they can tell you the
truth about the funky vibe corporate spin and the reality faced daily by
locals. Needless to say, Biff and Buffy will not be contacting local award
winning real estate agents to purchase a home, when they are eventually
discharged from the psychiatric trauma center!
Good luck Penn students and suburban people, as you consider the experiences of
Biff and Buffy! Bottoms up.
Glenn, citizen journalist and West Philly revolutionary poet
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