Greetings,
I was delighted to discover an EZPASS sitting in my mailbox. It was
ordered to solve the pull over, find neutral, step down in oily goo,
wrestle gloves off, dig for coin dance that the Great State of New
Jersey dictates its motorcyclists do each and every time they plan to
tear up a major highway.
I tossed the directions (somewhere in the general direction of the
workbench) and mounted it just behind the steering stem on the mini tank
dashboard of my V-max.
Next step - road test.
(For the unenlightened an EZPASS is a small box designed to attach
inside a car windshield that will signal a toll booth you have already
pre paid X $ in tolls, so it flashes the light green automatically on
your approach, and deducts from your prepaid account the amount you
ordinarily have to stop and pay as a toll)
As I approached the Atlantic City Expressway on ramp -toll lane, I saw a
bike with purple=blue trick headlamps approaching from an oncoming
direction. I hung my left and accelerated confidently toward the toll.
Closer, and closer still a RED LIGHT.
Doh!
Dam thing wasn't working!!
As I edged under the toll machine roof, I knew I was flunking the test.
I tore the dam EZPASS thing off the tank dash and desparately held it up
for the camera which was snapping my pic as I rolled thru a RED LIGHT.
I HATE red lights.
They are NEVER good. As at the track, this one has consequences. A photo
is snapped and a bill for 25 bucks plus 25 cents (toll) will be coming
in the mail to your truly.
Doh! Doh! Doh!
dam EZPASS!
At any rate, I pull to the shoulder wondering what the instructions
might 've said about "mounting" this mystical box.
I KNOW works in my Impala SS.
As I pondered going back and trying it again... (this time holding it in
my pocket hoping the sensor s would still read the dam thing)... my
attention was drawn to a rapidly approaching crotch rocket zipping from
the extreme left side of the two lane ramp towards me on the shoulder.
Same dazzling headlights I noticed before.
Pretty bike . . .if there is such a thing. A cool blue color with white
splash graphics rather tastefully applied compared to some of the psycho
graphics packages out there.A Yamaha R6 or R1 I guessed.
At any rate, it was kind 've bearing down at me, slowed just a bit, then
swerved by ; accelerating hard away.
HMMMMMMM...
Could be the youngster wanted to take a better look at my yellow framed,
blue & yelloworange flamed but mystified form, sitting there wearing a
t-shirt and black leather South Jersey SHO - N - GO colors, wondering if
I had broke down
OR
Could be he wanted to break my balls a la a
my bikes faster...
my bikes cooler...
my bike sounds better...
banzai pass he just whipped on my curbside ass.
CLICK - WHIRR - brain calculates the possibilities-
One of the torches passed from Old Man Time to those of us who have
hopped the age 40 hurdle, is an utter obligation to educate those not
quite so far down the road as to certain facts about life and/or
motoring etiquette.
In an instant, the EZPASS was stuffed into any available pocket and The
Max was fired up in the Pursuit Mode. The kid ran into a two car
"rolling roadblock" as mere mortals the on ramp tried to merge with
Philly bound traffic. This allowed me the chance to catch up and
properly "bear down" on him.
Just as I drew close, he saw me in his mirror and elected to merge
early, passing along the left of the two cars, cutting into fast moving
traffic.
One good violation deserves another.
I already had a head of steam so I was able to draft his taillight and
follow the same path to the far left open lane of that highway.
Nerveanna!
The kid was in max accel mode, tucked and romping thru the gears,in what
I expect was his plan to leave me in his dust! Soon as he peaked
(unclear what the MPH was here, a bit busy to look down) he relaxed, and
started to come out of the full tuck. He glanced in his mirror and
actually was seen to shudder when he realized my bike was closing at
warp speed and instantly about to blast past his left side. He recovered
from the shudder and swooped right, yielding more room for my pass.
That was a good thing.
Pass I did, in top gear, MSD shift lamp glowing red (remember what I
said about RED never being good) treating him to the full volume version
of Hindle Super Sport under power.
Satisfied, I rolled off the throttle and moved far right, slowing
wayyyyy down expecting The Kid to do the proper and called for raising
of the bar, super high speed blast by.
I knew it wouldn't matter, my point was already spot welded into his
brain. My job was done.
Instead he kind've creeped up along my left side. (Probably deciding if
the colors were outlaw or not and if there was any chance of me being
armed . . .no outlaw biker wears a full coverage white helmet!) He then
drew even and offered a simultaneous smile and thumbs up.
Yammiebuddies.
Different ends of the spectrum ...but Yammiebuddies none-the-less.
The next exit was upon me and I pinched a quick " O-K " signal before
ditching off and over to do battle with EZPASS again.
Tony Pace
VMOA#247
Williamstown, N.J.
www.tourmaster.cjb.net
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