Wife - Ek baat bolu maarna mat.
Husband - Bolo.
Wife - I am pregnant.
Husband - Yeh to khushi ki baat hai.
Wife - College me ek baar papa ko batai thi to bahut maara tha.
Sardar - Bachpan me maa ki bat suni hoti to aaj ye din na dekhna padta.
Judge - Kya kehti thi maa?
Sardar - Jab bat hi nahi suni to kaise batau kya kehti thi?
Wife - "Suno ji, doctor ne muze 1 mahine aaram k liye kisi Hill station pe
jaane ko kaha hai, hum kaha jayenge?"
Husband - Dusre doctor ke pas.
Santa goes to hotel and orders fried fish.
Waiter - Sir, French or Spanish?
Santa - Jo marji le aa, maine kaunsi baatein karni hai....! > Date: Mon, 9 Feb
2009 08:46:02 -0800> From: [email protected]> Subject: Humour...Too good....>
To: [email protected]> > > > > > They are from a> > book called Disorder in
the American Courts, and are things> > people actually said in court, word for
word, taken down and> > now published by court reporters that had the torment
of> > staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking> > place.> > > >
> > ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you> > that
morning?> > WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"> > ATTORNEY: And why did
that upset you?> > WITNESS: My name is Susan!> > > >
.................................................> > > > > > ATTORNEY: Are you
sexually active?> > WITNESS: No, I just lie there.> > > >
.................................................> > > > > > > > ATTORNEY: Now
doctor, isn't it true that> > when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know
about> > it until the next morning?> > WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar
exam?> > > > .................................................> > > > ATTORNEY:
The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is> > he?> > WITNESS: He's
twenty, much like your IQ.> > > >
.................................................> > > > ATTORNEY: Were you
present when your picture was taken?> > WITNESS: Are you shitting me?> > > >
.................................................> > > > ATTORNEY: So the date
of conception (of the baby) was> > August 8th?> > WITNESS: Yes.> > ATTORNEY:
And what were you doing at that time?> > WITNESS: Getting laid.> > > >
.................................................> > > > ATTORNEY: She had
three children, right?> > WITNESS: Yes.> > ATTORNEY: How many were boys?> >
WITNESS: None.> > ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?> > WITNESS: Your Honor, I
think I need a different attorney.> > Can I get a new> > attorney?> > > >
.................................................> > > > ATTORNEY: How was your
first marriage terminated?> > WITNESS: By death.> > ATTORNEY: And by whose
death was it terminated?> > WITNESS: Take a guess.> > > >
.................................................> > > > ATTORNEY: Can you
describe the individual?> > WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a
beard.> > ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?> > WITNESS: Unless the Circus
was in town I'm going with> > male.> > > >
.................................................> > > > ATTORNEY: Is your
appearance here this morning pursuant to> > a deposition notice which I sent to
your attorney?> > WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.> > > >
.................................................> > > > ATTORNEY: Doctor, how
many of your autopsies have you> > performed on dead people?> > WITNESS: All of
them. The live ones put up too much of a> > fight.> > > >
.................................................> > > > ATTORNEY: ALL your
responses MUST be oral, OK? What school> > did you go to?> > WITNESS: Oral.> >
> > .................................................> > > > ATTORNEY: Do you
recall the time that you examined the> > body?> > WITNESS: The autopsy started
around 8:30 p.m.> > ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?> > WITNESS:
If not, he was by the time I finished.> > > >
.................................................> > > > ATTORNEY: Are you
qualified to give a urine sample?> > WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that
question?> > > > .................................................> > > > And
the best for last:> > > > ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy,
did you> > check for a pulse?> > WITNESS: No.> > ATTORNEY: Did you check for
blood pressure?> > WITNESS: No.> > ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?> >
WITNESS: No.> > ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the> > patient was alive
when you began the autopsy?> > WITNESS: No.> > ATTORNEY: How can you be so
sure, Doctor?> > WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a> >
jar.> > ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been> > alive,
nevertheless?> > WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive> >
and practicing law. > > > > > >
_________________________________________________________________
Windows Live™: Keep your life in sync.
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