You might be a redneck if :
51. You've ever stolen toilet paper.
52. You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
53. People hear your car a long time before they see it.
54. The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.
55. You prefer car keys to Q-tips.
56. You take a fishing pole into Sea World.
57. You think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup.
58. You've ever stood in line to have your picture taken with a freak of
nature.
59. You think the French Riviera is foreign car.
60. You go to a stock car race and don't need a program.
61. You've ever filled your deer tag on the golf course.
62. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
63. MOTEL 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.
64. You own more than three shirts with the sleeves cut off.
65. You've ever spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.
66. Your mother does not remove the Marlboro from her mouth before
telling the State trooper to kiss her butt.
67. Your pocket knife often doubles as a toothpick.
68. You own a denim leisure suit.
69. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
70. Your dog has a litter of puppies on the living room floor and nobody
notices.
71. You've ever been kicked out of the KKK for being a BIGOT.
72. Your family tree does not fork.
73. You see no need to stop at rest stops because you have an empty milk
jug in the car.
74. You have a rag for a gas cap.
75. The dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
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Jimmy D. Moore - Scout Exec. BSA (Ret.), TOWA, TF&G Contributor, GRTU Past VP.
Past Pres. McGregor Rotary. Freelance Outdoor writer, humorist, half-assed Texan
and collector of classic bamboo fly rods and classic golf clubs
Author - "MOON HOLLER MISFITS Fishing & Hunting Club", �
JIMMY D's Fly Fishing Website:
http://home.earthlink.net/~rayado/rayadoflyfishingflypatternstips/index.html
RAYADO CLASSIC GOLF: Classic Golf Clubs for the discerning collector
http://home.earthlink.net/~rayado/
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"Being able to read trout streams is just as valuable to a fly fisherman as the
ability to read a defense is to an NFL Quarterback."
Jimmy D. Moore - � [2004]
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