On Monday, June 27, 2011 11:49:15 Mike Williams wrote:

> On 27/06/2011 16:57, sc wrote:
> > On Monday, June 27, 2011 04:43:23 [email protected] wrote:
> >> Comment #2 on issue 16 by shlomif: [PATCH] Missing comma in
> >> usr_10.txt http://code.google.com/p/vim/issues/detail?id=16
> >> 
> >> It does not read fine to me and other people:
> >> 
> >> <rindolf>  Hi all. http://paste.debian.net/121122/ - "In
> >> chapter 4 several ways to make small changes were
> >> explained." - I think there should be a comma after the
> >> "chapter 4" - am I right?
> > 
> > there could be a comma there, but so what -- there can also
> > not be one, and adding one doesn't add a thing to the
> > clarity of the sentence -- i've been an english speaker all
> > my life (long time) and IMHO it reads fine without a comma
> > 
> > it's starting to sound to me as if someone's got too much
> > time on their hands

> There is nothing quite like a bit of bike-shedding at the end
> of the working day ;-)

> The introductory paragraph does seem a little stilted. 
> Usually this is a sign that a rewrite would help.  Doing just
> the first sentence would give:

>   Chapter 4 explained several ways to make small changes.

> Combining with the second sentence seems a nicer still:

>   Where chapter 4 explained several ways to make small
> changes, this chapter goes into making changes that are
> repeated or can affect a large amount of text.

> And to be honest the last couple of sentences seem a bit stiff
> as well. How about.

>   Blocks of test can be changed with Visual mode, and more
> complicated changes can be done using an external program.

> 2p's worth.

fine -- i'll go there

if it's stilted it's because of the use of the phrase "goes
into" -- if i had a power drunk english teacher who insisted i
re-write it i'd take

In chapter 4 several ways to make small changes were
explained.  This chapter goes into making changes that are
repeated or can affect a large amount of text.  

and change it to read:

In chapter 4 we explained several ways to make small changes.
In this chapter we'll discuss methods of repeating changes and
ways of affecting a large amount of text.

thus changing passive voice to active and eliminating the
"goes into" heresy

happy?

sc

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