autoread should work, but requires you to click in the vim window to wake it up.
If it doesn't, maybe you're editing across systems, so that a discrepancy in 
system times means vim thinks the file hasn't changed; used to happen a bit, 
but I wouldn't expect it these days and not on /tmp.

>Is there a signal I can send to vim?

As BJP says, if your vim is compiled with +clientserver (which is likely) you 
can run (at a shell prompt)

    vim --servername gvim --remote-send ":checkt<cr>"

The servername will be "GVIM" for the first instance of gvim, "GVIM1" for the 
second, and so on; you can run :echo v:servername in the vim that is watching 
your file, or run

    vim --serverlist

HTH, and regards, John Little

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