Hi Warren,

Thanks for reading it and for the nits.  I'll handle those in the next
version.
Any comments on the substance?

Regards,
Alia

On Mon, Jul 10, 2017 at 1:57 PM, Warren Kumari <[email protected]> wrote:

> On Wed, Jul 5, 2017 at 12:30 PM, Alia Atlas <[email protected]> wrote:
> > Here is a draft suggesting how to connect in the various
> > geographically-focused activities into the IETF with light oversight and
> > considering how various IETF policies should apply.
> >
> > I hope that it will spur conversation so we can determine the right way
> > forward.
>
> Hi there,
>
> I have a bunch of nits and similar for this document. As always with
> nits, feel free to incorporate, ignore, spindle , mutilate or fold...
>
>
> 1.  Introduction
>
>    The IETF primarily focuses our activities on plenary meetings,
>    mailing lists, and individual Working Group interim meetings with
>    Internet Drafts, RFCs, and some structured text or code as
>    deliverables.  There has been and continues to be interest in having
>
> [O] There has been and continues to be
> [P] There has been, and continues to be,
> [R] grammar
>
> ...
>
> Some of the motivations and objectives include: 1. increasing
> awareness of the IETF's role in the Internet ecosystem, 2.
> providing...
>
> [P] I suggest format this list as a list to make it more readable (or,
> xml2rfc fail?) . Also, should either start all list items with a
> capital letter, or none of them.
>
>
> These objectives can be summed up as increasing awareness of the
>    IETF, doing outreach to encourage new IETF participation, and
>    increase technical discussions and cross-learning to encourage faster
>    and better technical output.  These are objectives that are in the
>    best interest of the IETF.
>
> [P] I don't now why we have that last sentence in the above paragraph.
> Seems slightly defensive...
>
>    The IETF works well when organization happens from motivated people
>    who self-organize and the IETF can provide support and light
>    oversight.  The IETF has an Education, Mentoring, and Outreach
>
> [O]  The IETF works well when organization happens from motivated
> people who self-organize and the IETF can provide support and light
> oversight.
> [P] The IETF works best when motivated people self-organize, and the
> IETF provides support and light oversight.
> [R] readability
>
>
>
> 2.  Terminology
>
>    Geographically-Focused IETF Activities  An IETF Activity that is
>
> [O]  Geographically-Focused IETF Activities
> [P] Geographically Focused IETF Activities:
> [R] consistency with other sections below, and grammar
>
> ...
>
> The focus is on growing a local group of people participating in the
> IETF and strengthening the professional and social relationships
> between them to encourage
> [O] between them
> [P] amongst them
> [R] grammar
>
>       collaboration.
>
> Remote Awareness Hub  An event where video from one or more IETF
> [O] Remote Awareness Hub
> [P] Remote Awareness Hub:
> [R] consistency
>
> ...
>
>  IETF Awareness Activity  An activity where "what the IETF is and
>
> [O]  IETF Awareness Activity
> [P] IETF Awareness Activity:
> [R] grammar
>
>
> ...
>
>   Remote Participation Hub  An activity that is connected to an IETF
>
> [O]  Remote Participation Hub
> [P] Remote Participation Hub:
> [R] consistency (... and same for rest of list)
>
>
> 3.3.  One-Time Activities
>
>    Some Geographically-Focused IETF Activities may be one-time activity.
>
> [O] may be one-time activity.
> [P] may be one-time activities.
> [R] grammar
>
>  A Geographically-
>    Focused IETF Activity in a particular geography that do not have a
>
> [O] that do not have
> [P] that does not have
> [R] grammar
>
>    Coordinator identified fall under the One-Time Activity Coordinators,
>
> [O] fall under
> [P] falls under
> [R] grammar
>
>    even if that activity has or is repeating.  There may be a period
>    where it isn't clear that specific Coordinators for the activity
>    should be appointed; for instance, it may not be obvious for a year
>    or more that the activity will continue to repeat.
>
>    The One-Time Activity Coordinators MUST appoint a Local Coordinator
>    for any activity that the none of the One-Time Activity Coordinators
>
> [O] that the none
> [P] that none
> [R] grammar
>
>    will be attending and running.
>
> 3.4.  Appointment, Term of Service, and Transitions for Coordinators
>
>    In general, a Coordinator should be familiar with the IETF and
>    preferably be or have been an active participant.  For a new Local
>    Community or a Repeating Activity, it is likely that there are good
>    candidates for Coordinators.  If not, that may be a sign that the
>    health of the activity is in question and more support is needed
>    before appointing Coordinators.
>
>    It is not appropriate to assume that a Coordinator will serve for an
>    indefinite amount of time.  The Directorate should check in with both
>
> [O] both
> [P]
> [R] there should be between 2 and 5 coordinators, so using the plural
> and deleting "both" will cover that.
>
>    the Coordinators and with the associated mailing lists or activities
>    to see how the activity is going and if the Coordinators are
>    interested in continuing to do a good job.  The Directorate - and in
>
> [O]  interested in continuing to do a good job.
> [R] Um. It seems odd to ask if they want to continue doing a "good
> job." -- do we want to delete "good"?
>
>
> 3.5.  Support for Coordinators
>
>    The Directorate SHOULD provide support for Coordinators.  This should
>    include the ability for Coordinators to learn from each others'
>
> [O] each others'
> [P] each other's
> [R] grammar
>
> 4.1.  Keeping Attendance Records (Bluesheets)
>
>    In the IETF, there are three motivations for keeping track of whom
>    attends a session.  First, there are logistics and tracking the
>    health of the associated group; for instance, what size meeting room
>    is physically required?  Second, there is documenting whom is
>
> [O] documenting whom is
> [P] documenting who is
> [R] grammar
>
>    influencing the standards process by participating in the session.
>    Third, there is documenting whom is in the room for legal issues
>
> [O] documenting whom is in the
> [P] documenting who is in the
> [R] grammar
>
>
> 5.  Use of IETF Resources
> ...
>
>   A shared on-line calendar that at least Coordinators can add events
>
> [O]  A shared on-line calendar that at least Coordinators can add events
> [P] A shared online calendar that Coordinators, at a minimum, can add
> events
> [R] readability/grammar
>
>    to is needed.  This will provide a single place to check when and
>    where various activities are happening.  Given that many IETFers
>    travel for business, it also makes it easy for IETFers to discover if
>    there is a local activity happening that is of interest.
>
> 6.  Social Media and Communications
>
>    Most of IETF communications activities are coordinated and
>    accomplished by ISOC staff.  For Social media, industry media and
>    other communication needs the Coordinator should contact
>    [email protected] for an appropriate messaging.  Through ISOC's support,
>
> [O] for an appropriate messaging
> [R] I don't know what this means.
>
>    the activity will be better promoted and aligned with IETF
>    expectations.  There is an ongoing revision of IASA activities that
>
> [O] IASA -- first (actually, only!) use of IASA, please expand.
>
>
>
>
> W
>
>
> >
> > Regards,
> > Alia
> >
> >
> > ---------- Forwarded message ----------
> > From: <[email protected]>
> > Date: Tue, Jul 4, 2017 at 1:35 PM
> > Subject: I-D Action: draft-atlas-geo-focused-activities-00.txt
> > To: [email protected]
> >
> >
> >
> > A New Internet-Draft is available from the on-line Internet-Drafts
> > directories.
> >
> >
> >         Title           : Geographically-Focused IETF Activities
> >         Authors         : Alia Atlas
> >                           Christian O'Flaherty
> >                           Harish Chowdhary
> >         Filename        : draft-atlas-geo-focused-activities-00.txt
> >         Pages           : 14
> >         Date            : 2017-07-04
> >
> > Abstract:
> >    The document defines how Geographically-Focused IETF Activities are
> >    organized and how IETF policies apply.  It is intended for eventual
> >    publication as a BCP but this is currently an initial strawman
> >    proposal based upon the existing variety of experience with the
> >    experimental activities in this space over the past several years.
> >
> >
> > The IETF datatracker status page for this draft is:
> > https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-atlas-geo-focused-activities/
> >
> > There are also htmlized versions available at:
> > https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-atlas-geo-focused-activities-00
> > https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-atlas-geo-
> focused-activities-00
> >
> >
> > Please note that it may take a couple of minutes from the time of
> submission
> > until the htmlized version and diff are available at tools.ietf.org.
> >
> > Internet-Drafts are also available by anonymous FTP at:
> > ftp://ftp.ietf.org/internet-drafts/
> >
> > _______________________________________________
> > I-D-Announce mailing list
> > [email protected]
> > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/i-d-announce
> > Internet-Draft directories: http://www.ietf.org/shadow.html
> > or ftp://ftp.ietf.org/ietf/1shadow-sites.txt
> >
> >
> > _______________________________________________
> > NOTE WELL: This list operates according to
> > http://mipassoc.org/dkim/ietf-list-rules.html.
> > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/vmeet
> >
>
>
>
> --
> I don't think the execution is relevant when it was obviously a bad
> idea in the first place.
> This is like putting rabid weasels in your pants, and later expressing
> regret at having chosen those particular rabid weasels and that pair
> of pants.
>    ---maf
>
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