Re: Filemode 7-9?

[pfa]

This could be the answer to all our problems....................  :-)

Science and Technology News

The Zurich laboratory unveiled the world's fastest chip this
week.  The chip, code named "Timeless", is based on high
temperature superconductors and is capable of transferring data
signals faster than the speed of light.  This makes it possible
for a computer based on this chip to produce answers before
questions are asked.

Using this technology, the Hursley laboratory has been able to
produce a program product before the user requirements were
known.  Industry analysts found the Hursley announcement
humorous, citing that IBM has been writing program products
without user requirements for years.  Products created using the
Hursley method are still expected to miss their ship dates due to
the excessive length of the Fall and Spring planning cycles.

The Communication Products Systems Test organization is using the
same technology to test program products in zero days.  Said a
spokesperson in Raleigh, "It's amazing.  Just preparing to test
the software thoroughly causes it to be tested.  It's like the
system can read your mind."  Oddly enough, planning experts in
System Test are reporting that regardless of the productivity
gains realized by the Timeless chip, the average test duration is
expected to be nine months.

There have been rumors of some odd side-effects of the Timeless
chip.  Some customers have been receiving products before they
order them.  Most customers we interviewed did admit that they
were planning to order the new software when it arrived.  They
said that they liked the speed with which the products arrived,
but they disliked IBM's new policy of billing them before they
ordered anything.  Said an IBM billing expert, "We knew they were
going to think about ordering some software, so we thought we
would think about billing them."

IBM Service has made some exciting advances in hardware and
software maintenance based on these side-effects.  IBM Service
worldwide has begun a free preventative maintenance program in
which the IBM Customer Engineers think about fixing all the
problems of every customer.  Said an IBM Service representative,
"The program is working very well.  Service calls are down 99%.
The only calls we are getting now are to fix hardware and
software that hasn't been invented yet."

If you are thinking of ordering computer systems which uses the
Timeless chip, they can be ordered from IBM by calling
1-800-426-2486.  Of course, if you have been thinking about
ordering one, it is probably on its way to you right now.