Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning
submissions in its yearly contest, which I forgot to enter, once
again.
In revenge for not having been notified well in advance (would
Tour-D-F forget to remind Lance?)... this is my far-mot-juste
revision of same.
1. Coffee (n.), cough-recipient
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over recent change-in-girth
3. Willy-nilly (adj.), in need of Viagra
4. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp like Kaiser Soze
5. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle which runs-you-over
6. Balderdash (n.), a hairline receding faster than Donald Trump's
charisma.
7. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an proctology exam.
8. Rectitude (n.), the suggested treatment following failure of
the above exam.
9. Pokemon (n), the Rastafarian proctologist of 7 & 8
10. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn
by certain men.
11. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, until you
realizing it was your money to begin with.
12. Bozone (n.): The aura surrounding Fall-well and other bigots,
which keeps all light from penetrating.
