We knew it was coming. Yesterday hoards descended grocery stores, making sure we'd make it through the next 24 - 48 hours. I was one of them.
I went to bed last night when barely a grounded snowflake could be seen anywhere in the city. It was above freezing. By 7:30 this morning I woke up to a fast accumulating six inches. It was coming down something fierce. Big gobs of white stuff. Wet & very heavy. Perfect for making snow forts and throwing snowballs with. It was an interesting introduction to my first day of a much anticipated year-end vacation. After a hearty breakfast consisting of oat hulls and wheat chaff (Raisin Bran) I headed to the garage and fired up my trusty Toro snow blower. This was going to be a cinch! I love plowing through thick blankets of white stuff - shooting jets of snow everywhere! Unfortunately, ten minutes into demolition derby my Toro died on me. What is this! It's only 20-plus years old! Actually I don't know how old the damned thing is as I inherited it from my dad. I just filled it with a fresh tank of gas purchased from the station a couple of months ago, so I knew it wasn't bad fuel. It's probably a gummed-up spark plug or maybe a clogged fuel line, neither of which were accessible without doing some serious disassembly, the kind of disassembly that in my heart I knew my own hands would not be able to reassemble. It was time to face the music. My Toro was dead, and was going to stay dead for the remainder of this freaking snow storm. Time to break out the back-breaking shovel. Suddenly all this white stuff doesn't look so much like fun anymore. * * * * * * It's now mid-evening as I send this post off for the Collective's review. I'm happy to report that the neighborhood pitched in, helping each other dig out. Despite my grumpiness it was nice to see community come together in times like this. Despite all this heroic community effort my aching muscles and back have endured three labor intensive shoveling sessions. I also raked 18 inches of the &#% heavy wet stuff off of the northern slope of the house. It was a miracle I didn't induce a mini avalanche and end up buried & suffocated under one of my incessant tugs. The weatherman sez the carnage will cease later tonight. We can then expect very windy conditions and temperatures falling through the roof into the single digits by Friday night. All this heavy wet snow... by tomorrow we're going to be stumbling about like drunken sailors stranded on top of a craggy glacier. I suspect I have one more major session scheduled late this evening when the snow has hopefully ceased for good - before things begin to solidify. What's also on the evening agenda: tackling a ten-foot long berm recently deposited at the base of my driveway, for the second time today, complements of our city's quick and efficient snowplow armada. Sigh... I've already gone through several shirts (from sweating profusely) and two pairs of soggy gloves. Thank god my snow boots have held up through it all. Needless to say, I'm sore from all this exertion. No need to run 2 miles for exercise tonight. Everything is closed down in Madison. It's deceptively quiet outside, except for the distant mutter and scraping of snowplows desperately trying to stay ahead of the game. * * * * * Dear Santa: I've been a very good boy this year. Could you see it in your heart to send me a set of wiki-waterproof cold-fusion powered electric gloves and socks for Christmas? My favorite are the ones sold in the Lands End catalogue... see page 37, the A'OK Lumberjack combo, plaid electric green, but red or blue works for me too. I'd also ask you for a brand new TORO cold fusion powered snow blower, but I probably haven't been that good. BTW, I've been meaning to ask you, what do you think about AGW? Has it affected your supply chains? I'll leave some milk and cookies out for you. Regards, Steven Vincent Johnson www.OrionWorks.com www.zazzle.com/orionworks
