Tacos and wagons

[Robert J. Lawless]

Since I was chomping on tacos before most if not all of you were born (yes, and don't tell me you will be chomping on then long after I'm part of the mucky bottom in the Sound), I want to set some rules here for tacos and wagons.   The following are not my ideas but were given to me on a bus ride with a prisoner in California who shall remain unnamed.  I was the teacher and he was, as you might expect, a bit of a louse. His crime was relatively minor these days (he had decapitated another biker with a chain while on the fly at about seventy miles per hour).   Taco shells must always be soft and slightly greasy.  The shell is, of course, home made and must be of corn. The meat must never be hamburger.  Only  shredded beef will do and it should be beef that is very tough but very flavorful and unsalable normally, that comes from the brisket or neck areas; the head is fine.  This must be slowly simmered for hours in a salsa sauce that is quite hot and includes, of course, cilantro and other traditional spices. The cheese should be a good quality jack cheese. The lettuce and tomato should be fresh and the tomatoes should be from a place where tomatoes taste like they should.  Washington tomatoes are generally no good unless they are cherry or specialty types.  Just being red and wet doesn't make it.   The Taco Truck must be a mom and pop operation (no chain stores are ever allowed), and the operation should look mildly scary but the fresh, wonderful taste of the Mexican South soon puts all these fears to rest.   Beer should be Mexican dark (Dos Equis is good) or an American substitute that has the flavor to hang in there when the goin' get tough.  Remember, it was Richard Milhouse Nixon who said, "When the goin' gets tough, the tough grab a good, dark beer."   Bob, the You Should Try My "Bob's Famous Butterfield Stage Line Chili."