--- Begin Message ---
Please do not quote the entire WBMUTBB Digest
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wbmutbb-digest Thursday, April 20 2000 Volume 02 : Number 124
Topics in this issue:
Darling Music
Ridin' on cars & such
RE: In or Out
Re: Getting Up Into The Bronco
RE: wbmutbb-digest V2 #121
Help Allan!
Part 3 Who want to Be a Mayberry Millionaire!
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Date: Thu, 20 Apr 2000 16:11:59 EDT
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject: Darling Music
<< Who can forget such musical gems as
"Tearin' up Your Old Clothes for Rags," "Keep Your Money in Your Shoe and it
Won't Get Wet," "Dance 'til Your Stockings are Hot and Ravelin' " and "Never
Hit Your Grandma with a Great Big Stick?" >>
Oh Gosh - Oh Gee Paul - ALL of these make me cry.
Linda - the Boohooing Goober
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Date: Thu, 20 Apr 2000 16:26:26 EDT
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject: Ridin' on cars & such
<< Here in Ozark, AL, people don't ride in cars, they ride ON cars! >>
Hey Laura Lee,
Brisco said - "Everybody On the Truck". Of course, he might have been from
Ozark but I think he said it because they did ride ON the truck - standing up
playing music. Can you imagine how hard it is to "fret" a stringed
instrument while ridin' on a truck with questionable (or no) shocks standing
in your brogans. Also, Mitch rides ON the front part of the truck - on the
hood - to hold the lantern when they go somewhere at night . Where would
they go at night you ask. Maybe to serenade Aunt Bee or head out for
Mayberry Days.
Linda - a Goober with a winch truck - you can ride ON it if yant to
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Date: Thu, 20 Apr 2000 17:20:04 EDT
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject: RE: In or Out
Hey Mayberrians,
In reference to Debbie Dubose asking about being "in" a car or "on" a
car.--we in East Texas say "in" a car. I have never heard of anyone being
"on" a car in my life. As for the saying "staying at 4th and Main". I teach
and the black students always say "I stays at my Grandma's" or "I stay at 321
Peach St." I asked them why they say that and they always tell me, "Well,
that's where we DO stay". So I don't really know.
Lots of luck to you and yours,
Nancy from Texas
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Date: Thu, 20 Apr 2000 17:21:05 EDT
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject: Re: Getting Up Into The Bronco
In a message dated 4/20/00 4:31:10 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
[EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:
<< Since I'm only 4 ten or therabouts , we solved the problem of
my getting in the car by the use of a small kitchen stool of about 12
inches high which we place next to the door & I step up on it & back
onto the seat( gracefully I hope) Now if the criteria for whether a
person is getting on or in a vehicle is a matter of a step, am I getting
in or onto the Bronco? >>
Hey To All!
From a fellow less than 5 footer club, I consider this getting "Up Into" the
Bronco. Personally in my opinion since you are immediately taking your
rightful seat in the Bronco and don't have to do the "scrunchie walk" down
the aisle to the seat, it sounds like you are just getting a boost up and
going into the Bronco. LOL, I can empathasize with the kitchen stool method
of getting up into a truck like vehicle as I have gotten into a "high off the
ground" truck a time or two that way. Makes a person appreciate their low to
the ground Honda Accord! Somehow I don't think Aunt Bee had to deal with
those high off the ground vehicles although she has got ON a bus a time or
two!
Watching the Aunt Bee pickle supply,
Sandi
------------------------------
Date: 20 Apr 00 17:09:57 -0500
From: Chris Simmons <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Subject: RE: wbmutbb-digest V2 #121
Reply to: RE: wbmutbb-digest V2 #121
I just got signed up but would like to offer an opinion about the
question concerning entering a car on the pass. side and sliding across.
I own and have restored several old cars and it was common to enter most
cars this way. I've heard it was from the days of horse drawn buggies but
I could never knew why or could confirm that. In fact, the outside door
lock on Ford cars until the late 40's was located on the pass. side door.
Some shifters were designed to swing out of the way to make it easier to
slide to the drivers side. And anyone who has driven a Model A ford knows
thats its hard enough for the driver to get in let alone a passenger to
slide over the large steering wheel.
Hope this may help.
Chris.
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
------------------------------
Date: Thu, 20 Apr 2000 15:52:24 -0400
From: "Dan Goodwin/Jobscope" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Subject: Help Allan!
I know Allan could do this better than I can.
I just spent 4 days at a trade show in the Opryland Hotel. So Sunday,
when I left, I got to say (in my Floydian accent) "I'm going to Nashville!"
dan
------------------------------
Date: Thu, 20 Apr 2000 18:16:06 -0400
From: "GRITTON, JOE A. (AIT)" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Subject: Part 3 Who want to Be a Mayberry Millionaire!
Rejoining Who wants to Be a Mayberry Millionaire...
(remember that Ernest T and Barney have already been in the Hotseat and won
$1000 each, now contestants remaining are
Floyd Lawson, Bee Taylor, Otis Campbell, Lydia Crosswaith, Clara Edwards,
Briscoe Darling , Goober Pyle, Mayor Pike
and Asa Breeney
Regis: OK, we still have nine contestants who are anxious to get up her in
the hotseat so lets go to the fastest finger question. Oh wait, Mr. Campbell
do you have a question?
Otis: Can we got to another commersh, a commersh, a station break so we
can all have a little drinky?
Regis: Well Mr. Campbell, I noticed that you have been kind enough to
keep filling the other contestant water glasses.
Did you not get a chance to get a drink for yourself?
Otis: No Rebus, I didn't . I just added a little of my own bottled water
to the cooler over there. .
(Aunt Bee's voice from the side:...Toot Toot Tootsie Goodbye...Toot Toot
Tootsie Don't cry...)
Regis: Miss Taylor. Are you ok?
(Andy walks in)..She's Gassed! Otis, look what you've done to Aunt Bee on
national television!
Otis: I've never seen her happier
Regis: And look at Mr. Lawson, he's sitting there cutting his own hair, he
looks tipsy
Floyd: Its OK, Its OK Mr. Philbin. I've always wanted to give myself a
haircut...but with that mirror in my shop...
I could never stand to watch Ha ha ha, never stand to watch me
give myself a haircut...Oh boy that's
funny. I think I'm going to give myself Dingo Dog cut...and
then maybe a shampoo and then...then Regis
I'll give you a shampoo right here on TV and name a whole barber
shop company after you. Regis Hair!
Oh no, wait...that's already taken HA HA...uh what does a Dingo
Dog look like any way?
(Lydia is sitting in Goober Lap)
Lydia: Hey big, boy, I think I could learn to like Chit-chat
Goober: Judy Judy Judy Judy Judy, Alright you guys, Cmon you guys, lets go
you guys
Regis: Otis what have you done to these nice people...Let's take a station
break and we'll be right back
- ------------------------------
Regis: Well here we are again folks...we've got lots of coffee goin' over
there in contestant's row. I think Asa
is even awake now...Asa it's good to see you with your head up.
Asa: There's a hold-up Where? Who's got the million bucks?
Regis: Never Mind Asa...Here is the Fastest Finger question. In the County
of Mayberry--Town of Mayberry,
put these municipal codes in numerical order by the code number,
lowest to highest
A) Unlawful assemblage and inciting a riot B)
Parking to Close to a Fire Hydrant
C) Being Intoxicated in a Public Place (D)
Dipping you hat in a horse trough
OK, everyone's finished the correct order is:
115 Fire Hydrant parking
421 Unlawfully Assemblage
502 Being Intoxicated in Public
907 Dipping your hat in a horse trough
and the winner is Briscoe Darling! (Briscoe raises him arms in triumph, the
boys stare forward motionless)
Regis: Well Mr. Darling Congratulations, You know the rules by now, are
you ready to play?
Briscoe: Wellsir, I think I am...but just what happens if I miss the first
question? Do you smack me with a spoon?
Regis: Of course not Mr. Darling. We would just dismiss you to backstage.
Briscoe: Well that sounds OK. I can be humiliated and laughed at on
National Tellyvision..BUT I AIN'T ABOUT TA BE
BEAT TO DEATH WITH NO SPOON.
Regis: Alright Mr. Darling...no problem...Lets Play...Here's the $100
question.
What kind of soap would you use in the shower A) Cheer
B) Tide C) Zest or D) Mr. Clean
Briscoe: Well...I sure can't tell you from personal experience....the only
shower I ever get it is when it starts pouring
before we even get to the Robert E Lee Natural bridge on the farm road.
I've got a hankerin to say Mr.' Clean but I better ask these folks in the
audience
Regis: Sure, we can do that Briscoe---Audience, please vote and help Mr.
Darling out here.
Well, there you have it, 96% say its Zest....and your family
voted for none of the above
Briscoe: Well, My boys may not be much for city-feller cleanin' but they
can work like a team of mules and play bluegrass
sweet enough to make sourwood honey just give up and ooze out
of the tree bark. (in the background the
unmistakable strains of the Darlings can be heard playing
music) I'll go with the Audience and say Zest.
Regis: Feel comfortable with that Briscoe?
Briscoe: If I was any more comfortable, I'd be sittin here in my long
johns, a juggin' with the boys
Regis: Well you're Right! It's Zest! Ok Briscoe...for 200 dollars...Here's
the next question.
Briscoe: Bring it on City Boy, I ain't gettin any younger and I sure ain't
gettin any smarter
Regis: What were the last 2 states to be admitted to the Union A) New
Mexico and Mexico, B) Puerto Rico and Virgin Islands, C) Hawaii and Alaska
or D) Jamaica and Ole Man Kelsey's place.
Briscoe: Well, I recalll my daughter Charlene fixin a nice meal with some
Baked Alaska and Hawaiian Pineapple and I think it must-of been to celebrate
those 2 becomin states...so I'll say C
Regis: That's right! OK For 300 dollars Briscoe, what's another word for;
Pain Is it A) Comfort B) Ache C) Tickle or D) Numb
Briscoe: Its T) Ernest T Bass, He's a real pain if I ever saw one. He's a
pain in the neck and a pain in the seat...and the
T stands for trouble...not Terrance like his mama says
(A rock come flyin in from off-stage, crashing at Briscoe's feet) Ernest
T's unmistakable voice chortles
Ernest T: I ain't no pain I ain't that mean 'but you insult me again,
and I'll steal Charlene?
Regis: Briscoe, Concentrate now That's not one of the choices, Ernest T
Bass is not an answer!
Briscoe: No sir he's not, but he (speaks softly) is a pain...and so is
B)--ache
Regis: That's right! Well Briscoe, you're doing OK...You know I keep
hearing that country music. Is that your boys? and how long have they been
playing music.
Briscoe: Well, about since they was outhouse trained. We didn't do near
as much talkin, as we did singin, when they was little. Rodney was 3 years
old before he spoke his first word.
Regis: Dada or Mama??
Briscoe: Nope it was "MEAT"...he was a hungry fella...and Othel used to
sing himself to sleep.
Regis: Rock-a-bye baby?
Briscoe: No sir, it was "Shut My Eyes and Zonk Me, 'Cause the Sandman is
Packin a Whallop Tonight"...Ya want the boys
to string a few bars for the audience?
Regis: No thanks uh Briscoe, we'd better play the game..Here we go... for
$500
Which of the following will bring you good luck A) A
Rabbit's foot B) A Frog's Leg C) An Owls Wing
or D) an Opossum's hide
(gasp are heard from off-stage Briscoe looks scared)
Briscoe: I don't believe you just spoke "The Curse of the Foo".
Regis: The what? Curse of the Foo. What in the world is that?
Briscoe: You spoke the name of the Frog, the Owl, and the Opossum. They
are all Omen-animals, but if you put them
all in one sentence....your cursed! (Briscoe starts to get up)
Regis: I'm cursed? What do you mean--am I Foo-ed?
Briscoe: You're Foo-ed alright, you're dead meat.
Regis: Wait a minute what about the game?
Briscoe: Send me the check in the mail...but don't you touch it! Your
Foo-ed for life City Boy...nice knowin' ya.
Regis: Well That's all the time we have anyway, Lets give these folks from
Mayberry a nice hand for being here on
Who wants to be a Mayberry Millionaire!
------------------------------
End of wbmutbb-digest V2 #124
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