At 10:56 22/08/2007, you wrote:
Peter,
If you are part educating to the fact of responsibility should the
first line of text to meet the eye be:
'Are you meeting your legal Health and Safety responsibilities? Your
answers are here.'
Good point - I'll revise text
What the hell is a 'microfirm'? One that makes computer chips?
;-) i.e. are you speaking to fellow consultants or small business
owners and club secretaries?
It's the official designation for firms employing less than ten people!
In the pink slab too, drop micro.
The more I'm reading the more I think you need to spend a penny or
two and get an ad/sales/marketing writer to sharpen this up. It is a
description, but not a sales tool. I'm no expert that way, but I
am picking up changes needed every half sentence.
The first iteration of this site was done by someone that said they'd
use professionals to produce the text etc. In fact I ended up paying
a significant sum of money and ended up with a site that was four
months late being delivered, full of problems (links not working
etc.) and earned absolutely nothing for me. Stage payments
fortunately and the last not paid - but the perpetrator has vanished.
As a result the budget is extremely tight now, especially as I've
earned nothing for 12 months while nursing my wife who has terminal cancer.
Those you are addressing are not going to be the same people who
attend conferences, or who spend half their life on courses. They
won't have the 'bizspeak'.
OK - will consider that.
Layout and colour seems to me good and easy to follow. I am not
sure that the right hand column has the right list; or maybe it
needs an intro of a dozen or so words. 'Everything your
organisation does is subject to Health and Safety law. Here is a
list of many aspects to be checked.'
Like that too!
Sorry, can't spend time inside the site, but this is the page that
should get people to stay.
Joseph
Thanks Joseph.
Cheers
Peter
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