Subject: fwd: cute Dilbert definitions >>> Date: Wednesday, October 07, 1998 11:00 AM >>> >>> >>> >>> Forwarded message: >>> _________________________________________________________________ >>> Some of these are new. The next generation. >>> >>> Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline >>> > was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. >>> > >>> > Body Nazis: Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look >>> > down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively. >>> > >>> > Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits >>> > over everything and then leaves. >>> > >>> > Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the >>> > employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands. >>> > >>> > Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles. >>> > >>> > Idea Hamsters: People who always seem to have their idea generators >>> > running. >>> > >>> > Mouse Potato: The online, wired generation's answer to the couch >>> > potato. >>> > >>> > Prairie Dogging: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a >>> > cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see whats >>> > going >>> > on. >>> > >>> > SITCOMs: What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of >>> > them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single >>> > Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. >>> > >>> > Squirt the Bird: To transmit a signal to a satellite. >>> > >>> > Starter Marriage: A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce >>> > with no kids, no property and no regrets. >>> > >>> > Stress Puppy: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and >>> > whiny. >>> > >>> > Swiped Out: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless >>> > because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use. >>> > >>> > Tourists: People who take training classes just to get a vacation >>> > from >>> > their jobs. We had three serious students in the class; the rest were >>> > just tourists. >>> > >>> > Treeware: Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material. >>> > >>> > Xerox Subsidy: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from ones >>> > workplace. >>> > >>> > Going Postal: Euphemism for being totally stressed out, for losing >>> > it. >>> > Makes reference to the unfortunate track record of postal employees >>> > who >>> > have snapped and gone on shooting rampages. >>> > >>> > Alpha Geek: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in >>> > an office or work group. Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here. >>> > >>> > Assmosis: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and >>> > advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard. >>> > >>> > Chips and Salsa: Chips-hardware, salsa-software. Well, first we gotta >>> > figure out if the problem is in your chips or your salsa. >>> > >>> > Flight Risk: Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning >>> > to leave a company or department soon. >>> > >>> > GOOD Job: A Get-Out-Of-Debt job. A well-paying job people take in >>> > order >>> > to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are >>> > solvent gain. >>> > >>> > Irritainment: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, >>> > but >>> > you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were >>> > a >>> > prime example. >>> > >>> > Percussive Maintenance: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an >>> > electronic device to get it to work again. >>> > >>> > Uninstalled: Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a >>> > vice resident at a downsizing computer firm: You have reached the >>> > number of an uninstalled vice president. Please dial our main number >>> > and ask the operator for assistance. See also Decruitment. >>> > >>> > Vulcan Nerve Pinch: The taxing hand position required to reach all >>> > the >>> > appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the warm re-boot >>> > for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control >>> > key, >>> > the Command key, the Return key and the Power On key. >>> > >>> > Yuppie Food Stamps: The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs >>> > everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal: We >>> > owe $10 each, but all anybody' got is yuppie food stamps. ____________________________________________________________________ -------------------------------------------------------------------- Join The Web Consultants Association : Register on our web site Now Web Consultants Web Site : http://just4u.com/webconsultants If you lose the instructions All subscription/unsubscribing can be done directly from our website for all our lists. ---------------------------------------------------------------------
