And while we're on the subject: I've covered the topic of viruses in this
little missive, which is a *draft* FAQ called "Miss Mailers explains
mailing list etiquette". It's modeled after Emily Postnews, which
in turn is modeled after Miss Manners. In other words, it's rip-off
of a rip-off. Comments welcome.
---Rsk
> Subject: FAQ: Miss Mailers Answers Your Questions on Netiquette
> Summary: An explanation of how to use mail and mailing lists
> Keywords: mail, mailing lists, mail servers, netiquette
>
> Copyright Rich Kulawiec 1998.
>
> (This is written in the same style as the Emily Postnews article,
> with the permission of Brad Templeton, who also suggested the name.
> If you post news to Usenet -- ever -- you should make sure that you've
> read and understood Emily Postnews.)
>
>
> Q. I just a read a great message that I agree with entirely -- I want to
> make sure that everyone on the mailing list knows that. What should I do?
>
> A. You should follow up to the entire mailing list -- quoting the
> previous message in its entirety, of course -- and add your affirmation
> by choosing from one of the following short messages:
>
> I agree!
>
> 'nuff said.
>
> I couldn't have put it better myself.
>
> Well spoken.
>
> Everyone on the mailing list will be anxiously waiting for your response,
> so don't hesitate -- send it out right away.
>
>
> Q. Should I format my messages with HTML?
>
> A. Absolutely. HTML isn't just intended for the web, you know; in fact,
> it makes complete sense to send *all* of your messages in HTML, because
> your deathless prose will make an even bigger impression if you surround
> it with HTML tags. Think of how much better Henry V's speech
> before the battle of Agincourt would read if Shakespeare had access to HTML:
>
> <pre>
> If we are mark'd to die, we are <i>enow</i>
> To do our country loss; and if to live,
> The fewer men, the greater share of honour.
> <em>God's will!</em> I pray thee, wish not <u>one</u> man more.
> <!--- Henry pauses, then continues --->
> By <b>Jove</b>, I am not covetous for gold,
> Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;
> It yearns me not if men my garments wear;
> Such outward things dwell not in my desires:
> But if it be a sin to covet <blink>honour</blink>,
> <strong>I am the most offending soul alive.</strong>
> </pre>
>
> So don't bother with a spell checker; don't waste your time trying
> to edit your comments into comprehensible prose; just trot out those
> HTML tags and go to it!
>
>
> Q. Should I send messages containing information in proprietary formats,
> such as those used by commercial word processing packages?
>
> A. Sure. *Everyone* on the Internet uses the same proprietary software
> that you do, even the people who use totally different computing
> platforms running totally different operating systems. They'll have no
> problem deciphering your message, even if it is in WordFrabble '97.
> Just disregard those people who ask you to use ASCII text -- they're
> not anyone you should care about reaching with your messages.
>
>
> Q. How long should my signature be?
>
> A. As long as possible. Everyone on the mailing list will want to see
> it every single time you send anything along for them to read.
> Embed half a dozen URLs, a quote or two, and an ASCII graphic in it
> to make it larger. Don't consider your effort successful unless you
> put more time into your signature than into the content of your messages.
>
>
> Q. How much of the previous message should I quote when responding?
>
> A. Why, *all of it*, of course! Be sure to include (a) the headers
> (b) the entire message text (c) the sender's signature and (d) any
> boilerplate added at the bottom by the mailing list software.
>
>
> Q. Alright, I did that. But I was responding to a response to a
> a response to a message, and I'm not sure who said what.
>
> A. Don't worry about it! Just attribute all the remarks to the last
> person, or first person, or *any* person involved in the conversation.
> Nobody will ever get upset because you quoted them as saying something
> that they didn't.
>
>
> Q. What's the best way to format plain text for a mailing list?
>
> A. Uuencode it, then make it a MIME attachment. This ensures that
> everyone will have to make an appropriate effort to read it.
> *Don't ever* just append it to your message, indenting it by
> a tab or ">" character; that would make it far too easy for the readers.
>
>
> Q. How long should my lines be?
>
> A. As long (or short) as you like!
> You can make them really short,
> which has the advantage that even
> short notes will scroll right off
> the recipients' screens, giving
> the impression that you had more
> to say than you actually did, or
> you can make them really long. In fact, the best way to make them really long is
>to completely forget about embedding newlines in them. Using this technique,you can
>pack your entire message onto one line of text. This will enable your messages to be
>much shorter than other folks', moving them to the head of any mail queues that they
>find themselves in.
>
>
> Q. Why do people keep asking me not to shout?
>
> A. BECAUSE THEY REALLY DON'T APPRECIATE THE NUANCES OF UPPERCASE MESSAGES.
> THIS MIXED-CASE BUSINESS IS JUST A PASSING FAD. YOU CAN SAFELY IGNORE IT.
>
>
> Q. Elvis was just sighted in a Springfield Quickie-Mart! What do I do?
>
> A. Spread the news! Send a note to every mailing list you're on as soon
> as possible. Your message will be the first place that anyone hears
> about this (since radio, television, and newspapers will ignore it)
> and everyone will rush to their computers just in case you might have
> sent an important message.
>
>
> Q. I sent a question to the mailing list at 9:30 Friday night; it's
> now five hours later and nobody answered me!
>
> A. Well, there's no chance that your mail is queued up somewhere
> waiting to be delivered, or that it's a holiday weekend and many
> people are away from their mail. Best that you send the question
> again; if that doesn't work, send it *again* and complain that nobody
> is paying any attention to you. After all, if you don't get a response
> back within five minutes of sending your message, something must be
> terribly wrong.
>
>
> Q. Oh, okay. Well, I got an answer, but all it said was "RTFM".
>
> A. No problem. That's someone's way of telling you that they're going
> to go Read The Fine Manual for you. They know that you're far too busy
> to read the documentation/manuals/FAQs/web sites/newsgroups/books/magazines
> that describe the item you're trying to use, so they're going to do it for
> you, and then send you an easy-to-use compendium of all the useful
> information that they found. Since they're not at all busy, they're
> going to spend 24 hours a day working on this, just for you, until they
> get it done.
>
>
> Q. Oh, FAQs, I almost forget. Some lamer told me to read the FAQ.
> What the heck is that?
>
> A. Nothing that you should worry about. FAQs are written solely
> for the amusement of their authors, and you needn't read them.
>
>
> Q. Well, I just had a big argument with this guy from Furballs, Inc.,
> on the underwater hockey mailing list. I'm going to tell everyone
> not to buy any Furball products.
>
> A. Good idea! As you know, everyone who sends mail from a .com (or .edu,
> or .gov, etc.) address is acting as an official spokesperson for that
> organization 100% of the time, and so you should hold that organization
> responsible for every single thing those people say.
>
>
> Q. What should I put on the "Subject:" line?
>
> A. This is your chance to be as quixotic and intriguing as possible, so
> make the most of it. Make sure that the "Subject:" line is as uninformative
> as possible -- after all, you want to make sure that everyone actually
> reads your message, so don't give it away in the headers. Here are
> some suggested "Subject:" lines to pick from:
>
> Subject: test
> Subject: help
> Subject: unsubscribe
> Subject: Internet
> Subject: quote
> Subject: problem
> Subject: message
> Subject:
>
>
> Q. I'm not sure if the mailing list is still alive, or if I'm
> still on it, or if my mailer is working. What should I do?
>
> A. Why, send a "test" message to the entire mailing list. Everyone will
> have been wondering where you are, and they won't mind at all if
> you test out your mailer by sending a message to all of them.
> So don't shortchange them by writing just to the mailing list owner;
> spread your test as far and wide as possible. In fact, why not send
> multiple "test" messages, and to every mailing list you're on?
> You'll make many new friends this way, too.
>
>
> Q. Hey, I heard this really funny joke...
>
> A. Oh, stop right there. You need to send this out to every single
> mailing list you're on, regardless of those lists' topics, because
> everyone will want to read this joke, too. Of course since you're
> the only person who's heard this joke, and since there are no
> mailing lists specifically for humor, your message will be greeted
> with much hilarity wherever you send it.
>
>
> Q. Wow! There's a new virus called ArmaStealthKillerDeathPong.
> I need to tell everyone!
>
> A. Yes, you do -- and as soon as possible. Make sure to send out
> your warning to everyone right away -- don't even stop to check out
> one of more of
>
> Computer Virus Myths Home Page at
> http://kumite.com/myths/
>
> The Urban Legends Web Site at
> http://www.urbanlegends.com
>
> Department of Energy Computer Incident Advisory Capability at
> http://ciac.llnl.gov/ciac/CIACHoaxes.html
>
> Symantec Anti Virus Research Center at
> http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/index.html
>
> Dr. Solomons Hoax Page at
> http://www.drsolomons.com/vircen/hoax.html
>
> Urban Legends Reference Pages at
> http://www.snopes.com
>
> Datafellows Hoax Warnings at
> http://www.Europe.Datafellows.com/news/hoax.htm
>
> Evaluating Internet Research Sources at
> http://www.sccu.edu/faculty/R_Harris/evalu8it.htm
>
> Evaluation of Information Sources at
> http://www.vuw.ac.nz/~agsmith/evaln/evaln.htm
>
> Bibliography on Evaluating Internet Resources at
> http://refserver.lib.vt.edu/libinst
>
> before doing so. *This* virus might be the one that brings down
> computers all over the planet, so everyone needs to know about it.
>
>
> Q. Hey, did you see the new movie where the ending ha
>
> A. Miss Mailers apologizes for interrupting you in mid-sentence
> by confiscating your keyboard, but would like to take this opportunity
> to explain to you what the word 'Spoiler' means.
>
> Many artistic creations (plays, movies, television, music, etc.) and
> sports events contain unexpected events which depend on the lack of
> foreknowledge by the audience to be entertaining. Revealing these events
> in advance is considered extremely bad form, since it spoils the
> enjoyment of the presentation by the audience.
>
> The global reach of the Internet combined with the multiple mediums
> through which performances can reach an audience (including the
> Internet itself) makes it nearly impossible for a writer to predict
> when all of the readers of his/her missive will have experienced
> the event in question. (For example, many movies aren't seen by
> an audience until they're released on videocassette; and many Internet
> users use their VCRs to tape-delay sports events.)
>
> For this reason, it's considered good Internet form to (1) *never* reveal
> anything of consequence about an event on the "Subject:" line of
> a message and (2) mark any message which contains "spoiler" information
> in its body with the word "SPOILER" on the "Subject:" line so that
> readers can avoid reading it if they choose.
>
> Failure to observe this relatively simple convention can generate a
> surprisingly large amount of hostility very rapidly. Of course,
> this doesn't apply to *you*, just to everyone else on the 'net.
>
> You may have your keyboard back now.
>
>
> Q. Whew! Well, then, can I sent this picture of the event out?
>
> A. Why, certainly. No one on the mailing list, especially its owner,
> will mind if you try to propagate a huge data file through a distribution
> mechanism intended for small text messages. Be sure to encode the
> image in a non-compressing format, preferably a proprietary one; this
> ensures that it takes up as much room as possible and is readable
> by as few people as possible.
>
>
> Q. I want to leave this mailing list; what should I do?
>
> A. Send an "unscribe" message to the entire mailing list. All of them
> will want to know that you're leaving, and you won't be able to get off
> the mailing list until you tell them. Some of them may try to tell
> you to use the "-request" address and spell it "unsubscribe"; ignore them,
> and just send your "unscribe" message to everyone again. If this doesn't
> work after three or four tries, then threaten to mailbomb the list unless
> you're removed immediately.
>
>
> ------------------ Administrator's section ---------------------------
>
> Q. I'm setting up a mailing list about furballs. What mechanism should
> I provide for people to join and leave it?
>
> A. Don't use the silly de facto Internet convention of
>
> furballs-request@listhostname
>
> Far too many people will guess this and will send mail containing things
> like "subscribe furballs myaddress@myhost" in the body of their messages
> to it. Instead, choose from one of the following:
>
> - A web-based interface, which denies access to your mailing list
> to anyone who can't connect via HTTP to your site. (After all,
> you wouldn't want *those* people on your mailing list, anyway.
> They're probably on non-IP networks or behind firewalls that
> don't permit HTTP, and their contributions to your mailing list
> aren't worth having.)
>
> - A subscription address that has nothing to do with the list
> address -- preferably one that's difficult to remember; for
> example, "mailing-list-administrator-for-furballs@listhostname",
> Or try using one that's just close enough to the de facto
> convention to be confusing, maybe something on the order of
> "furball-subscribe@listhostname".
>
> - Subscription procedures which require information on the "Subject:"
> line of messages, e.g. "Subject: subscribe furballs".
>
> - Subscription procedures which require agreement to an elaborate
> charter wherein the applicant has to reveal lots of personal details
> and sign their life away.
>
> Remember, your mailing list is unique, so make sure that your subscription
> procedures are unique as well. The more hoops you make subscribers jump
> through, the more they'll appreciate being on your list. And you'll
> get to make them do it again to get off the list!
>
>
> Q. That's right! I forgot about unsubscription procedures. What do I do?
>
> A. No problem - do *nothing*. That's right, let 'em guess. Oh, sure,
> you could either send them an introductory document that explains the
> mechanics of your mailing list; or you could use the standard -request
> address and honor "unsubscribe" requests - but where's the fun in that?
>
> No, it's much more interesting to watch the users try to figure it out,
> especially when they start mailing their unsubscribe requests to the
> entire list.
>
>
> Q. Okay, I've got my mailing list about furballs working. But people
> keep trying to subscribe using their e-mail address and not their name!
> What can I do about this?
>
> A. Oh, those pesky users! They're just trying to provide unique addresses
> for themselves or their local mailing list exploders. You should make them
> send subscription requests in this form:
>
> subscribe furballs Joe Blow
>
> rather than this one:
>
> subscribe furballs [EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> because you *need* to know Joe Blow's name. Don't worry: there will
> never be two people named Joe Blow on the Internet. And this won't
> cause any problems when Joe Blow changes e-mail addresses. Besides,
> rather than letting Joe Blow tell you his e-mail address, you can just
> pluck it out of the headers, overiding his choice of the address at
> which he'd like to receive mailing list traffic.
>
>
> Q. I'd like to make sure that mail from the furballs mailing list
> is noticed by subscribers. Should I tag all the messages with "FB"
> on the "Subject:" line?
>
> A. Absolutely. Since there are no such things as mail filtering
> agents that can sort incoming mail based on its "To:" or "From:"
> headers, you need to make this as easy as possible for your users.
> Be sure to choose a tag that someone else might pick as well -- your users
> will just have to decide which mailing list they want to be on.
> (Besides, then you can pick a fight with the other mailing list admin
> over which one of you has the rights to use that particular tag.)
> And if anyone complains about messages showing up with "Subject:"
> lines like
>
> Subject: [FB] Re: [FB] RE(2): [FB] Furballs considered harmful
>
> then just unsubscribe them from the list.
>
>
> Q. I want to set up a mailing list about HTML. Any problem with that?
>
> A. Why, what a remarkably original idea. Nobody else has thought of this --
> ever. Go ahead and set your mailing list up. Make sure to announce it
> as "THE html mailing list" so that everyone knows that your list is
> the definitive source for information on and discussions about HTML.
> Disregard anyone who points out that there are already half-a-dozen
> mailing lists on this topic -- they're probably mistaken, and even if
> they aren't, none of those mailing lists are probably worth much --
> certainly not what *yours* is. Just go ahead with your project.
> Be sure to name the mailing list "html-l", because that name is
> unlikely to already be in use elsewhere.
>
>
> Q. I'm setting up a mailing list for cross-dressing Republican furball
> lovers from Nevada. This is a socially sensitive subject, so what should
> I do to ensure confidentiality?
>
> A. Just promise it to the users and make them agree not to publish
> archives of the mailing list on the Internet. They will all adhere to
> this forever and ever; not a single message will ever leak out to
> a web or ftp site. This simple step will ensure that everyone can
> discuss the most personal details of their private lives with *complete*
> assurance that none of them will ever be disclosed to the entire world.
>
>
> Q. I want to run a mailing list. Do I have to know anything?
>
> A. Of *course* not. You'll have no problem if you remain blissfully
> ignorant of how Internet mail works, or how sometimes it doesn't work,
> or why, or how to get it fixed. You just go ahead and set up your
> mailing list, and the entire rest of the 'net population will be
> delighted to tolerate whatever mishaps you inflict on them, because
> they all know you're too busy to actually learn *anything*. They'll
> probably send you mail containing code phrases like "SMTP", "DNS"
> "MX records", and "majordomo" but you can safely ignore all of it.
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