On Tue 05 Aug 2008 at 02:21PM, Glynn Foster wrote:
> Hey,
>
> On 5/08/2008, at 2:08 PM, michelle olson wrote:
>
> > Hi all,
> >
> > Thanks for your time to review, I have incorporated the comments from
> > our first round, except for the list below, which I haven't started on
> > yet. See the alpha draft here:
> > http://stage.opensolaris.org/os/
>
> Looks good - my only comment would be about spacing between the ZFS
> splash and the beta about description, as it seems relatively large
> when I look at it between both Firefox and Safari.
Agree on the spacing.
---
I assume you'll be populating the ZFS text with appropriate links?
I left those out in my mockup because I was working with an image
editor...
---
I'm not suggesting my opinion one way or another, but I do expect that
"Sun Product Links" is going to cause a ruckus. I thought the
negotiated term was "Words from our Sponsor" or some such.
---
Bold paragraph:
"vast wealth" followed by "virtually limitless" is a little too
breathlessly marketingish for my taste. And it leaves out vast swaths
of functionality in focusing on storage, observability, and HPC.
This kind of text is hard to write. I sometimes this it can be
better and more succinct if written more about *you* and less about
*some people*.
If the text had some links to lead you places, it'd be more
interesting.
Suggest: "makes it free to use, even for commercial implementations."
Change to: "makes it free for everyone to use and modify."
---
-dp
--
Daniel Price - Solaris Kernel Engineering - [EMAIL PROTECTED] - blogs.sun.com/dp
_______________________________________________
website-discuss mailing list
[email protected]
