Dan Price wrote: > On Tue 05 Aug 2008 at 02:21PM, Glynn Foster wrote: > >> Hey, >> >> On 5/08/2008, at 2:08 PM, michelle olson wrote: >> >> >>> Hi all, >>> >>> Thanks for your time to review, I have incorporated the comments from >>> our first round, except for the list below, which I haven't started on >>> yet. See the alpha draft here: >>> http://stage.opensolaris.org/os/ >>> >> Looks good - my only comment would be about spacing between the ZFS >> splash and the beta about description, as it seems relatively large >> when I look at it between both Firefox and Safari. >> > > Agree on the spacing. >
I'm having trouble getting rid of the extra spacing, any help appreciated. > --- > I assume you'll be populating the ZFS text with appropriate links? > I left those out in my mockup because I was working with an image > editor... > done. > --- > I'm not suggesting my opinion one way or another, but I do expect that > "Sun Product Links" is going to cause a ruckus. I thought the > negotiated term was "Words from our Sponsor" or some such. > Since this was a change requested in the first round of review, I'd like to see how it goes first. > --- > Bold paragraph: > > "vast wealth" followed by "virtually limitless" is a little too > breathlessly marketingish for my taste. And it leaves out vast swaths > of functionality in focusing on storage, observability, and HPC. > > This kind of text is hard to write. I sometimes this it can be > better and more succinct if written more about *you* and less about > *some people*. > OK, I tried to improve this with links and less vast wealthiness, let me know what you think. > If the text had some links to lead you places, it'd be more > interesting. > > Suggest: "makes it free to use, even for commercial implementations." > Change to: "makes it free for everyone to use and modify." > done. Thanks again for your time to review! -Michelle > --- > > > > -dp > > _______________________________________________ website-discuss mailing list [email protected]
