A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow,
next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to
explain why it didn't happen.
- Winston Churchill

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the
politicians as a joke.
- Will Rogers

Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned
with right or left instead of right or wrong.
- Richard Armour

Why are politics and a pond similar? Because the scum always floats to the
top in both!
- Linda McDonald

Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the
same reason.
- Anonymous

What is conservatism? Is it not the adherence to the old and tried against
the new and untried?
- Abraham Lincoln

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed
by those who are dumber.
- Plato

Priests are no more necessary to religion than politicians to patriotism.
- John Haynes

Men say I am a saint losing himself in politics. The fact is that I am a
politician trying my hardest to become a saint.
- Mahatma Gandhi

Get thee glass eyes, And, like a scurvy politician, seem To see the things
thou dost not.
- William Shakespeare

On both sides of a war, how many mothers must face the death of their sons
because a politician will not face the death of one misguided opinion?
- Laura Teresa Marquez

Political language. . . is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder
respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.
- George Orwell

Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many; and "tics" meaning bloodsucking
creatures.
- Robin Williams


During the debate, John McCain sparked a controversy when he referred to Barack
Obama as "that one." Afterwards, McCain said, "What — like I'm supposed to
remember everyone's name now?"

-Conan O'Brien



I don't want to say the debate was boring, but I didn't think a political
event could be that dull without the help of Al Gore.

-Jay Leno



Because of all the international focus on the election, the debate was
broadcast in foreign countries all across Europe, Asia, and South America.
Or as Sarah Palin calls them — "Russia."

-Conan O'Brien



I did take exception to McCain calling Obama "that one." I can't think of
anytime it would be appropriate to call a United States senator "that one."
Well, maybe if you had to pick a senator out of a lineup.

-Craig Ferguson



"Possible controversy for the Obama campaign. Republicans are now accusing
Barack Obama's campaign of voter fraud, because some of the people they've
registered sound like they have fake names. Apparently, the fakest-sounding
name is Barack Obama."

-Conan O'Brien



"Yeah, the economy is going to hell, but at least we're getting leadership
from the White House. That's the important thing, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank God for that."

-David Letterman



"Nation, what a debate last Thursday. Both candidates surpassed
expectations. Sarah Palin proved she could speak, and Joe Biden proved he
could stop speaking."

-Stephen Colbert



"John McCain has pulled out of Michigan. I guess the surge wasn't working.
Yup, this is stunning to me. John McCain blew off Michigan. Well, I know how
they feel. Maybe you noticed that all of John McCain's problems began when
he bailed out on this show? Were you aware of that? The road to the White
House runs right through here."

-David Letterman



"The second presidential debate is tonight. And beforehand, I don't know if
you heard this, John McCain said, 'The gloves are coming off.' That's what
he said, yeah. Yeah, then McCain said, 'but don't worry, the diaper is
staying on.'"

-Conan O'Brien

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