"The wife of NASA Chief Michael Griffin has started a petition to ask
Barack Obama not to fire her husband. Apparently the couple is worried
since every time he walks into a room everyone starts counting backwards
from ten."
- Jim Barach
--------------------
Don't Be Slowing Things Down!
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/crmlu/2009/crmlu090102.gif
--------------------
"Caroline Kennedy ran into opposition to her Senate bid from New York
Democrats Sunday. They say she's uninspiring, inarticulate and unfamiliar
with issues. The only thing that's saving her political career is that
Tina Fey looks nothing like her."
- Argus Hamilton
--------------------
"Politics is the gizzard of society, full of gut and gravel."
- Henry David Thoreau
--------------------
New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson announced he is dropping his bid to be
Barack Obama's commerce secretary amid a grand jury investigation into how
some of his political donors received a lucrative state contract.
.. In an attempt to distract attention from the investigation, Richardson
shouted to reporters, "Look, you can see Mexico from my house!"
.. These governors are all alike. Richardson is just Sarah Palin without
the ability to field-dress a moose.
- Jerry Perisho
--------------------
C'mon In!
http://www.gocomics.com/joelpett/2009/01/02/
--------------------
"Photos of Sarah Palin's grandson have been bought by People Magazine for
a reported $300,000. That's enough for a fully furnished triple wide
trailer and a shotgun for every room."
- Jim Barach
--------------------
Republicans To Flee D.C. For Inauguration
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0109/16987.html
While millions descend on Washington for the historic Inauguration of
Barack Obama on Jan. 20, some Republicans see it as an occasion to get out
of town.
Out of power on both ends of Pennsylvania Avenue and mostly out of favor
on K Street, many emasculated elephants in the GOP herd will begin the Age
of Obama with what amounts to an extended holiday vacation. Instead of
fighting the quadrennial cold and what are expected to be record-setting
crowds, they're heading out to greener pastures, with better temperatures,
less hassle and more agreeable company.
"What better way to mark the Obama Inauguration (and his millions of
adoring fans that will be in D.C.) than to get out of town to fabulous Las
Vegas!" Charlie Spies, a Republican lawyer and former CFO to Mitt Romney's
campaign wrote in a blast e-mail to GOP friends. "We hope you can join us
for dinner and a fun evening on Monday, Jan. 19, to celebrate the last few
hours of our Republican president in the White House."
Spies and his wife Lisa, a Republican fundraiser, have gotten about 15
takers so far for this last supper or, as they billed it in the e-mail,
their own "Inaugural in Exile." ...
--------------------
"The U.S. military formally handed authority over Baghdad's "Green Zone"
to Iraqis on Thursday. President Bush didn't show, even though Iraqi
reporters brought extra shoes."
- Joe Hickman
--------------------
Go Ahead.... You Know You Want To!
http://www.aksalser.com/game.htm
--------------------
"We are close to achieving most of our objectives. We have a significant
reduction in the overall level of violence."
- Vice President "Dick" Cheney
He then forgot to add, "We are this >< close to fixing what would not have
been so f***ed up if it wasn't for us in the first place."
--------------------
"Hamas terrorists are hiding out in Gaza hospitals, disguised as doctors
and nurses. In the U.S., terrorists also hide out in hospitals, disguised
as health insurance adjusters."
- Jake Novak
--------------------
Darwin Was Right...
http://us.cnn.com/POLITICS/analysis/toons/2009/01/02/lang/
--------------------
Palestinian Revellers Brave 'Terrible Conditions' to Welcome in the New
Year
http://www.dailyfortnight.com/world/42palestinian.htm
Braving horrible war time conditions, thousands of Palestinians celebrated
the coming of 2009 along the infamous Gaza Strip, as neighbouring Israel
provided an impressive and explosive fireworks display across the Gaza
City skyline.
Celebrations went on long into the night, with bangs ringing out into the
air above the Hamas controlled region. Israeli President, Shimon Peres,
praised the efforts of his nation's air force, saying: "They did a
magnificent job of lighting up the Gaza night sky, which was clearly a
moment of great joy for everyone".
On a more sour note, Palestinian officials say nearly 100 civilians were
killed when a number of fireworks "accidentally went astray".
--------------------
It's Their Fault!
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/crsbe/2009/crsbe090105.gif
--------------------
"President Bush's advisers say his administration never recovered from
Hurricane Katrina. If they think Bush has never recovered, they should
check out New Orleans sometime."
- Jim Barach
--------------------
Just A Prank....
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/tmdsh/2009/tmdsh090102.gif
--------------------
Chief Justice Roberts’s Annual Appeal
http://tinyurl.com/7nnjpf
The Supreme Court faces a lot of tough questions, but for Chief Justice
John Roberts, one of the hardest comes each December, when he files the
Year-End Report on the Federal Judiciary: How will he style his annual
plea for a judicial pay raise? ...
. . this year, reflecting his ex officio role as chancellor of the
Smithsonian Institution, the chief justice chose to unfurl an artifact of
Americana in the service of raising judges' salaries, a delicate topic
amid a recession and rising unemployment. The actual Star-Spangled Banner
that flew over Fort McHenry during the British attack in 1814 can now be
viewed at the Smithsonian's newly renovated National Museum of American
History, he observed. Yet "the stripes are frayed, the canton is worn, and
one of its 15 stars has gone missing," he wrote. Some of those scars came
from "pitched battle" -- but others "regrettably, from later neglect."
In case anyone missed the metaphor (American flag=judicial pay), Roberts
then shifted to requesting a raise.
"The Judiciary's needs cannot be postponed indefinitely without damaging
its fabric," he wrote. "Given the Judiciary's small cost, and its
absolutely critical role in protecting the Constitution and rights we
enjoy, I must renew the Judiciary's modest petition: Simply provide
cost-of-living increases that have been unfairly denied!"
Federal district judges, incidentally, get the same salary as senators and
representatives, $169,300. Circuit judges clock in at $179,500, the eight
associate justices of the Supreme Court receive $208,100 and Roberts
himself earns $217,400. ...
--------------------
Can You Handle It Yourself?
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/tr/2009/tr090105.gif
--------------------
It was awkward when they asked President Bush what his New Year's
resolution is, he said "Our government needs work, but there's no reason
to overthrow it and start a resolution."
- Alex Kaseberg
--------------------
Can You Turn Out The Lights 'Fore You Go?
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/crjsh/2008/crjsh081231.gif
--------------------
"President Bush's advisers say that Dick Cheney was not pulling the
strings behind the scenes. Apparently Cheney's people are trying to make
sure that Bush gets all the blame for the past eight years."
- Jim Barach
--------------------
BREAKING NEWS from PNN.news.com
-- According to a recent poll, three out of four Americans are happy to
see President George W. Bush go. The rest said they didn't understand the
question.
PNN:
Making you more informed and obnoxious than when you woke up.
*************************************************************
© 2008 PBen News Network, Inc. "We say it, you believe it."
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