October 13, 2010

Palin’s Evolution into O’Donnell Proves Darwin Was Wrong

Scientists Propose ‘Theory of Devolution’

OSLO, NORWAY (The Borowitz Report) – Two of the theory of evolution’s most 
vociferous doubters, Sarah Palin and Christine O’Donnell, may be living proof 
that Darwin was wrong, leading scientists believe.

A conference of the most prominent evolutionary scientists in the world has 
concluded that the apparent evolution of Ms. Palin into Ms. O’Donnell suggests, 
in the words of Dr. Hiroshi Kyosuke of the University of Tokyo, “that Darwin 
got it backwards.”

“We still believe that evolution is more than a theory and is, in fact, a very 
real thing,” said Dr. Kyosuke.  “However, in the case of Palin and O’Donnell, 
it seems to be moving in a reverse direction.”

Dr. Kyosuke stunned the conference when he presented his scholarly paper, “Tea 
Party Politicians and the Theory of Devolution,” in which he studied the 
so-called “reverse natural selection” at play in GOP candidates for Governor of 
New York.

“If we chart the trend line from George Pataki to Carl Paladino, within fifty 
years New York might be governed by Cro-Magnon Man,” he said.

Mr. Paladino did not offer an official response to the scientist’s remarks, but 
said that he had one hundred aides typing on one hundred typewriters 
simultaneously to craft a statement.

For her part, Ms. O’Donnell today released her official campaign platform, in 
which she opposes the use of simple tools and the discovery of fire.


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