I'm guessing you're either waking up suddenly, intently focused on the situation as if you were never asleep at all, or you're waking up with a vauge feeling of unease, and as the fogginess lifts your stomach drops in panic? You know you've got a million things to do, but you don't know what any of them are?
Trying to distract yourself deliberately is a bad idea. Seriously, it will make things worst. Have things to do that are simple and comforting, but do not force it, you'll feel worst and helpless if you do. Better to accept that you're out of control of most things, especially the way you feel, and find the few things in the situation you can control. The little things you do (especially for others) will make you feel better. Trying to force yourself to feel in control is a nightmare. That's how I ended up near suicidal and weeping uncontrollably at a screening of Bride and Prejudice. Not pretty. You'll know when it feels safe to return to the land of the living. Be in hell for now, just wear sunscreen.
But for a brief distraction, I present this: Paris Hilton Doesn't Change Facial Expressions at http://tinyurl.com/ds2nf (best viewed with sound, dial-up friendly-ish).
dvm8375 <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
We got some really scary health news about my dad on Friday, and now
we're in that lovely "waiting to hear what's next" period. It is so
maddening, and I am FREAKING OUT. My actions alternate between
spontaneous weeping and wild attempts at distraction. When do we
get the clarity to start making the inappropriate jokes? I could
really use some humor right now.
--- In [email protected], Eleanor Keyser
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
>
> Yup. Still caretake my Mom full time, but she was in hospitals
and nursing homes for four months straight last year. Have you
started making really inappropriate jokes and sarcastic comments
yet? Man, my sister and I developed the most twisted gallows humor
during that time. Fortunately, we found each other hilarious.
>
> hermespal <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> Actually, that's a pretty fair approximation full stop. Thanks. I
> take it you've experienced this particular hell?
>
> Would love to check out the link, but unfortunately my parents'
> computer is on dial up and does not handle movies well. Will come
> back to it when I'm on the high speed with the laptop later in
the
> week, if I manage to escape the house and get down to the
library.
>
>
>
>
> --- In [email protected], Eleanor Keyser
> <eleanorkeyser@> wrote:
> >
> > Sigh. I, too, have no life. I've been meaning to second (and
now
> third and fourth) the supportive shout out, and I do so now: I'm
> sending out psychic sympathy rays. Do you feel better? No?
Okay,
> well then, here's this link:
> >
> > http://tinyurl.com/7njwc
> >
> > Click "Watch Movie" and turn the subtitles on. I must warn
you,
> though, this song will get stuck in your head, terminally.
> >
> > Also, hospitals suck. No, I mean it--they really, really
suck. It
> seems almost barbaric as the loved one of a seriously ill person
to
> sit endlessly and uselessly as people who could help muddle their
way
> through what is to them just another day at a job they're tired
of.
> It's a ruthless alternative universe that seems both completely
> shocking and infinite, like you've been doing this and will keep
> doing this all your life. Yet you know intellectually that it's
> inevitably going to stop, and then quite abruptly. There's no
> insulation, and there's no time to process what's happening.
You're
> just thrust into a new monotonous routine, surrounded by pain,
> sickness, and death. You can't give your good health to someone
> else, and your friends can't give their good spirits to you. And
> it's especially perverse that the world keeps spinning anyway.
> Worst, you know it has to be this way, and you want so much to
get
> back into orbit, but it's not that simple. It feels like a
> > part of your soul is always going to be anchored in this
moment,
> and hereafter you're always going to be a little less free, a
little
> more tethered down. You can't let it go, but you want to, but
you
> feel like you shouldn't. I mean, where does the horror go? The
pain
> and grief are so tangible they can't just evaporate, right?
People
> memorialize death, but they don't memorialize dying. You'll go
stark
> raving mad if it doesn't stop, but you'll be completely lost when
it
> does. You feel everything and nothing. You're bouncing from
> reassuring optimist to steeled pragmatist every thirty seconds.
You
> love dearly and hate dearly everyone around you. It's rather
like
> being a teenager again. Also, hospital soap really smells. It's
> truly nauseous stuff.
> >
> > Okay, so that's like, a fair (and rambling) approximation of
about
> a tenth of what you're feeling now, right? And you kind of want
me
> to piss off (because I don't really understand) but you want to
> appreciate that I've tried? Kinda sorta? Fair enough. Wish I
could
> say something wonderful, but I can't. I'm really, truly sorry.
You
> do know how lucky your family is to have you, I hope. It will
end,
> and it will get better, and you will be different afterward.
Life
> sucks, but at least James will always be here with a well-placed
> snarky comment, so there is that.
> >
> > Also, popsicles help.
> >
> > hermespal <hermespal@> wrote: Look, I know it's the weekend
> and most of you actually have lives,
> > but you're really letting me down fellow weingarten chatters.
> Where
> > is the humor? The interesting links to something bizarre or
laugh-
> > worthy? (okay, the cow stuff was great, but it was yesterday!)
> >
> > Okay, I hereby withdraw the guilt trip. Sort of. I mean, if I
was
> > REALLY going to withdraw it I wouldn't post this, would I?
> >
> > One of your bretheren, or is it sisteren? is going stir crazy
in a
> > small town tonight. Missing a HUGE birthday bash for a dear
friend
> > aka SO's business partner back home (my home, anyway). Feeling
a
> bit
> > blue. If I'd thought of it, I would have sent (er, I mean
asked
> very
> > kindly if he would consent) Areo in my stead (which would have
> been
> > truly interesting vis a vis the SO, but what is life without a
> little
> > mystery?).
> >
> > Allrighty then. I feel better just spilling that out. Sorry to
> > impose, but thanks for reading. Hope you had a great weekend!
> >
> > (moving away from the computer now) mumble, mumble, grumble,
> sniff...
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
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>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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