--- In [email protected], "maxshenk"
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
>
> I rate this thread a AA; we'll C how long it lasts, though.
>
>
> --- In [email protected], Diane Lochner
> <dlochund@> wrote:
> >
> > you guys are Everready with the quick comments
> >
> > maxshenk <brianmargo67@> wrote: It's hard to tell watt'll
> happen. A more devolted group you'll never
> > find, though.
> >
> >
> >
> > --- In [email protected], "dlochund" <dlochund@>
> > wrote:
> > >
> > > This group seems to have a great capacity for puns.
> > > I wonder if we'll meet resistance to these current attempts?
> > >
> > > --- In [email protected], "maxshenk"
> > > <brianmargo67@> wrote:
> > > >
> > > > Let's pole the group first and see if it passes the acid test.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > --- In [email protected], "James" <ttlsccr@>
> > > > wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > Guilty as charged. Put me in a cell.
> > > > >
> > > > > --- In [email protected], "maxshenk"
> > > > > <brianmargo67@> wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Arrest this man for battery!
> > > > > >
> > > > > > --- In [email protected], "James"
> <ttlsccr@>
> > > > > > wrote:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > In fact they seem to Energizer. Thump thump, thump
thump.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > --- In [email protected], "Ellen"
> > > > > > > <ellengoodman6@> wrote:
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Deprecating comments from people who live hundreds or
> > > > thousands
> > > > > > of
> > > > > > > > miles away that I wouldn't recognize if I tripped
over
> > them
> > > > > don't
> > > > > > > > affect me much, no.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > --- In [email protected], "maxshenk"
> > > > > > > > <brianmargo67@> wrote:
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > Well, you've survived this chat so far, so I'd say
> > you're
> > > > > > pretty
> > > > > > > > much
> > > > > > > > > bulletproof.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > --- In [email protected], "Ellen"
> > > > > > > > > <ellengoodman6@> wrote:
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > well I've survived this long without any major
> health
> > > > > > problems,
> > > > > > > > so
> > > > > > > > > I
> > > > > > > > > > figure if public restrooms haven't killed me yet
> they
> > > > > > probably
> > > > > > > > > > won't. I think it is like not swimming after
> eating
> > > and
> > > > > all
> > > > > > > > that.
> > > > > > > > > > Epidemics were more common back then.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > --- In
> [email protected], "dvm8375"
> > > > > > > > > > <muellerdana@> wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > My grandmother instilled the FEAR OF THE PUBLIC
> > > TOILET
> > > > > GERM
> > > > > > > in
> > > > > > > > me
> > > > > > > > > > at
> > > > > > > > > > > a very young age, and try as I might, I will
> never
> > > > > overcome
> > > > > > > > it.
> > > > > > > > > I
> > > > > > > > > > > can't even force myself to sit on a toilet at
> work,
> > > > which
> > > > > I
> > > > > > > > know
> > > > > > > > > is
> > > > > > > > > > > very clean. However, what I find odd, is that
I
> > have
> > > > no
> > > > > > > > problem
> > > > > > > > > > > sitting on a hotel toilet seat. Somehow that
> > doesn't
> > > > > seem
> > > > > > > > public
> > > > > > > > > > to
> > > > > > > > > > > me.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > --- In [email protected],
Diane
> > > > Lochner
> > > > > > > > > > > <dlochund@> wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > A friend forwarded it to me...so I have no
idea
> > who
> > > > > wrote
> > > > > > > it
> > > > > > > > or
> > > > > > > > > > > what the original source was. I remember my
> > > > grandmother,
> > > > > I
> > > > > > > was
> > > > > > > > > > > about nine or ten, instructing me in proper
> public
> > > > toilet
> > > > > > > > > > behavior.
> > > > > > > > > > > To this day, the very first thing I do is check
> to
> > > see
> > > > if
> > > > > > > there
> > > > > > > > > is
> > > > > > > > > > > t.p. in the dispenser.
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > Ellen <ellengoodman6@> wrote: where did you
> get
> > > this
> > > > > > > from?
> > > > > > > > I
> > > > > > > > > > > personally was never instructed to use
> > > > > > > > > > > > toilet seat covers and/or hover, so I haven't
> had
> > > the
> > > > > > > extent
> > > > > > > > of
> > > > > > > > > > > this
> > > > > > > > > > > > experience, although lack of hook, lack of
door
> > > lock,
> > > > > and
> > > > > > > > lack
> > > > > > > > > of
> > > > > > > > > > > > toilet paper, as well as automatic flushers
and
> > > > > automatic
> > > > > > > > sinks
> > > > > > > > > > are
> > > > > > > > > > > > constant irritations. I always thought the
> > toilet
> > > > seat
> > > > > > > cover
> > > > > > > > > > > business
> > > > > > > > > > > > was ridiculous--I don't think the part of
your
> > body
> > > > > that
> > > > > > is
> > > > > > > > > > > actually
> > > > > > > > > > > > in contact with the toilet seat is the part
> with
> > > the
> > > > > > > germs.
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > --- In [email protected],
> Diane
> > > > Lochner
> > > > > > > > > > > > <dlochund@> wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Prior Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor
> > Peeing !
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Women's Trip to the Restroom
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Is this true? I think it's just a cover up
> for
> > > why
> > > > u
> > > > > > all
> > > > > > > > take
> > > > > > > > > so
> > > > > > > > > > > > long! New & Revised 6 P's:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > My mother was a fanatic about public
> > bathrooms.
> > > > When
> > > > > I
> > > > > > > was
> > > > > > > > a
> > > > > > > > > > > little
> > > > > > > > > > > > > girl, she'd take me into the stall, teach
me
> to
> > > wad
> > > > > up
> > > > > > > > toilet
> > > > > > > > > > > paper
> > > > > > > > > > > > and
> > > > > > > > > > > > > wipe the seat. Then, she'd carefully lay
> strips
> > > of
> > > > > > toilet
> > > > > > > > > paper
> > > > > > > > > > > to
> > > > > > > > > > > > cover
> > > > > > > > > > > > > the seat. Finally, she'd instruct, "Never,
> > NEVER
> > > > sit
> > > > > on
> > > > > > a
> > > > > > > > > public
> > > > > > > > > > > > toilet
> > > > > > > > > > > > > seat.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Then she'd demonstrate "The Stance," which
> > > > consisted
> > > > > of
> > > > > > > > > > > balancing over
> > > > > > > > > > > > > the toilet in a sitting position without
> > > actually
> > > > > > > letting
> > > > > > > > > any
> > > > > > > > > > > of your
> > > > > > > > > > > > > flesh make contact with the toilet seat.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > By this time, I'd have wet down my leg and
> > we'd
> > > > have
> > > > > > to
> > > > > > > go
> > > > > > > > > > home
> > > > > > > > > > > to
> > > > > > > > > > > > > change my clothes. That was a long time
ago.
> > Even
> > > > > now,
> > > > > > in
> > > > > > > > my
> > > > > > > > > > > more
> > > > > > > > > > > > > "mature years, The Stance" is
excruciatingly
> > > > > difficult
> > > > > > > to
> > > > > > > > > > > > > maintain, especially when one's bladder is
> > full.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > When you have to "go" in a public
bathroom,
> > you
> > > > > > usually
> > > > > > > > find
> > > > > > > > > a
> > > > > > > > > > > line of
> > > > > > > > > > > > > women that makes you think there's a half-
> price
> > > > sale
> > > > > on
> > > > > > > > > Nelly's
> > > > > > > > > > > > > underwear in there. So, you wait and smile
> > > > politely
> > > > > at
> > > > > > > all
> > > > > > > > > the
> > > > > > > > > > > other
> > > > > > > > > > > > > ladies, who are also crossing their legs
and
> > > > smiling
> > > > > > > > > politely.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > You get closer and check for feet under
the
> > > stall
> > > > > > doors.
> > > > > > > > > Every
> > > > > > > > > > > one is
> > > > > > > > > > > > > occupied. Finally, a door opens and you
dash
> > in,
> > > > > nearly
> > > > > > > > > > knocking
> > > > > > > > > > > down
> > > > > > > > > > > > > the woman leaving the stall. You get in to
> > find
> > > > the
> > > > > > door
> > > > > > > > > won't
> > > > > > > > > > > > latch. It
> > > > > > > > > > > > > doesn't matter. The dispenser for the new
> > > > > fangled "seat
> > > > > > > > > covers"
> > > > > > > > > > > > > (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is
> > handy,
> > > > but
> > > > > > > empty.
> > > > > > > > > You
> > > > > > > > > > > would
> > > > > > > > > > > > > hang your purse on the door hook, if there
> was
> > > one,
> > > > > but
> > > > > > > > there
> > > > > > > > > > > isn't
> > > > > > > > > > > > - so
> > > > > > > > > > > > > you carefully but quickly hang it around
> your
> > > neck
> > > > > > (Mom
> > > > > > > > > would
> > > > > > > > > > > turn
> > > > > > > > > > > > over
> > > > > > > > > > > > > in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!),
> yank
> > > > down
> > > > > > your
> > > > > > > > > > pants,
> > > > > > > > > > > and
> > > > > > > > > > > > > assume "The Stance."
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Ahhhh, relief. More relief. But then your
> > thighs
> > > > > begin
> > > > > > to
> > > > > > > > > > shake.
> > > > > > > > > > > You'd
> > > > > > > > > > > > > love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't
> > taken
> > > > time
> > > > > > to
> > > > > > > > wipe
> > > > > > > > > > > the seat
> > > > > > > > > > > > > or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The
> > > Stance"
> > > > > as
> > > > > > > your
> > > > > > > > > > > thighs
> > > > > > > > > > > > > experience a quake that would register an
> eight
> > > on
> > > > > the
> > > > > > > > Richter
> > > > > > > > > > > > scale. To
> > > > > > > > > > > > > take your mind off of your trembling
thighs,
> > you
> > > > > reach
> > > > > > > for
> > > > > > > > > what
> > > > > > > > > > > you
> > > > > > > > > > > > > discover to be the empty toilet paper
> > dispenser.
> > > In
> > > > > > your
> > > > > > > > > mind,
> > > > > > > > > > > you can
> > > > > > > > > > > > > hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if
> you
> > > > would
> > > > > > > have
> > > > > > > > > > tried
> > > > > > > > > > > to
> > > > > > > > > > > > > clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there
> was
> > no
> > > > > > toilet
> > > > > > > > > > paper!"
> > > > > > > > > > > Your
> > > > > > > > > > > > > thighs shake more. You remember the tiny
> tissue
> > > > that
> > > > > > you
> > > > > > > > blew
> > > > > > > > > > > your nose
> > > > > > > > > > > > > on yesterday -the one that's still in your
> > purse.
> > > > > That
> > > > > > > > would
> > > > > > > > > > > have to
> > > > > > > > > > > > do.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > You crumple it in the puffiest way
possible.
> It
> > > is
> > > > > > still
> > > > > > > > > > smaller
> > > > > > > > > > > than
> > > > > > > > > > > > > your thumbnail.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Someone pushes open your stall door
because
> > the
> > > > > latch
> > > > > > > > > doesn't
> > > > > > > > > > > work.
> > > > > > > > > > > > The
> > > > > > > > > > > > > door hits your purse, which is hanging
around
> > > your
> > > > > neck
> > > > > > > in
> > > > > > > > > > front
> > > > > > > > > > > of
> > > > > > > > > > > > your
> > > > > > > > > > > > > chest, and you and your purse topple
> backward
> > > > > against
> > > > > > > the
> > > > > > > > > tank
> > > > > > > > > > > of the
> > > > > > > > > > > > > toilet.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for
the
> > > door,
> > > > > > > dropping
> > > > > > > > > > > your
> > > > > > > > > > > > > precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a
puddle,
> > and
> > > > > > sliding
> > > > > > > > > down,
> > > > > > > > > > > directly
> > > > > > > > > > > > > onto the insidious toilet seat. You bolt
up,
> > > > knowing
> > > > > > all
> > > > > > > > too
> > > > > > > > > > > well that
> > > > > > > > > > > > > it's too late. Your bare bottom has made
> > contact
> > > > with
> > > > > > > every
> > > > > > > > > > > imaginable
> > > > > > > > > > > > > germ and life form on the uncovered seat
> > because
> > > > YOU
> > > > > > > never
> > > > > > > > > laid
> > > > > > > > > > > down
> > > > > > > > > > > > > toilet paper - not that there was any, even
> if
> > > you
> > > > > had
> > > > > > > > taken
> > > > > > > > > > > time to
> > > > > > > > > > > > > try.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > You know that your mother would be utterly
> > > ashamed
> > > > > of
> > > > > > > you
> > > > > > > > if
> > > > > > > > > > > she knew,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > because you're certain that her bare bottom
> > never
> > > > > > touched
> > > > > > > a
> > > > > > > > > > > public
> > > > > > > > > > > > > toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You
> just
> > > > don't
> > > > > > KNOW
> > > > > > > > > what
> > > > > > > > > > > kind of
> > > > > > > > > > > > > diseases you could get."
> > > > > > > > > > > > > By this time, the automatic sensor on the
> back
> > of
> > > > the
> > > > > > > > toilet
> > > > > > > > > is
> > > > > > > > > > > so
> > > > > > > > > > > > > confused that it flushes, sending up a
stream
> > of
> > > > > water
> > > > > > > akin
> > > > > > > > > to
> > > > > > > > > > a
> > > > > > > > > > > > > fountain that suddenly sucks everything
down
> > with
> > > > > such
> > > > > > > > force
> > > > > > > > > > > that you
> > > > > > > > > > > > > grab onto the toilet paper dispenser for
fear
> > of
> > > > > being
> > > > > > > > > dragged
> > > > > > > > > > > off to
> > > > > > > > > > > > > China. At that point, you give up. You're
> > soaked
> > > by
> > > > > the
> > > > > > > > > > splashing
> > > > > > > > > > > > water.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a
gum
> > > > wrapper
> > > > > > you
> > > > > > > > > found
> > > > > > > > > > > in your
> > > > > > > > > > > > > pocket, and then slink out inconspicuously
to
> > the
> > > > > > sinks.
> > > > > > > > You
> > > > > > > > > > > can't
> > > > > > > > > > > > > figure out how to operate the faucets with
> the
> > > > > > automatic
> > > > > > > > > > > sensors, so
> > > > > > > > > > > > you
> > > > > > > > > > > > > wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper
> towel
> > > and
> > > > > > walk
> > > > > > > > past
> > > > > > > > > a
> > > > > > > > > > > line
> > > > > > > > > > > > of
> > > > > > > > > > > > > women, still waiting, cross-legged and, at
> this
> > > > > point,
> > > > > > no
> > > > > > > > > longer
> > > > > > > > > > > > able to
> > > > > > > > > > > > > smile politely.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > One kind soul at the very end of the line
> > points
> > > > out
> > > > > > > that
> > > > > > > > > you
> > > > > > > > > > > are
> > > > > > > > > > > > > trailing a piece of toilet paper on your
shoe
> > as
> > > > long
> > > > > > as
> > > > > > > the
> > > > > > > > > > > > Mississippi
> > > > > > > > > > > > > River! (Where was it when you NEEDED it??)
> You
> > > > yank
> > > > > > the
> > > > > > > > > paper
> > > > > > > > > > > from
> > > > > > > > > > > > your
> > > > > > > > > > > > > shoe, plunk it the woman's hand and tell
her
> > > > > > > warmly, "Here,
> > > > > > > > > you
> > > > > > > > > > > just
> > > > > > > > > > > > > might need this."
> > > > > > > > > > > > > As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has
> since
> > > > > > entered,
> > > > > > > > used
> > > > > > > > > > and
> > > > > > > > > > > > exited
> > > > > > > > > > > > > the men's restroom and read a copy of War
and
> > > Peace
> > > > > > while
> > > > > > > > > > > waiting for
> > > > > > > > > > > > > you. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so
> long,
> > > and
> > > > > why
> > > > > > is
> > > > > > > > > your
> > > > > > > > > > > purse
> > > > > > > > > > > > > hanging around your neck?"
> > > > > > > > > > > > > This is dedicated to women everywhere who
> have
> > > ever
> > > > > had
> > > > > > > to
> > > > > > > > > deal
> > > > > > > > > > > with a
> > > > > > > > > > > > > public restroom (rest??? you've got to be
> > > > kidding!!).
> > > > > > It
> > > > > > > > > > > finally
> > > > > > > > > > > > > explains to the men what really does take
us
> so
> > > > long.
> > > > > > It
> > > > > > > > also
> > > > > > > > > > > answers
> > > > > > > > > > > > > their other commonly asked question about
why
> > > women
> > > > > go
> > > > > > to
> > > > > > > > the
> > > > > > > > > > > restroom
> > > > > > > > > > > > > in pairs. It's so the other woman can hold
> the
> > > > door,
> > > > > > hold
> > > > > > > > > your
> > > > > > > > > > > purse
> > > > > > > > > > > > and
> > > > > > > > > > > > > hand you Kleenex under the door.
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > ---------------------------------
> > > > > > > > > > > > > How low will we go? Check out Yahoo!
> > > Messenger�s
> > > > > low
> > > > > > > PC-
> > > > > > > > to-
> > > > > > > > > > > Phone
> > > > > > > > > > > > call rates.
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > ---------------------------------
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> > > Calls
> > > > > to
> > > > > > > the
> > > > > > > > US
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> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > >
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> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > >
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> > Identity Flag Guessing
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SPONSORED LINKS
| Identity | Flag | Guessing |
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