My uncle just sent me the recipe for his ultimate chocolate cake.  I 
am posting it here because I think you will all enjoy this.  The 
laughter burns off the cake calories.

Bachelor's Cake and Gritty Fudge Frosting
I call this recipe "Bachelor's Cake" because all of the chocolate in 
it should make a positive impression on females of any species.   

Ingredients 
•       2 cups cake flour
•       2 Cups Brown Sugar
•       1 teaspoon baking powder
•       ¾ teaspoon baking soda
•       1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
•       1 ½ cups milk
•       ½ cup corn oil
•       2 tablespoons vanilla extract
•       3 eggs
•       6 squares unsweetened chocolate, melted and cooled

Directions
1.Sift flour, brown sugar, baking powder, baking soda and cocoa 
powder together.
2.One nanosecond of inattention and a sifter full of approximately 4 
cups of combined dry ingredients, flour, brown sugar and cocoa 
powder lands on the kitchen floor in the gap between the kitchen 
counter and the refrigerator.  The turbulence generated by that 
volume of falling powder causes some it to shoot out of the gap and 
blow across the kitchen floor.  
3.(Aggravation sound effects)
4.Your first take is, just leave it.  Who's gonna know?  
5.There is already a precedent for ignoring spills in that no man's 
land between the kitchen counter and the refrigerator since as long 
as you've lived here.   
6.In the event that you decide to clean it up, what would you use?  
A vacuum cleaner, right?  
7.Wrong.  
8.Now your vacuum cleaner is plugged up and does not work.  
9.For future reference, the right answer is, sweep it up with a 
broom and use the vacuum to get the residue left behind from 
sweeping.  
10.Throw vacuum in trash barrel in dramatic gesture of 
aggravation.   
11.Your daughter appeals to your sense of reason.  
12.Retrieve the vacuum cleaner from the trash before garbage pick-up 
day.
13.Dismantle vacuum cleaner and wash the parts in soapy water.  
14.Spread parts on newspaper on kitchen table to dry.  
15.Reassemble.  
16.Throw away leftover light bulb.  A lamp in a vacuum cleaner is of 
questionable value anyway.  Like, you're not going to vacuum the rug 
cuz it's dark?  I think not!
17.Now your vacuum works better than before!  Dismantling your 
vacuum and washing the parts is recommended routine maintenance.  
18.Oh yeah, the cake!
19.In a bowl, combine flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and 
cocoa powder.  Add milk, oil and vanilla.  Beat with an electric 
mixer on low to medium speed till combined.  Add eggs and melted 
chocolate; beat 2 minutes more.
20.Pour batter into 2 greased and floured 8½ x 1½ or 9 x 1½ square 
baking pans.  
21.Bake in a 350 degree oven for 30 to 35 minutes or till a 
toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean.  
22.Return toothpick to box, it's clean.  
23.Cool cakes on wire racks in pans to retain moisture.  Remove 
cakes from the pans when cool.  

- end recipe - 

Frost with "Gritty Fudge Frosting" recipe below.  Cake layers are 
separated by a frosting layer containing juicy apple slices.

Gritty Fudge Frosting
Ingredients 
•       1/2 cups butter or margerine
•       4 ½ Cups Powdered Sugar
•       1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
•       ¼ cup milk
•       1 tablespoons vanilla extract
•       ½ crisp apple, peeled and sliced ¼ inch thick.  


Directions
1.In a bowl, beat butter or margarine till fluffy.  
2.Beat the cocoa powder into the butter.  
3.Gradually add 2 cups of the powdered sugar, beating well.  
4.Slowly beat in the ¼ cup milk and vanilla
5.Slowly beat in the remaining powdered sugar.
6.What remaining powdered sugar???  You've already used up all the 
powdered sugar.  It's gone.
7.How much powdered sugar does the recipe call for?  
8.4 ½ cups???  Oy, that's a lotta powdered sugar!  
9.Should you go back to the store for more powdered sugar?  
10.Aw, forget it, you still have a cup of brown sugar left over from 
the cake.  It'll ruin the texture of the frosting and you're still 
gonna be one cup sugar short but who's gonna know?
11.Just call it "Gritty Frosting."  
12.Slowly beat in the brown sugar.  
13.Beat in additional milk, if needed, to make a spreading 
consistency.
14.Frost top surface of bottom layer of 8½ or 9 inch cake with a 
thick coat of frosting.  Press apple pieces into the frosting.  Turn 
top layer of 8½ or 9 inch cake downside up and frost bottom surface 
of top layer with a thick coat of frosting. Turn top layer right 
side up and press frosted bottom surface into the apple pieces in 
the frosting on the top surface of the bottom layer.  . . .know what 
i mean? 
15.     Frost cake's top and sides. 

- end recipe - 









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