Oh, come on, I'm only in my <mumble> thirties, and I remember those remotes
from when I was a toddler. My parents inherited a big wooden console TV from
my grandparents, and it came with a big honkin' remote with all of two
buttons that stuck up at least an inch and a half, and when you pushed them
all the way down (which took some effort), they made this little "wheeet"
sound that I probably couldn't hear now. I can't be the only one who was
fascinated by those as a child in the seventies or earlier.

-Max H.

On 12/16/06, gina_ellis_ca <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:

Being one, I subscribe to Straight Dope.  Today has a couple of
doozies, one of which you can even try out at home.

Dear Cecil:

I know this is going to sound crazy, but my Slinky (that's the
Original Slinky Walking Spring Toy) has the power to turn on, turn
off, and change channels on our TV set! Shortly after receiving the
Slinky as a birthday gift, I was watching TV and absentmindedly
tumbling the Slinky back and forth in my hands. The TV went off, then
came back on a minute or two later. At first I figured our TV was on
the blink. But when the TV switched itself on the next time I played
with the Slinky the truth dawned. Since then, all our friends and
visitors have experienced firsthand the power of Slinky. We can turn
the TV off and on and change channels. My brother was even able to
adjust the volume. There is no physical contact between the Slinky
and the TV. It works best from a chair about six feet from the set.
Can you explain this? --Karen Schrage, Chicago

Cecil replies:

It's questions like this that give me the strength to go on. To be
sure, I had heard of such things before. But most of the letters were
along the lines of the following: "How come when you hold a chopstick
in your teeth and pluck it, the TV screen shimmies? Nothing else
shimmies." Clearly a case of heavy-metal poisoning, although whether
from cadmium or Aerosmith is hard to say.

Karen's letter, however, was refreshingly rational. We called to
check one vital detail: did the set have an ordinary remote control?
Karen didn't know, but the set was pretty old (it had come with the
apartment), and it might have had one once.

That was all we needed to know. Prior to the early 1980s, most TV
remote controls communicated with the set via ultrasonic sound--
sound too high-pitched for the human ear to hear. Typically these
devices worked by striking a series of metal bars with a tiny hammer.
There was usually an audible click, but the frequencies that actually
did the job were inaudible harmonics. (You acoustics buffs will know
what I'm talking about.) Obviously you don't need a remote control
box to bang metal together, although getting the right frequencies is
a bit hit-and-miss.

A call to the folks at Zenith, which introduced the first ultrasonic
remote control in 1956, confirmed that there had been occasional
reports of kids switching channels by spilling pennies onto the floor
from their piggy banks. We had also heard of people switching on TVs
by jingling their keys. When Karen told us someone had turned her set
on by jingling keys too, we concluded the Slinky was mimicking a long-
lost ultrasonic remote control.

Unfortunately for those of you who were looking forward to a pleasant
evening of experimenting on your own (why stop with Slinkies? why not
anvils and sledgehammers, Caribbean steel drums, or samurai swords?),
ultrasonic remote controls are now obsolete. They've been supplanted
by infrared (invisible light) technology, which is better suited to
conveying the complex digital information needed to operate today's
plethora of TV controls. Nothing fun ever lasts.

WHEN WILL I LEARN?

Dear Cecil:

Recently you put down an anonymous writer who asked, "How come when
you hold a chopstick in your teeth and pluck it, the TV screen
shimmies? Nothing else shimmies." You ascribed the effect to heavy
metal poisoning. Well, Cece, I think you dismissed the question
prematurely, without trying it. This effect does occur and results
from a vibration of the eyes (connected to the tooth bone) at a
frequency near that of the vertical scan rate on the TV, producing a
visible modulation effect of shimmying, speaking vernacularly. The
other objects in the visual field may appear slightly fuzzy, but they
don't shimmer. Chopsticks are fine, but if you want to see the effect
more clearly, vibrate your jaw or head with an electric vibrator
using different speeds while viewing TV. Hope this shakes you. Find
that letter and apologize. --Jim S., Dallas

Dear Jim:

I can't stand it. Every time I rummage through the circular file
looking for a letter exemplifying the depths to which the Teeming
Millions have sunk--believe me, you'd feel the same impulse if you
had this job--I come up with somebody who's tapped into some lost
truth of physics. As a matter of fact, I did try this silly stunt--
once. But not being the kind of guy who believes in doing it with the
shades drawn, I used a well-lit room, which made the effect a lot
less noticeable. Having returned to the (darkened) lab, I find that,
sho 'nuff, the screen does shimmy. To be more precise, it looks as
though it had turned into a jiggling sheet of Jell-O. Very bizarre.
Had we discovered this in the 60s it might have replaced the lava
lamp.

A ripple effect of this sort is characteristic of interference
between two wavefronts, in this case the chopstick- (or spoon- or
crunchy candy-) induced vibration in your skull and the flicker of
the TV. The precise mechanism of this interference I leave to the
grad students to figure out, but it happens all right.

--CECIL ADAMS




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