On Tue, May 5, 2009 at 11:25 AM, geni <[email protected]> wrote:
> 2009/5/5  <[email protected]>:
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: FT2 <[email protected]>
>> To: English Wikipedia <[email protected]>
>> Sent: Tue, 5 May 2009 12:35 am
>> Subject: Re: [WikiEN-l] Twitterpedia will win
>>
>> Redundant text - "the X war was a war" duh :) Try this:
>>
>> "The Peloponnesian War (Ancient Greece, 431-404BC), took place between
>> Athens and its empire, against the Eponymous League led by Sparta. Rock
>> on!">>
>>
>> ---------------------
>> Why do you have to state "Ancient Greece" ?  And remove "The"
>> Also "was" is much shorter than "took place"
>>
>> "Peloponnesian War (431-404BC), Athens and its empire, against the
>> Spartan-led Eponymous League."
>>
>
> "Peloponnesian War (431-404BC), Athens and its empire vs Spartan-led
> Eponymous League."

"Eponymous" could be confusing. Repeating the word Peloponnesian is
less confusing.

Carcharoth

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