On Wed, 2009-12-02 at 01:31 +0000, Thomas Dalton wrote: > 2009/12/2 Michael Peel <em...@mikepeel.net>: > > > > On 30 Nov 2009, at 18:17, Thomas Dalton wrote: > > > >> 2009/11/30 Michael Peel <em...@mikepeel.net>: > >>> Does someone want to start drafting a press release that can be sent > >>> out, then? > >> > >> Ok, here's a first draft: > >> > >> http://uk.wikimedia.org/wiki/Press_releases/Free_online_news > > > > Steve Virgin's just rewritten this - any comments on the latest > > version? The current plan is to send it out tomorrow morning. > > I like most of that rewrite - talking about how social media is > already playing a big role in telling the news is a really good idea. > I've made a few changes, though: I've changed it back to being a > statement (rather than a kind of op-ed) since that how I've seen other > organisations do these kind of press releases. I've been told that > press releases should be ready to just be put straight into a > newspaper (although that isn't likely to happen with this one - it > will get incorporated into a larger story, but the style should be the > same) and no-one would publish an article about what we think, they > would publish one about us saying what we think. I've also rearranged > the first paragraph so it isn't such a run-on sentence (I've been > trying to cut back on my use of commas!). Steve, what do you think? I > have essentially no experience of writing press releases, so I may > have it all wrong!
As you probably saw (I think you're the other person I was edit conflicting with) you need to zap "that" and "the" where not absolutely essential. Not just for PR, but for all news style; give an impression you want to say a huge amount more, but are squeezing the message as much as possible to impart information quickly. Mike, I edited one of the quotes; it should, under no circumstances, go out until you okay that. I disagree about taking out links - most press releases are online now and can (i.e. most do) include inline links. I would have preferred not to touch this, but - for once - I think 4+ years Wikinews experience is useful. ;-) -- Brian McNeil <brian.mcn...@wikinewsie.org>|http://en.wikinews.org/wiki/Brian_McNeil Content of this message in no way represents the opinions or official position of the Wikimedia Foundation or any of its projects. * Problems replying? Forward bounces to bria...@skynet.be to raise with Godaddy Hosting.
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