The bottom line is.... I could install Apache on my tiny little server,
and I could modify .httpd, but if I work for FORD, GMC, Or the US
government, and I have to run IIS.... what can U do to help me out?

Another small note:

nmeans @ TomJobim:  [~] > curl -I ed.gov
HTTP/1.1 302 Found
Date: Thu, 01 Dec 2005 04:32:19 GMT
Server: IBM_HTTP_SERVER/1.3.19.6  Apache/1.3.20 (Unix)
Location: http://www.ed.gov/index.jhtml
Content-Type: text/html; charset=iso-8859-1

And I think you mean .htaccess, not .httpd.

Current rewrite rules do little more than send the end of the URL to WP for processing - there's really no way to make this simpler other than to not use clean URL's. You're going to have to have a rewriter of some sort to make IIS pass on the information WP needs to give the user the requested page. As far as plugins writing things in .htaccess - they shouldn't be. That's an issue for the plugin author to correct.

CHMOD, by its very nature, won't work in a Windows environment. Windows has different ways of setting directory access permissions than Unix/Linux/OS X does, so you're going to have to translate what "chmod 755" means and come to some close approximation of it using Windows' facilities for permissions-setting. PHP's fwrite function will work just fine in a Windows environment so long as the directory it's attempting to write to is permissioned such that the web server can write to it. This issue would be true of something written in ASP as well, so it's not a PHP/Apache-specific issue.

Long story short, you're trying to run a software application on an environment it wasn't initially designed to work on. The WP people may be making great strides in making it better on IIS, but you as the server administrator are going to have to know a heck of a lot about your box and making it whirr to get a non-standard configuration like this to work. The onus lies on you as the server administrator, not WP as the community. We'll do what we can to help you out, but it all boils down to the fact that you're running a non- standard configuration and not many of us are going to have experience with it to even be able to help.

Nick
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