There's NO way I know of for you to know whose "Friends" list you 
may be on. Your Friends list is yours; their Friends list is theirs!

If you are getting "bugged" by someone, you can add them to your 
Ignore User list. While an IM window from them is open, under the 
Contact menu, choose "Contact Options", then "Ignore User" and you 
won't hear from that Yahoo Profile again.

Also, on the main Yahoo Messenger window under the Messenger menu, 
choose "Privacy Options" and de-select the line which allows Yahoo 
to show - on Yahoo webpages - when you are online. You can also if 
you are concerned about your privacy, go to a "My Account" link and 
edit your account preferences to disallow others seeing when you are 
online. Of course you can also choose to log into Messenger 
as "invisible", which is something I almost always do!

(Aside - another sad thing about the newest version of Messenger is 
the loss of the hotlink that allowed you to immediately report an 
abusive or harassing user directly to Yahoo from Messenger. Now it's 
a hassle to do that.)

It used to be on earlier versions of Messenger, you could choose in 
your preferences whether other Messenger users had to specifically 
ask for your permission to add you to their list, but now that is no 
longer in the preferences or at least I can't find that in V 6.xxx. 
I do think you are still asked everytime someone wishes to add you 
by a message which pops up when someone tries to add you.

I hope this is some help, and if I'm wrong about the preferences, I 
hope someone will give us all the correct info!

Larry








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