Dave,
I have had great success in overcoming this problem. I found that I have to ask
myself a few questions:
1. Is the tone I'm feeling "perceived" or intended? (meaning, did they intend
to be harsh, or am I just viewing it that way?)
2. Moods can affect speech, and even internet writings. Could this person have
had a bad day, and wanted to take it out on someone anonymously?
3. A year...6 months...even 1 month from now, will this seem so important?
(most likely, probably not.)
4. Is there any chance of swaying this person's mind with my words? (Most
likely, if one decides to polarize him/her self, it blinds them to alternate
possibilities. So, most likely, no.)
5. There is no way to see facial expressions or body language over the internet
- that's why we use emoticons. Their writing may say one thing...but the body
language you CAN'T see may or may not be hostile. You simply don't know...and I
tend to give them the benefit of the doubt.
I try my best to understand the opposite viewpoint. Not too long ago, I was
having a conversation with a pregnant friend on circumcision. I oppose it, for
many reasons. There were a couple of people who took the opposite stance - and
I had to start asking myself my questions. Very quickly, I came to a
realization - that they (both individuals who were arguing FOR circumcision)
both have sons who are circumcised. They may be afraid of the unknown, and - a
very valid point - they probably didn't want to believe that they would
unintentionally hurt their sons.
So - I said my piece, gave them the science, the facts...and politely bowed out
of the controversy. I realized that there was nothing I could say to change
their minds - the only thing I could do was leave them to come to their own
understanding.
I do also have a saying, that I admit is more easily said than done sometimes:
"Peace on the internet is a click away."
Meaning - all you have to do is click - on the "x" of the browser window for
instance - and you'll find a more peaceful state of mind.
I hope my insights helped you. :)
Peace,
~Audrey
--- In [email protected], "Dave P" <wookielifeday@...> wrote:
>
> I find that I can't stop arguing online about silly things. How do I walk
> away?
>
------------------------------------
Current Book Discussion: any Zen book that you recently have read or are
reading! Talk about it today!Yahoo! Groups Links
<*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Zen_Forum/
<*> Your email settings:
Individual Email | Traditional
<*> To change settings online go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Zen_Forum/join
(Yahoo! ID required)
<*> To change settings via email:
[email protected]
[email protected]
<*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
<*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
