Anthony, I rarely, if ever, get angry. I did feel frustrated, but I had been working all night, and it was 4a when I checked those messages. I resolved it. I recognized some time ago that Mayka has some egocentric and self-esteem issues. I have empathy for those. I think when my husband read some of her words-- he wondered, as did I, if she has had a medical eval from an experienced psychiatrist. (His dad is one, so he has a trained eye on this). Birth trauma, injuries, accidents as well as neuro-chemical imbalances and other organic factors, stronly influence behavior. There could be many causal factors, including being bi-polar or any number of very common conditions. Medication can be very helpful, but often the biggest challenge is breaking through the patient's denial that they need some help. I do have empathy, but I maintain a boundary for insults or or abusive behavior. That is no longer an issue. I appreciate that you have a kind eye on her. We should all have that for everyone. But you find excuses for her behavior, and I do not. But I am saying clearly here that I do wish her well , and every happiness. But I am not alone in recognizing that some medical intervention could dramatically and literally--change her life. I already have a happy and meaningful life. I don't need to be a buddha-- Just the most sincere and authentic me that I can be. With the love of friends, family and my husband-- I'll there. Thanks for your comments, and I hope we will have more zen-relevant discussions in the future here. Enjoy your weekend.. Kristy
--- On Fri, 2/25/11, ED <[email protected]> wrote: From: ED <[email protected]> Subject: [Zen] Re: Can A Buddha Harm Others? To: [email protected] Date: Friday, February 25, 2011, 4:36 PM Anthony, You are not doing too badly yourself in your insight-wisdom! --ED --- In [email protected], Anthony Wu <wuasg@...> wrote: > Kristy, You are a real bodhisatva in loving kindness. I hope you also work on another aspect to avoid anger. Don't take offense. Anthony Anthony & Chris, I remember the first time I visite the Holocaust Museum in D.C. I watched a short film of two Jewish men scheduled for execution. One man said how grateful he was to their captors. The other, shocked at hearing this, asked "Why"? The man replied, "I'm thankful I am not them". I know in my own life, trauma is something that offers a gift. It guides your heart . I have experienced many of the same feelings--and more, as I have had many different types of trauma in my life. I suppose thats why I never use the word "victim", as it is such a powerless state of being. One can choose a response that can help us heal or hurt. Trust was always difficult for me, and I have to say that my husband has helped me the most with this. He never lies to me. Not even "white" lies" that might be for my happiness, like a surprise birthday party. He knows that I would rather have the truth--as he knows the truth to be. Our communication is so tender and kind as a result. I've noticed that we are very thoughtful in what we do say, because we don't want to hurt or hide anything, so we are lovingly respectful to one another as a result. Our friendships are the same, and I am so grateful to have them in my life. Well.. back to work.. Thanks, Kristy
