Kristy, You are a real bodhisatva in loving kindness.
I hope you also work on another aspect to avoid anger. Don't take offense. Anthony --- On Sat, 26/2/11, Kristy McClain <[email protected]> wrote: From: Kristy McClain <[email protected]> Subject: Re: [Zen] Re: Can A Buddha Harm Others? To: [email protected] Date: Saturday, 26 February, 2011, 4:40 AM Anthony & Chris, I remember the first time I visite the Holocaust Museum in D.C. I watched a short film of two Jewish men scheduled for execution. One man said how grateful he was to their captors. The other, shocked at hearing this, asked "Why"? The man replied, "I'm thankful I am not them". I know in my own life, trauma is something that offers a gift. It guides your heart . I have experienced many of the same feelings--and more, as I have had many different types of trauma in my life. I suppose thats why I never use the word "victim", as it is such a powerless state of being. One can choose a response that can help us heal or hurt. Trust was always difficult for me, and I have to say that my husband has helped me the most with this. He never lies to me. Not even "white" lies" that might be for my happiness, like a surprise birthday party. He knows that I would rather have the truth--as he knows the truth to be. Our communication is so tender and kind as a result. I've noticed that we are very thoughtful in what we do say, because we don't want to hurt or hide anything, so we are lovingly respectful to one another as a result. Our friendships are the same, and I am so grateful to have them in my life. Well.. back to work.. Thanks, Kristy --- On Fri, 2/25/11, Anthony Wu <[email protected]> wrote: From: Anthony Wu <[email protected]> Subject: Re: [Zen] Re: Can A Buddha Harm Others? To: [email protected] Date: Friday, February 25, 2011, 12:56 PM Chris, I envy you being able to overcome the mentality of a weak victim. You seem to be right in saying a large number of people have been sexually abused in all kinds of ways. So life is really like riding a hang glider in a storm. However, that is not an answer to the question whether a Buddha will harm others. A Buddha is an ideal person that is incapable of harming living beings. If they do, they are not Buddhas. On the other hand, they can ride a hang glider safely. Anthony --- On Sat, 26/2/11, Chris Austin-Lane <[email protected]> wrote: From: Chris Austin-Lane <[email protected]> Subject: Re: [Zen] Re: Can A Buddha Harm Others? To: [email protected] Date: Saturday, 26 February, 2011, 12:42 AM Wow, what a lot of typing has been taking place! Let me state a few things: 1. Most mail readers can allow you to send all comments from a given email address directly to the trash. I am periodically tempted to do this with some people that irritate me habitually, but of course the great way is easy for those who do not pick and choose. 2. I was raped, or violently sexually abused as a small child, and then threatened with death if I told anyone. It has taken a lot of therapy and some hard work on my own to transform this experience from a severe limitation to just a fact of my past. I cannot really enjoy mushrooms with out nearly choking and feeling tinges of abuse again, but that is generally an avoidable consequence. I am probably a bit more open to the reality of great suffering in the people around me, and I when I am feeling anxious, I find comfort in certain things that are pretty common in survivors, but I no longer believe I am worthless or deserving of mistreatment, which were effects that caused me some great trouble for a long time. The brain given a choice between "great evil exists in the universe and one doesn't have a way to escape it" vs. "I have deserved some great punishment and if I act differently I will be safe" will often skip over the first truth and fix on the false, but reassuring, latter statement. But with a healing environment, love, and determination, recovery is fairly straightforward. And I would not trade places with my abuser for one minute. Violent people, that I've seen, suffer from great blindness to others as well as to them selves. It is a feminist axiom that the people with less power in a given relationship are able to see more of the reality of the relationship clearly than the people with more power. Rape is a horrendous thing, as is the systemic devaluing of the powerless, and the equation of might with right. If you believe the statistics, some large chunk of people in the US at least have been sexually victimized at one point or another. Those people are not all ruined; most of us are productive members of society, chopping wood and carrying water. We may have a curious aversion for or be drawn to dramatic revenge movies, but we are well able to march on in the current moments. 3. There is absolutely no point in imaging what you would do if you were raped or someone you love is raped. That is precisely the sort of self-flagellation in the imaginary world that zen can free us from. Not that I can stop you if you like such a use of your time, but the salvific attitude is a pragmatic one. As far as a "Buddha harming others", I think the correct perspective is that we harm each other all the time. We cannot live without ingesting other living objects. There is no special fully enlightened Buddha chopped out from life and separate from our humanity. Many people harm others believing that it is some how good; many people start out with some idea of the good and then are so attached to that good that when the action goes bad, they do not regroup and find a different way. Many people have brains so twisted that they cannot see clearly enough to be held accountable. If we encounter someone trying to harm those around us, we will act, but indulging in some idle speculation about what a perfect being would do is just speculation. If you must cling to some idea of buddhahood, I recommend Joko Beck's picture of the hapless person on the hang-glider in a giant hurricane; only able to enjoy or fight the ride. The outcome is certain. Live each moment. There is no safety, and no end to the struggle, except for the end of us. Ah well! --Chris
