You are quite welcome. You have been very courteous. Courteous even when I 
offended with my habitual abruptness.

--- In [email protected], "mattmodrow" <fourforsure@...> wrote:
>
> Well, I suppose that makes a lot of sense.  I have become rather "quick" in 
> noticing when I first begin to have a thought, but my practice has always 
> been to return to the present.  I will see what my teacher has to say on this 
> issue of reflective awareness.  Not that I blindly follow whatever my teacher 
> advises, he would not allow me to do that anyway.  But, I deeply respect his 
> advice in the Way.  I would wager a guess that he will say to continue "just 
> coming back," but I do not know for certain until I ask.  Rewrisk, I 
> appreciate the interactions I have had with you thus far on this forum, I 
> feel it is very enriching to learn of various techniques.  Again, thank you 
> for taking the time to reply.
> 
> --- In [email protected], "rewrisk" <rewrisk@> wrote:
> >
> > Interesting.
> > I found that if I could catch the thought as it arose I then knew the 
> > impulse that drove it and this was the begining of the reflective awareness.
> > 
> > --- In [email protected], "mattmodrow" <fourforsure@> wrote:
> > >
> > > Rewrisk, a coincidence indeed, I as well had asthma throughout my 
> > > childhood and teens.  Luckily, that has subsided over the years (no 
> > > thanks to many hair-brained years of cigarettes, which I have only 
> > > recently quit).  But, anyway, my technique.  I do place emphasis on just 
> > > focusing on my breathing, yet I am still obviously very aware of the 
> > > thoughts, ideas, plans, preferences, etc that all come and go as i 
> > > meditate.  Sometimes while I sit Zazen my mind and body are very calm, at 
> > > other times I am anxious and have a very busy mind.  Regardless of what 
> > > mood or state I find my mind and body, I continue to sit until the 
> > > predetermined time has been reached and it is time to get up.  So, while 
> > > I sit, my aim is to just look at the wall and focus on breath.  Then I 
> > > catch myself in thought, my practice is to just return to the present.  
> > > Now, precisely this is what I am working on currently: as I catch myself 
> > > in thought, I try not to think the words "just come back," rather, I am 
> > > trying to become more proficient in just "doing" the "mental action" of 
> > > "just coming back" without thinking it in words.  I have been noticing 
> > > that over the last couple of weeks with some determination I am becoming 
> > > better at this.  I also appreciate and value the this "mirrored 
> > > reflection" ability of awareness, it is very subtle.  To be able to just 
> > > let the thoughts come and go on their own accord without pushing them 
> > > away forcibly or making effort to keep them, this is a practice that i 
> > > feel requires a substantial amount of training.  But, like I said 
> > > earlier, what I am mainly working on right now is trying not to think 
> > > phrases like "just come back," instead to simply... come back.
> > > 
> > > --- In [email protected], "rewrisk" <rewrisk@> wrote:
> > > >
> > > > Matt.
> > > > I was asthmatic as a child and as a young man found attempting to 
> > > > concentrate on my breathing had rather unpleasant consequences.
> > > > I tried many meditative techniques and finally found that simply 
> > > > watching what occured in my mind was most effective. I had heard of 
> > > > reflective meditation and while the suggested technique didn't do it 
> > > > for me the idea of reflection of holding a mirror to my mind, a mirror 
> > > > in which to watch what occurred in it turned out to be very effective 
> > > > and I progressed quite quickly once I learnt to. As I progressed I 
> > > > found myself tempted to interfere with what I saw occuring, this slowed 
> > > > my progress untill I began to realise I was not seeing everything and 
> > > > later as I progressed further the temptation to interfere resulted in 
> > > > unpleasant effects so that I quickly ceased to fall to such temptation. 
> > > > Eventually I found I was able to induce those states that other 
> > > > meditative techniques suggested, through reflective awareness.
> > > > 
> > > > So apart from indulging myself in the above self expression you can see 
> > > > how one technique can lead to another. You say you know from practising 
> > > > meditation on your breath that through it you can also enter a state of 
> > > > mental stillness. So no effort goes without result there is only what 
> > > > you are yet to discover. To me it sounds forced and the force of habit 
> > > > but you must work atleast to some degree with your own nature I do not 
> > > > mean to insult. To myself my technique sounds vain and self indulgent 
> > > > and it is. But has worked for me quite well.
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > --- In [email protected], "mattmodrow" <fourforsure@> wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > 
> > > > > Rewrisk, thank you for your reply.  Your considerate words are 
> > > > > encouraging and wise.  As far as my technique, I am fortunate enough 
> > > > > to live fairly close by to a Zen meditation center of the Soto 
> > > > > lineage.  So, at home and at the center in my Zazen, the only object 
> > > > > of my meditation is the breath.  I have become quite familiar with 
> > > > > several walls and love them dearly. :)  Well, it is actually time to 
> > > > > sit for the night, so again, thank you, and have a pleasant 
> > > > > evening/day.
> > > > > --- In [email protected], "rewrisk" <rewrisk@> wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Yes.
> > > > > > I misread your; 'the "great matter of birth and death."'
> > > > > > I am heartened that you do not believe in reincarnation or life 
> > > > > > after death.
> > > > > > I apologise to you, clearly I mistook my audience.
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > You say 'I should hope I don't ever feel that I have reached a 
> > > > > > "place" in my understanding'. And I am minded that I have found 
> > > > > > many a "place" in my understanding but none I could rest on my 
> > > > > > laurels in. I took rest as I had to and while I may have tried to 
> > > > > > superimpose meaning on that I found meaning despite doing so.
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > If you should wish to discuss meditative technique?
> > > > > > I myself have found a reflective awareness the most usefull.
> > > > > >   
> > > > > > 
> > > > > > --- In [email protected], "mattmodrow" <fourforsure@> wrote:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > With all respect to you, rewisk, you have made a lot of 
> > > > > > > assumptions about me without knowing me.  I do not believe in 
> > > > > > > reincarnation, or life after death.  These are things I cannot 
> > > > > > > know, because I have not died.  And as far as how long it 
> > > > > > > "should" take for a practitioner to "attain" anything, who is to 
> > > > > > > say?  I should hope I don't ever feel that I have reached a 
> > > > > > > "place" in my understanding, I wish to just experience my life in 
> > > > > > > the present moment with the growing of my understanding of 
> > > > > > > Emptiness.
> > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > --- In [email protected], "rewrisk" <rewrisk@> wrote:
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Sorry to have to tell you this Matt but you will not survive 
> > > > > > > > your death.
> > > > > > > > Some people seem to think that life could only be fair if we 
> > > > > > > > are reincarnated but they fail to recognise that if life was 
> > > > > > > > fair you would have to pay for your advantages and not just 
> > > > > > > > your sins. If life is fair then it can't be a gift.
> > > > > > > > Six years huh?
> > > > > > > > It only took me three and less than a year after I got serious 
> > > > > > > > about it. I do not say this to boast only I wonder about you 
> > > > > > > > meditative technique? I suppose if I include the time of my 
> > > > > > > > initial curiosity maybe four or so.
> > > > > > > > I felt great need though, likely this is the difference.
> > > > > > > > Still I would expect any person who regularly practised an 
> > > > > > > > effective form of meditation to atleast have attained a sense 
> > > > > > > > of thier personal illusion.
> > > > > > > > 
> > > > > > > > --- In [email protected], "mattmodrow" <fourforsure@> 
> > > > > > > > wrote:
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > Myself, I do not feel that it is a matter of salvation.  The 
> > > > > > > > > matter, is the "great matter of birth and death."  One of my 
> > > > > > > > > favorite authors, Stephen Batchelor, in his book -Alone with 
> > > > > > > > > others- says that the "aim" is for "the optimum mode of 
> > > > > > > > > being."  To me what this says is, that the aim of life would 
> > > > > > > > > be living in awareness, as you grow and age through the 
> > > > > > > > > years, hopefully you will become wiser.  I recently had 
> > > > > > > > > Dokusan with one of my teachers, and she said that Zen 
> > > > > > > > > practice and enlightenment is kind of like in those old 
> > > > > > > > > cartoons, when someone is about to receive a gift and they 
> > > > > > > > > are told NOT to look.  In the cartoons, we always see them 
> > > > > > > > > peeking with one eye at the gift before it is given to them.  
> > > > > > > > > So, I have been practicing since 2006, I have never had an 
> > > > > > > > > "awakening experience," and that is fine with me.  Zazen has 
> > > > > > > > > taught me many things, and I know not to "peek," or in other 
> > > > > > > > > words,  to conceptualize what I think enlightenment is and 
> > > > > > > > > then strive for it.  Rather, I just live my daily life, 
> > > > > > > > > always, constantly coming back to direct experience.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> >
>




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