A couple years ago, just before I resigned from Zen Desert Sangha after 24
years with that group, and while I was President of the Board, many people
would come to me with complaints.
It was not my job to hear complaints, really, but people freely came to me with
them, especially the newest people to join us, and newcomers. I did what I
could, especially if the complaint was not merely one about relations between
two people, or merely complaints to the effect that "So-and-so chants too
loudly", etc.
One Saturday, a newcomer came to me after the sits and the socializing, and
"complained" to me that he had sat for 20 years with various teachers, and was
still working on the first koan. I told him that I thought that could be GOOD,
in my opinion, and that I had heard of people who stayed with one koan for all
their practice career, even after awakening, if they did not want to pursue
(undertake; undergo) the entire koan curriculum.
Koans like, "Wu", or "Mu", which are really hua-tous, are good ones, in that
case. If you ask "What" is Wu... then it's just the "What...", which never
forms a fully-formed syllable as we ask it. It stops everything and we turn
into a lump of extremely heavy iron for hours. It's "Wh...".
But his complaint was more fundamental.
He "complained" that he had sat for 20 years, and had not had an Awakening.
I kidded him (I thought), and asked him: "Did you ever consider that you might
be part of the Placebo group?"
At that moment, he had GREAT Awakening.
Fortunately, our Roshi was still in the building. They went off to the dokusan
room, and shut the door. Thanks be.
I got out of there as soon as I could.
Zendo was walking-distance from home. I had a good walk!
--Joe
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