mid october post mid night walk
i live in a safe area of the town and walking at this hour is not dangerous
..........................................suspicious, perhaps
if mrs. schmidtt is up and reports a dark shadow leaving our front door but
i could be discreet and leave through the back door not visible
.........................................from the schmidtt's
on the other side kiran had fasted, feasted and fast asleep
it was karva-chauth yesterday and hindu men are lucky
come to think, even the women have it not so bad
they get to do this only once a year unlike our 29-30 fasts each year
and sati is frowned upon and not practiced any more, so we hear
so i ran a list in mind â€" i will change into joggers and a polo top
grab a wind breaker and put on sneakers
reminding myself not to forget the house keys this time
what else would i need? shall i take the lighter?
if i take it then i'll have to take the pouch and the pipe
ah…the pleasure of inhaling the cured leaves at this peaceful hour
............................................out in the open
***
immersed in all kinds of peaceful thoughts clashing cheered me up more
and i reminded myself to put on the baseball cap, it may be windy but
first i had to ease my way out of the embrace and not wake her up
...........................................easier written than done
buoyed by the idea of polluting the fresh air i must have made some noises
'why are you so restless and talking in sleep,' said the fair one
and as the embrace tightened, 'go to sleep, you've work to do in the morning,
'as all shackled men have learned it is not advisable to argue with the tiger
..........................................in their cages, no sir, not at 3.20 a.m.
i said meekly, 'go to sleep dear, am just attending a call of nature'
and dreamt of other dreams folded and ensconced
****
than you Ron:
above you will find the 'fixed' version…( am still learning how to post here)…the poem is very tongue in cheek…kiran and the schmiddts are neighbours…the pun and dark humour if noticed is intended…the direct speech is the narrator's…a buddha he is not!…but now you are firing up my imagination too;)
thanks for your comments and look forward to seeing your poem here
On 11/28/05, ronnie banerjee <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
Is it alright to appreciate a poem by declaring ur incomprehension. I mean limited incomprehension. I thought the last line was cryptic. Is it something to do with the inverted commas?? Are they wrongly placed?? Whose direct speech is it? Does this married man finally go for his midnight pipey-smoky walk or does he continue to sleep in the clasp of his wife (proven good hindu wife by the Karva chauth "vrata"). Is the last line describing him or his wife.I like the pun on nature's call. Is it intended? I mean surely the nature's call here is the desire in the poet to go for a walk out into the open, away from his wife's embrace (clasp-cage-prison???). What is otherwise crude (nature's call) has been rendered into poetry by the use of this pun.Or is it a modern day Gautam Buddha leaving his wife in midnight to find the absolute truth. If thats not the concept in this poem then i hereby reserve it and i shall certainly pen a poem on this beautiful idea- it has a lot of poetic possibilities.Thank u for firing my imagination temp. needed it...Ron
temporal <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:mid october post mid night walk
it is 3:20 am and i want to go out for a walk
i live in a safe area of the town and walking at this hour is not dangerous
..........................................suspicious, perhaps
if mrs. schmidtt is up and reports a dark shadow leaving our front doorbut
i could be discreet and leave through the back door not visible
.........................................from the schmidtt's
on the other side kiran had fasted, feasted and fast asleep
it was karva-chauth yesterday and hindu men are lucky
come to think, even the women have it not so bad
they get to do this only once a year unlike our 29-30 fasts each year
and sati is frowned upon and not practiced any more, so we hear
so i ran a list in mind â€" i will change into joggers and a polo top
grab a wind breaker and put on sneakers
reminding myself not to forget the house keys this time
what else would i need? shall i take the lighter?
if i take it then i'll have to take the pouch and the pipe
ah…the pleasure of inhaling the cured leaves at this peaceful hour
............................................out in the open
***
immersed in all kinds of peaceful thoughts clashing cheered me up more
and i reminded myself to put on the baseball cap, it may be windybut
first i had to ease my way out of the embrace and not wake her up
...........................................easier written than done
buoyed by the idea of polluting the fresh air i must have made some noises
'why are you so restless and talking in sleep,' said the fair one
and as the embrace tightened, 'go to sleep, you've work to do in the morning,
'as all shackled men have learned it is not advisable to argue with the tiger
..........................................in their cages, no sir, not at 3.20 a.m.
i said meekly, 'go to sleep dear, am just attending a call of nature
'and dreamt of other dreams folded and ensconced
____________________________________________________
note: for most readers here who are familair with the two words used please ignore the link...i have included them for my friends here ( T.O.) and elsewhere who have no clue...look forward to your comments
Enjoy this Diwali with Y! India Click here
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