Note: forwarded message attached.
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--- Begin Message ---
Subject: FW: thanks to all spammers! (not your ordinary chain letter)
I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me
your chain letters over the past few years. Yes, thank you, thank you,
thank you from the bottom of what's left of my heart for making me feel
safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
Because of your concern...I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can
remove toilet stains.
I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from the
rat feces and urine.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked
with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water
buffalo on a hot day
I no longer use margarine because it's one molecule away from being
plastic.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al
Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid
number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to Jamaica,
Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant
freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer date the opposite sex because they will take my kidneys and
leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their
recipe.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out
for me and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward
an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. (Geez,
the BIBLE did not mention it works that way!)
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about
to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
I no longer have any mone! y at all, but that will change once I receive
the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in
their special e-mail forwarding tracking program.
Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me!
I will now return the favor.
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60
seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will crap on your head at 5:00 PM this
afternoon and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your armpits.
I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend
of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of my next door
neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's 8th husband's 2nd cousin's 3rd husband's
ex-wife's mother's hair dresser!
Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger.yahoo.com
--- End Message ---
