Time is Relative 

A fellow went to the doctor, who told him that he had a bad illness and only a 
year to live. So the fellow decided to talk to his pastor. After the man 
explained his situation, he asked his Pastor if there was anything he could do. 

"What you should do is go out and buy a late 70's or early 80's model Dodge 
Pickup," said the Pastor. "Then go get married to the meanest woman you can 
find, and buy yourselves an old trailer house in the panhandle of Oklahoma." 

The fellow asked, "Will this help me live longer?" "No," said the pastor, "but 
it will make what time you do have seem like forever." 

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