A Cowboy sitting in a saloon one Saturday night recognized an elderly man
standing at the bar who, in his day, had the reputation of being the fastest
gun
in the West.
The
young cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, bought him a drink and told
him
the story of his great ambition.
'Do
you think you could give me some tips?' he asked.
The old man looked him up and down and said,
'Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high, tie the holster a
little
lower down on your leg.'
'Will
that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man.
'Sure will,'replied the old-timer.
The young man did as he was told, stood up,
whipped out his 44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player.
'That's terrific!' said the hot shot. 'Got
any more tips for me?'
'Yep,' said the old man. 'Cut a notch out of your holster where the
hammer hits it, that'll give you a smoother draw'
'Will
that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the younger man.
'You bet it will,' said the old-timer.
The young man took out his knife, cut the notch,
stood up, drew his gun in a blur, and then shot a cufflink off the piano
player.
'Wow!' exclaimed the cowboy 'I'm learnin' somethin' here. Got any
more tips?'
The
old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. 'See that axle
grease over there? Coat your gun with it.'
The
young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease on the barrel of
his gun.
'No,'
said the old-timer, 'I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all.'
'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked
the young man.
'No,'
said the old-timer, 'but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he's
gonna
shove that gun up your ass, and it won't hurt as much.
