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STUPIDITY VIRUS SPREADS OUT-OF-CONTROL June 4, 2004 Folks, this Stupidity Virus running rampant through our government schools is reaching epidemic proportions. Two new incidents were discovered this morning...one in John Kerry’s Massachusetts and the other in Bill Clinton’s Arkansas. Go figure. You might want to take your blood-pressure medicine before reading these… KILLER CUPCAKES: “Students celebrating their birthdays this fall at the Chandler School in Duxbury (MA) can expect their classmates to sing ‘Happy Birthday,’ but cupcakes are out of the question,” reports the Boston Globe this morning (http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2004/06/04/in_obesity_fight_school_bans_birthday_cupcakes/). “Concerned that the children are eating too much junk food, the Chandler School Council and the Parent Teacher Association are forbidding parents from bringing sweets to their child's classroom birthday party.” A government school “forbidding” CUPCAKES? What the hell is going on here? This is INSANE! “ ’We love birthdays, but we decided to shift the focus onto the child and not the food,’ said principal Deborah Zetterberg, who is also cochairwoman of the school council. ‘What we proposed was to have a birthday package, as we're calling it.’ The package includes a special birthday chair cover that will be placed on the back of the student's chair, Zetterberg said. The birthday boy or girl can also wear a sash. They get a special pencil and a sticker with the school's mascot, the Happy Dragon, she said. Preschool and kindergarten students also get to wear a birthday crown, she said.” Waahooo! A chair cover, a sash, a sticker and a pencil? That sounds SOOOOO much better than singing “Happy Birthday,” making a wish and blowing out the candles. Good grief. “A letter was sent home to parents this week alerting them to the sweets ban. . . . Traditionally, parents bring in treats for an entire class when it is their child's birthday, Zetterberg said. But a new practice will begin in September when parents will no longer be allowed to bring in sweets, she said.” “No longer be allowed to bring in sweets”? Will parents be given a “time out” or be put in the corner? How many years of college does it take to attain such a level of non-intelligence? How do these people become PRINCIPALS of schools? Here’s the contact information: Principal Deborah Zetterberg [EMAIL PROTECTED] (781) 934-7680 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - GRADE INFLATION: “To combat childhood obesity,” reports Fox News this morning (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,121735,00.html), “every Arkansas public school student this month will be receiving two report cards in the mail: one assessing them on math, science and social studies, and the other grading them on their weight.” Margo Bushmiaer, health services nanny for the Little Rock School District says, “We're going to know how many are overweight, how many are underweight, how many are normal weight." How lovely. Parents can expect their government-issued report card on whether or not their kid is a “fatty” by as early as next week. Yeah, this ought to be GREAT for kids’ self-esteem, huh? In fact, while the stupidity of such a measure is lost on government school functionaries, at least parents - who generally don’t possess the education degrees of our government school educators - immediately recognized the huge problem with this boneheaded move. “There are some children that probably will be teased with other children knowing how much they weigh and starting to make fun of them," said Karen Phelps, the parent of a fourth grader. Fox News notes that, “There is also concern that the weight-oriented report cards may cause an epidemic of anorexia and bulimia among older students.” No problemo, though. “The school district says it will now be on the lookout for those health problems.” Wonderful. The school morons who came up with this original moronic idea are going to be looking out for a new potential problem which they can address with a new moronic solution. Oh, we feel MUCH better now. Contact information: Margo Bushmiaer [EMAIL PROTECTED] (501) 447-7480 Apparently, the school district is operating without a permanent superintendent at present time, which may explain why it appears the inmates are running the asylum. So you might also want to contact school board President Tony Rose and suggest that some immediate adult supervision of the school district health nanny may be in order...or just copy him on any notes you send to Herr Bushmiaer. His email address is: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Chuck Muth President Citizen Outreach [EMAIL PROTECTED]
