I realize that this might be entirely idiosyncratic, but might I
suggest that people refer to each other by first name (if you know the
person well), or by honorific and last name (such as Ms. X or Prof. Y),
rather than simply by last name?
I have the tentative sense that such references by last name to
fellow participants in a conversation may come across as more brusque
than the speaker might have intended. I realize that this isn't always
so; among other things, it's not uncommon to so refer to other scholars
in articles ("Tribe says X, but Dershowitz thinks Y"). But my sense is
that this sounds different, and a bit harsher, in a conversation. On a
conference panel, for instance, I'd probably refer to my fellow
panelists either by first name or honorific-plus-last-name; if that is
the norm, it might be helpful to follow it also in on-list discussions.
At the same time, I stress again that this is offered just as a
tentative suggestion.
Eugene
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