LI Thursday's Jokes
Sue Hartigan [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: The Top 15 Differences if the Special Prosecutor were RINGO Starr 15 All charges dropped after grand jury concludes, "She loves you, and you know that can't be bad." 14 Courthouse overflowing with shrieking 50-something women with heavy eyeliner and cat glasses. 13 Finally, someone the President can share a bong with. 12 Years on the case and $40 million down the drain, and he still can't prove whether Paul is dead. 11 He gets by with a little help from his sleazeball scum-sucking ambulance-chasing lawyer friends. 10 Calling for order involves an elaborate "gavel solo." 9 If you play Linda Tripp's tapes backwards, you hear, "I buried Vince Foster." 8 Pete Best shows up on every Sunday morning talk show whining about how he could do a better job. 7 Nobody seems to want to listen to the secret recordings made by Yoko. 6 Hillary dismisses the accusations as part of a "vast Blue Meanie conspiracy." 5 Sexual harassment and adultery: Who cares? Playing Fleetwood Mac at Democratic convention: Impeach him! 4 Linda Tripp suddenly ceases to be the butt-ugliest person involved in the scandal. 3 Ringo Starr: "Ludwig" refers to brand of drums. Ken Starr: "Ludwig" refers to business trip to Berlin a few years ago, the memory of which causes frequent nightmares about his *own* past being investigated. 2 Giggles uncontrollably whenever he hears Kathleen Willey's last name. and the Number 1 Difference if the Special Prosecutor were RINGO Starr... 1 No difference whatsoever -- They're both trying to get the public to buy tapes that suck. -- V A R I A T I O N S O N M U R P H Y ' S L A W 1. The Law of Common Sense Never accept a drink from a urologist. 2. The Law of Reality Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose. 3. The Law of Self Sacrifice When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last. 4. The Law of Volunteering If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead. 5. The Law of Avoiding Oversell When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse. 6. The Law of Motivation Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster. 7. Boob's Law You always find something in the last place you look. 8. Weiler's Law Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. 9. Law of Probable Dispersal Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. 10. Law of Volunteer Labour People are always available for work in the past tense. 11. Conway's Law In any organisation there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired. 12. Iron Law of Distribution Them that has, gets. 13. Law of Cybernetic Entomology There is always one more bug. 14. Law of Drunkenness You can't fall off the floor. 15. Heller's Law The first myth of management is that it exists. 16. Osborne's Law Variables won't; constants aren't. 17. Main's Law For every action there is an equal and opposite government programme. 18. Weinberg's Second Law If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programmes, then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilisation. --- A Brooklyn lawyer named Ernie successfully defends a major crime lord from charges of dealing drugs, racketeering, murder, kidnapping, and selling arms. As he is leaving the courtroom, an indignant old woman grabs him by the arm. "Young man, where are your scruples? Isnt there anyone too low for you to defend?" "I dont know," Ernie says, "What have you done?" --- Two cannibals catch a victim, and agree to share. They start to "chow down" and the first turns to the second. "Hey, how you doing?" "Man, I'm having a ball!" "Slow down! You're eating too fast!" -- Twin brothers were named Joe and John, Joe was the owner of an old dilapidated boat. It happened that John's wife died the same day that Joe's boat sank. A few days later a kindly old lady met Joe on the street mistaking him for John, she said to him, "I'm sorry for your loss, you must feel terrible". Joe said, "Oh hell no, face is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning, her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like dead fish. She was always losing water, had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front which got bigger every time I used her. She leaked like crazy and it was difficult to keep her upright. But what really finished her off was when four tough guys rented her for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't any good, but they all wanted to have a go with her anyhow. The damn fools all tried to get on her at the same time and it was just too much for the old girl, while they were trying to get into their various positions she split up the
LI Abdela: Case update
Kathy E [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: Fifteen-year-old Daphne Abdela has been sentenced to 3 1/3 to 10 years in jail for the slaying and gutting of a middle-age man in New York's Central Park last May. Abdela pleaded guilty last month to first-degree manslaughter in Manhattan state Supreme Court. Her lawyer said then that Abdela would not cooperate with prosecutors or testify against her boyfriend, Christopher Vasquez, who she blamed for the attack during police interviews. Abdela told police Vasquez was high on the hallucinogen LSD and flew into a jealous rage when 42-year-old Michael McMorrow put his arm around her on May 23, 1997, as the three of them were drinking in the park late at night. Prosecutors say 15-year-old Vasquez stabbed the older man 30 times in his neck, face and chest. The teens then allegedly pushed the corpse into the park's lake after slicing open the stomach so it would sink. Moments before hearing her fate today, she cried and told the packed courtroom, ``This is a hard mistake that I am paying dearly for, not only by this sentencing, but also with flashbacks, memories and my conscience.'' She added: ``It won't be easy waking up every day behind bars. Hopefully, it will make me a better person.'' Judge Michael Corriero replied: ``Apparently you have a grasp of the enormity of what you did. You must learn to take the energy that produces that anger to control it and tame it and live life for two people -- yourself and the life you took. You must learn to tame it twice as much and forgive twice as much.'' Abdela's parents sat stone-faced during the proceeding. McMorrrow's mother, sisters, brother and nephew were also present. -- Kathy E "I can only please one person a day, today is NOT your day, and tomorrow isn't looking too good for you either" http://members.delphi.com/kathylaw/ Law Issues Mailing List http://pw1.netcom.com/~kathye/rodeo.html - Cowboy Histories http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Lobby/2990/law.htm Crime photo's Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
Re: LI Supreme Court-Polygraphs/additional info
[EMAIL PROTECTED] (William J. Foristal) writes: On Thu, 02 Apr 1998 18:12:08 -0600 Jackie Fellows [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: Jackie Fellows [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: William J. Foristal wrote: Hi Jackie, You are 100% correct. Even Judge Stevens in his dissenting opinion did not offer any statements about the validity of the lie detector results. His concern was in denying a defendant the right to present all evidence that a jury may deem to be exculpatory. NONE of the justices bought the rigged results of the study cited in the amicus brief that suggested a lie detector test produced results that were correct in excess of 90% of the time. In fact, not many people discussing this issue bought this information. Bill But Bill It is the study by Iacono and Rykken that is fraudulent, because it did not support the Honts' study that found 90%. VBG. It is called "Hello, Wall." jackief Hi Jackie, LOL...sometimes the only really suitable reply is "Well, duh!" BG Bill _ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
LI Re: Another Victim of the VRWC
[EMAIL PROTECTED] (William J. Foristal) writes: Hi Jackie, Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I believe that was the sound of another slam dunk I just heard. :) Bill On Fri, 03 Apr 1998 04:23:24 -0600 Jackie Fellows [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: Jackie Fellows [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: Poor Terry I bet it is hard to be the correct interpreter of the legal decision reached by Judge Wright. I wonder why the majority of legal experts, both Republican and Democrat, agree that based on the evidence presented by her legal beagles, Paula did not have a case. Wright did not define sexual harassment, it was already defined in the law and she followed the law. Of course, perhaps, one reason you are having problems in seeing the forest for the trees is that you are not reading the criteria that Wright had to use in making her decision. The part that led to the decision was the failure to provide evidence that she suffered more than a reasonable person can expect. There are two parts to the law her attornies filed under that must meet the standards. The act and the consequences of the act. In this case, she did not meet the standards set out in law regarding the consequences of Bill's alleged act.Wright has to follow the legal definition of sexual harrassment, not the definition that you or others decide is the accurate decision. If you know anything about law then you know that. In this case, IMO, Wright was following the 'letter of the law,' which she was correct in doing. jackief [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: Oh Jackie, Judge Wright decided such things were not sexual harassment. She did not decide on the merits of the evidence regarding Jones' description of Clinton's conduct. Judge Wright decided much more flagrant behaviour by Clinton as presumed true by the requirements of the summary judgment was not "outrageous" If the representative had had the same ruling he would have not had to face removal from office and criminal prosecution. If he had the same supporters Clinton has his approval would have soared and he might have planned a bright future. Best, Terry "Lawyer - one trained to circumvent the law" - The Devil's Dictionary Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues -- In the sociology room the children learn that even dreams are colored by your perspective I toss and turn all night.Theresa Burns, "The Sociology Room" Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues _ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
LI COTD: Tuggle, Debra Sue
Kathy E [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: A former mental patient in Little Rock, Arkansas, Tuggle was arrested in March 1984 and charged with murdering four of her own children over the past decade. The first two victims -- sons Thomas Bates, age two, and William Henry, 21 months -- were suffocated at different times in 1974. Another son, nine-month-old Ronald Johnson, suffered a similar fate in 1976, while two-year-old Tomekia Paxton, the daughter of Tuggle's boyfriend, was deliberately drowned in 1982. Held on $750,000 bond pending trial and ultimate conviction on the outstanding murder counts, Tuggle was also suspected -- but never charged -- in the death of a fifth child. Coroner Steve Nawoiczyk told newsmen that a faulty legal system had permitted Tuggle to remain at large for years, escaping prosecution in the string of homicides that claimed her children's lives. No motive was presented in the case. Tuggle was convicted on one count of second-degree murder in September 1984 and sentenced to ten years in prison. The three other counts of murder were dismissed by the court on grounds of insufficient physical evidence, while state law barred introduction of her standing conviction to prove a series of pattern crimes. -- Kathy E "I can only please one person a day, today is NOT your day, and tomorrow isn't looking too good for you either" http://members.delphi.com/kathylaw/ Law Issues Mailing List http://pw1.netcom.com/~kathye/rodeo.html - Cowboy Histories http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Lobby/2990/law.htm Crime photo's Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
Re: LI Re: Another Victim of the VRWC
Jackie Fellows [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: Hi Bill Or is it that an N of 1 suffices for evidence in all cases? Excuse me, an N of 2. jackief William J. Foristal wrote: [EMAIL PROTECTED] (William J. Foristal) writes: Hi Jackie, Sometimes the air only SEEMS to smell better to people because they have gotten used to the stench. BG And, of course, the smell of ANY air not like their own tends to make the real smellers nervous. Bill Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
Re: LI Annual Internet cleaning
Jackie Fellows [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: Hi Bill Yes, Catholic school will do that for some people, won't it. I cannot figure out how the Jesuits made it through history. I had the nuns of St. Joseph for both grade and high school and they were bearcats. But, I still think fondly of some of them and don't regret most of my education from them jackief William J. Foristal wrote: [EMAIL PROTECTED] (William J. Foristal) writes: Hi Jackie, Actually I think that trait has been around a long time. It is incredible what some people will do simply to get positive feedback or follow instructions from someone who is or has the appearance of being an authority figure. Of course, having gone to a Catholic grade and high school, I may simply be sensitized to this trait. :) Bill On Thu, 02 Apr 1998 18:15:42 -0600 Jackie Fellows [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: Jackie Fellows [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: Jeez, Bill The article I read is starting to sound more and more like it is really on the mark. The authors claim we are becoming mindless and simply don't give anything thought to things before we do them. jackief William J. Foristal wrote: [EMAIL PROTECTED] (William J. Foristal) writes: HI Jackie, The place where I used to work had a PA system. A co-worker pulled a prank that he thought would simply be greeted with chuckles. (This was not on April 1, however) He dialed the PA system and announced: "Attention all employees. GTE has just informed us that they will be cleaning out the phone lines at 9am this morning. A short burst of compressed air will be sent through the lines to blow out all the accumulated dust. To avoid getting dust on yourself or your desk please remove the hand set from your phone and place it inside an inter office envelope. Do this at 8:58am. You will be notified when it is safe to replace your hand set." He made the announcement about 8:30am and then forgot about it. Around 9:10am he walked through the word processing department and EVERY one of the phones had the handset sitting there inside the envelope. LOL...a quick survey that day showed that many others had fallen for the prank also. I was feeling lucky that I was sitting in his office when he made the announcement. Bill On Wed, 01 Apr 1998 17:37:00 -0600 Jackie Fellows [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: Jackie Fellows [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: Hi Kathy I got that message about 2 months ago, so I recognized it and started laughing as soon as I saw it. jackief _ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues -- In the sociology room the children learn that even dreams are colored by your perspective I toss and turn all night.Theresa Burns, "The Sociology Room" Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues _ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues -- In the sociology room the children learn that even dreams are colored by your perspective I toss and turn all night.Theresa Burns, "The Sociology Room" Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
LI Starr Still Around
"Ronald Helm" [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: Starr Urged To Indict Lewinsky Clinton would become unindicted co-conspirator WASHINGTON (AllPolitics, April 3) -- The office of Independent Counsel Ken Starr is considering seeking an indictment against Monica Lewinsky for perjury, and naming President Bill Clinton as an unindicted co-conspirator, according to two sources familiar with Starr's investigation. The option has been considered, and researched, since the early days of the Clinton-Lewinsky probe, but the sources say this week's dismissal of the Paula Jones sexual harassment lawsuit has intensified debate over it. Starr's office is investigating whether Clinton and Lewinsky had an affair, and, if so, whether Clinton asked the former White House intern to lie about it under oath to Jones' attorneys. When asked at a news conference Friday morning about the reports of a possible indictment, Clinton said, "On the other matter, you know ... I'm not going to comment on that." "I'm going on with my business. Others can comment on that," said the president. Some of the more aggressive prosecutors in Starr's office are encouraging Starr to indict Lewinsky and name Clinton as an unindicted co-conspirator, the sources said. Under this scenario, Starr would seek an indictment of Lewinsky for perjury and subornation of perjury for her alleged efforts to get co-worker Linda Tripp to lie under oath to Jones' attorneys. The indictment would also name others "known to the grand jury" who allegedly participated in the scheme, the sources said. This unindicted co-conspirator option has been considered and researched since early in the Whitewater investigation and is labeled "the Nixon approach" by one of its advocates. But one source stressed this is just one of many options. and said Starr could air his case publicly by indicting Lewinsky without naming the president in the charges. This source said Justice Department rules for naming unindicted co-conspirators were tightened because of criticism Watergate prosecutors received for using the tactic against President Richard Nixon. Said this source: "The evidence against him would have to be cold, without cracks. Otherwise, it is risky both politically and legally." This source said prosecutors in Starr's office were "surprisingly unconcerned" about the dismissal of the Paula Jones case although they acknowledge "a tougher public relations climate now for at least the short term." And the source forcefully defended the office's decision to subpoena records of Lewinsky's book purchases. Said the source: "Judge Starr is well aware of what Monica Lewinsky reads - her apartment was thoroughly searched. The records are necessary to corroborate dates of purchases and alleged gifts - not to get her reading list." Lawyers await ruling on immunity agreement One potential barrier is the debate over whether Lewinsky has a binding immunity agreement with the Office of the Independent Counsel, as her attorney contends. One of the sources said no prosecutorial decisions can be made until the judge rules on that dispute. Another source, an attorney consulted for research on the issue, said indicting Lewinsky would give Starr an opportunity to publicly air his evidence against Clinton and others. The risk, this source acknowledged, would be a potential public backlash against Starr for indicting the former White House intern on allegations that stem from Jones' now-dismissed civil case. But Starr indicated Thursday he would not allow the Jones case ruling to affect his decisions. He explained that the scope of his office's Lewinsky probe is "very different." In any event, the sources said no decision on such major strategic approaches was imminent, citing the looming Lewinsky-immunity ruling and continued failure to reach an agreement for the president to give his version of events. In a decision related to the immunity ruling, handed down this week, Chief U.S. District Judge Norma Halloway Johnson ruled that Lewinsky's first attorney must testify before Starr's grand jury about conversations he had with Lewinsky, the Washington Post reported Friday. Sources told the Post that Johnson concluded that attorney-client privilege did not apply to attorney Francis D. Carter, because evidence suggests Lewinsky intended to commit a crime when she hired him. Lewinsky retained Carter to help her draft her January 7 affidavit for Jones' lawyers, in which she denied having a sexual relationship with Clinton, the Post said. Correspondents John King and Bob Franken contributed to this report. Women have their faults. Men have only two. Everything they say. Everything they do. [EMAIL PROTECTED] Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
LI Juvenile Records (was biased)
DocCec [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: In a message dated 98-04-03 17:19:50 EST, you write: It appears that we have a local controversy regarding whether the making public of preadjudication records of a juvenile are against the law. The judge was on this morning discussing this because of the release of juvenile records to the local tv station that they traced to Mitchell, the 13 year old in Arkansas. I was sort of waiting for this to happen as this has been discussed among some of us since the story broke on tv. Don't know if any other area has heard about this. jackief I wondered about that when we started hearing/reading all the background on him, but thought perhaps different states had different laws. Who released the records, do you know, and did they just give them to the tv station or what? Doc Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
Re: LI RE: HELP--NEED AN OLD POST
Kathy E [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: Hi Jackie and All :) Okay I have been trying out this service for the past couple of weeks, to see if I like it or not, plus it's free :) To look up any old posting from the Law list just go here: (still not sure if I'm going to keep this service or not though). http:[EMAIL PROTECTED]/index.html Jackie Fellows wrote: Jackie Fellows [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: Hi gang The phantom, Ed, has been at it again. I just heard from Dr. Iacono about the polygraph stuff and he has no idea about refusing to turn over data and the claim that his survey was fraudulent. He asked me for details and I do not have the post with the footnote information or the post with the address. (Thank you Ed). And the file I saved is gibberish, only symbols. So if anyone can help me I would appreciate it. I posted Dr. Iacono that I would forward this info. to him if anyone on the list still had it. I know this is a dead topic, but it is rather nice when someone as well known as he is takes the time to write back. -- Kathy E "I can only please one person a day, today is NOT your day, and tomorrow isn't looking too good for you either" http://members.delphi.com/kathylaw/ Law Issues Mailing List http://pw1.netcom.com/~kathye/rodeo.html - Cowboy Histories http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Lobby/2990/law.htm Crime photo's Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
Re: LI Re Guns, guns and more guns.
Sue Hartigan [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: Hi Bill: The law here is that if you own a gun and a kid gets a hold of that gun and either hurts himself or someone else with it, you are held liable. But if your gun is stolen, I don't think that they hold you liable for any crimes that are committed with it. I don't see how they could unless may it would be because you may have had that gun illegally, such as not registered or something. Or maybe not reported it stolen. Sue Hi Jackie, Yeah, we have people getting injured and killed via gunshots down here and it always seems to be someone who would never touch the gun or who had gone through such an intensive training and safety course that they'd never have an accident. Then we have those brilliant people who don't lock up their guns and manage to get them stolen. There's a Catch 22 for you. How can you protect yourself with a gun if you have to keep it locked up? G A senator from Illinois is presenting a bill that would create a law to punish gun owners whose guns are stolen and then used in a crime, or whose guns are involved in an accidental shooting. Of course, the NRA opposes this. Bill -- Two rules in life: 1. Don't tell people everything you know. 2. Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
Re: LI Biased Judge Forgives Clinton
Sue Hartigan [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: Hi Jackie: They were talking last night about how these kids would only spend x number of years in custody, and then they would be released as well as their records sealed. Their faces have been on Newsweek, Time, etc. There is absolutely no secret of who they are. The prior record of the one boy has been discussed in detail on many of the news shows, and the parents and grandparents are making the rounds of the morning talk shows. I don't know how any of this was made public in the beginning, but everyone from the grandfather on down are now discussing it quite openly with anyone who will listen. Sue Hi Bill What a novel idea, work to get the law changed VBG. I agree with you, but then working to change a law may not be as much fun as sitting and bad mouthing a judge that doesn't do what you consider to be right. Another topic: Had to share this with you. Didn't get a chance to post it early this morning. It appears that we have a local controversy regarding whether the making public of preadjudication records of a juvenile are against the law. The judge was on this morning discussing this because of the release of juvenile records to the local tv station that they traced to Mitchell, the 13 year old in Arkansas. I was sort of waiting for this to happen as this has been discussed among some of us since the story broke on tv. Don't know if any other area has heard about this. jackief -- Two rules in life: 1. Don't tell people everything you know. 2. Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
