Sounds like an unnecessary waste of paper and a way of making the cabeceo seem
more exotic than it really is. Why doesn't the woman just tell the man after
the tanda? The good leaders will also tell you that it's often the women who
need to be handed the cards. I suppose she could always put the card down her
bra.
If a man asks me to dance before the music starts, I just say "let's see what
the music is", and then we'll decide together. I've never had a man repeat the
same mistake when asking me to dance at another time. The trick is not to make
him think that it's his dancing or that he's not good enough.
Chances are the good leaders and followers in a community already know about
the cabeceo and use it in addition to asking. I don't think it would be right
to ask them to use it exclusively because these good dancers are usually the
community's teachers/organizers who typically do a lot of socializing with
someone before asking them to dance. It's not realistic to have them suddenly
start nodding their heads toward the dance floor instead of just simply
asking. Rather than giving these folks a card, I'd suggest playfully nodding
heads/making eyes at them or some exaggeration to let them know that the next
time you're asked, you'd appreciate a cabeceo.
The cabeceo usually starts between friends and it grows from there.
Trini de Pittsburgh
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