ya udah, kawin ajah :p udah cukup umur kan ? bisa memutuskan sendiri gimana baiknya.
yang penting sih pedekate sama ortu. tapi kalo susah, ya gimana lagi ? :p On Tue, Jan 6, 2009 at 7:22 PM, Khatijatul Munawaroh Muna < muna_swee...@yahoo.co.id> wrote: > Assalamu'alaikum > > saya mau share ya, klo memang dari pihak c cwe ibunya gak setuju anak > perempuannya menikah muda karena khawatir dll. sedang c anak cewe ini tetap > ingin menikah karena lebih ingin menjaga dirinya dll. bapaknya sdh setuju > hanya ibunya yang belum setuju. Itu solusinya gimana ya ? sedangkan c kk cwe > itu pun kurang setuju klo adiknya menikah muda, ya walau kk cewe itu sendiri > pun menikah diusia muda tapi kkondisinya saat itu adalah suaminya kuliyah di > madinah jadi ya jarang ketemu. sedangkan adiknya ini yang cwe masih belum > kuliyah karena biaya dan cwe itupun sekarang kerja..padahal cwe ini sempat > ada beberapa yang memintanya untuk dijadikan istri tapi dia tidak mau karena > dibenaknya dia hanya ingin sukses menjadi wanita karir, membahagiakan orang > tuanya, karene memang dia andalan keluarganya. Tapi ntah kenapa ketika ada > yang memintanya lagi dia mau untuk menikah. Tapi saat ini c cwe ini masih > bingung, karena ibunya lum juga mengijinkan untuk menikah... > tolong solusinya ya... ~_^ > > syukran ya > > Wassalamu'alaikum > > Khatijatul Munarawah ( Nawa ) > > ________________________________ > Dari: L.Meilany <wpamu...@centrin.net.id <wpamungk%40centrin.net.id>> > Kepada: wanita-muslimah@yahoogroups.com<wanita-muslimah%40yahoogroups.com> > Terkirim: Selasa, 6 Januari, 2009 13:53:33 > Topik: Re: [wanita-muslimah] Perjodohan Anak dan Perang Pemikiran > > Kata hadith : Walau dinikahkan walinya seorang gadis boleh menolak [HR > Ahmad, Abu Dawud, Ibnu Majah & Daruqutni] > Kemudian juga menikahkan anak yatim harus dengan persetujuannya [HR > Ash-habus Sunan] > Begitu juga janda lebih berhak atas dirinya daripada walinya [HR Daruqutni] > > Jadi kan sebenarnya 'budaya' kawin paksa itu gak ada di khasanah Islam. > Kawin paksa, dll yg sifatnya kekerasan mungkin ada karena budaya setempat, > bukan Islam punya. > > Salam, > l.meilany > ----- Original Message ----- > From: Dwi Soegardi > To: wanita-muslimah@yahoogroups.com <wanita-muslimah%40yahoogroups.com> > Sent: Monday, January 05, 2009 7:24 AM > Subject: Re: [wanita-muslimah] Perjodohan Anak dan Perang Pemikiran > > Soal "kawin paksa, propaganda HAM, dan pemasungan" gadis Bangladesh > ada ulasan lain di situs altmuslim.com, reportase wartawan Bangladesh, > berikut ini. > > Sampai dengan latar belakang -pemanggilan pulang, dan kawin paksa- > eramuslim dan altmuslim banyak kesamaan, > namun eramuslim tidak melaporkan soal pemasungan (dan penganiayaan > seperti di"obat"). > > Humayra hanyalah satu di antara banyak korban "kawin paksa dan pemasungan." > Syariatkah itu? > Tindakan melindungi muslimah dari propaganda Barat, kehidupan budaya > anti syariat, dari pacarnya yang kafir? > > Mana yang lebih beruntung: > dipaksa, dipasung, atau bahkan dibunuh atas nama kehormatan (keluarga, > agama, .....), [sering disebut sebagai honor killing, honor crime], > atau dibiarkan atas nama HAM (dan propaganda Barat?) seperti Humayra? > > http://www.altmuslim.com/a/a/a/2897/ > > Forced marriage > The parent trap and honour crime > After a five-month ordeal in her home country of Bangladesh, > 32-year-old doctor Humayra Abedin confirmed a forced marriage at the > hands of her parents. But what does the incident reveal about > Bangladeshi attitudes on domestic violence towards women? > By Hana Shams Ahmed, December 22, 2008 > > Humayra's free. Will others be? > > Humayra Abedin, the only child of Mohammed Joynal Abedin, a retired > businessman, and his wife, a housewife, was trained as a doctor in > Bangladesh. She went to England in 2002 to attend Leeds University, > eventually moving to East London and working in hospitals across the > capital as she studied to become a doctor. According to UK press > reports, when her family found out that she had developed a close > friendship with a Hindu Bangladeshi man in London, they were furious > and since May of this year, they have desperately been trying to force > her into a marriage with a Muslim man. > > In August her mother sent news to Humayra that she was seriously ill > and that she should immediately come to visit. When Humayra returned > to Dhaka on August 5th for a two-day stay, she was manhandled into the > property by a number of people and locked up. Her parents hid her > passport and plane ticket and held her captive. On about the 10th or > 11th of August 2008, her first cousin Masud Rana, who is the son of > her paternal uncle, gave her some tablets and told her that she must > take them. She refused to take them but was forced to do so. They were > possibly sleeping pills. She was also forcibly taken to a psychiatric > hospital and injected with what she believed were mood stabilisers and > anti-psychotic drugs. She was given these drugs every day and told > that she would not be discharged until she confirmed that she would > not be returning to the UK, that she would be resigning from her > employment in the UK and that she would disassociate herself from > everybody she knew in the UK. > > Her only ally was her cousin Dr. Shipra Chaudhury, who got in touch > with lawyers at local human rights NGO Ain o Shalish Kendro (ASK). > Other family members were hostile towards her, had no sympathy for her > situation, or were afraid to break family silences. Although ASK staff > and police, alerted to this situation, were able to meet her for a few > moments in August 2008, they were obstructed by her parents from > speaking to her in private. After that brief meeting, none of them > were able to get back in touch with her. > > The High Court of Bangladesh, on October 27th, directed the parents > and uncle to appear and produce Humayra in person, after ASK and > Humayra's cousin filed a habeas corpus petition that she was being > confined against her will. The parents and uncle repeatedly failed to > comply and after the Court ordered the top police official to ensure > Humayra's recovery, lawyers for the parents finally appeared before > the Court. But the parents continued to refuse to comply with the > Court's orders keeping Humayra from appearing before the Court. The > parents claimed through their lawyers that Humayra, though an adult, > should be in her parents' custody - first on the ground that she was > 'unmarried' and, later, because she was 'mentally ill'. > > The parents refusal to comply with the order to produce Humayra before > the Court continued throughout November. The Court issued a suo motu > contempt notice on the parents and her uncle and directed them to > appear in person on December 3rd. The parents and uncle came to court > again without Humayra. At one point, Humayra was able to send an email > to a close friend in the UK where she expressed deep depression and, > under the circumstances, there were underlying indications that she > was either contemplating suicide or that she would be killed. An > excerpt from the email read - "I wish I could see you once in my > lifetime. This is the only wish I have. Most important thing is please > try to forgive me if you can. I AM SORRY. Please don't hate me. My > life is already ruined. I don't care any more. I just want to end my > life as nothing left to live and look forward to. You are one of the > best person. I will always remember you. I wanted to grow old with > you. It will never happen now" > > At this point, a British court directed the parents and uncle to > disclose Humayra's whereabouts, not to harass her and force her into a > marriage and hand her over to ASK or the British High Commission in > Bangladesh. On December 14th, Humayra was finally produced before the > court in Dhaka. She expressed that her movement was severely > restricted since August. She voiced her desire to pursue her education > in England. The High Court ordered the Police Commissioner and Court > officers to escort Humayra to the British High Commission to arrange > her safe travel to London and also directed journalists not to try to > speak to her. She refused to speak to the press about the nature of > entrapment at her parents' home but after arriving safely in London > she confirmed that on November 14th, she entered into a marriage > ceremony against her will and under duress. > > Humayra is just one of many Bangladeshis who are forced into marriages > against their will every year. The phenomenon occurs not just in > Bangladesh, but throughout South Asian and some African diaspora > communities in the UK and USA. According to the Independent, in the > first nine months of this year, the UK Government's Forced Marriage > Unit was contacted by 1,308 concerned callers fearing they or someone > close to them might be forced into marriage. The unit directly helped > 388 of these victims - nearly twice as many as in 2007. The new Forced > Marriage (Civil Protection) Act 2007, which came into force in > November 2008 because of the high number of reported cases, offers > protection to all residents of the UK. > > Forced marriages are different from arranged marriages in that in an > arranged marriage, the family will take the lead in arranging the > match but couples have the choice as to whether or not to proceed. > With forced marriages, there is no choice. As such, it is a form of > domestic violence and an abuse of human rights. There is usually much > emotional and physical violence and manipulation involved, where a > person is sometimes forced to agree to the marriage in fear of his/her > life. According to an article by Abedin's lawyer in Bangladesh, Sara > Hossain, and Suzanne Turner, at least 1000 women are abducted every > year from the UK by their families and taken to a foreign country in > order to be forced into marriage. According to the UK government's > Forced Marriage Unit 85 percent of victims of forced marriages are > women and girls and 44 percent of the overseas cases dealt with by the > government's Forced Marriage Unit involved minors. > > The particular case of Humayra Abedin portrays why forced marriages > have increased so much in recent years. For many South Asian parents, > there is a xenophobic and communal fear of their children choosing > partners outside their nationality and religion. In a bid to marry > their children off within the same community, parents try to 'arrange' > their marriages. Parents also try to marry their children off early, > thinking it is easier to coerce and manipulate children until a > certain age. > > It is important to note that forced marriage violates the fundamental > rights guaranteed by the Constitution of Bangladesh. Humayra was > fortunate because her case got coverage in the British media and the > UK government got involved. But there are many more women and girls > who are forced into marriages in Bangladesh that no one ever hears > about. In Humayra's case, there was little interest in from the local > media until the foreign media got involved. > > While the press all over Bangladesh have always worked as mouthpieces > for political parties, trailing every public move of politicians, the > interest in Humayra's case has been slow. Even many progressive > bloggers were sceptical about the nature of the case. Some quoted from > Humayra's father's shock at the court verdict and his claim that they > had 'done nothing wrong'. One blogger even went on to quote "it is > thought Dr Abedin's relationship with a Hindu Bangladeshi software > engineer prompted her Muslim parents to intervene" - was it an attempt > to somehow prove legitimate justification for such brutal violence by > the parents? Some were downright vindictive - "Who knows what she has > been up to? It's shameful to go to court against her parents who made > her what she is today and act in such a disgraceful manner by fighting > them in public. It's shameful to see what greed for the Western way of > life can change someone so drastically. Maybe she will be happily > divorced and lead her cheerful life as and when she decides to." > > This surprising prejudice was not limited to Bangladesh. A British > commentator, Mary Dejevsky, wrote for the UK's Independent questioning > the necessity of the UK Court's intervention, saying that "this case > is less about forced marriage than personal fulfilment." She goes on > to say, "Britain and other former colonial countries have to be > particularly careful how they use their power vis-à-vis former > colonies, where a sense of post-imperial grievance is never far below > the surface. But they need to be doubly careful when, as in this case, > the individual concerned is not a citizen. You can argue forever about > the universality of human rights and individual freedoms, but there > are difficult questions about the obligations of a state if any > towards those who reside there as citizens of another country." > Dejevsky seems to be effectively saying that these human rights are a > luxury for UK nationals only. A person resident in the UK, serving > British nationals through their National Health Service, somehow did > not deserve the same demands for ensuring her protection. Anila Baig > of the Sun seemed to be more spot on in her analysis, that this was a > case of forced marriage and a gross violation of a person's basic > right to life of dignity and liberty. > > The marriage scenario in Bangladesh is far from black and white. In > reality, although 'consent' of both a man and a woman is a must for a > legal marriage to take place, in many cases a thin line exists between > 'social pressure', 'coercion' and 'consent'. Consent, particularly by > a woman, can be coerced via emotional blackmail or under fear or > emotional pressure. Also consent can only be given by the individuals > if they have reached a certain age. While people can give the excuse > of 'religion' or 'culture', the truth is that nothing supports parents > forcing children to marry someone against their will. If the press and > bloggers do not start paying more attention to these cases, then there > will be many more Humayras. What is needed ultimately are proactive > efforts to change regressive attitudes among Asian communities - both > living in Asia and in Europe. The rationale of cultural relativism, or > sensitivity to 'Western intervention' cannot be used to justify a > continuation of these human rights abuses. > > Hana Shams Ahmed is a feature writer for The Daily Star, Bangladesh. > Selected works can be found at http://hanashams.wordpress.com. > > 2009/1/4 Flora Pamungkas GMail > <florapamung...@gmail.com<florapamungkas%40gmail.com> > >: > > Perjodohan Anak dan Perang Pemikiran > > > > > > > > > > > > Kolom Benteng Terakhir > > > > oleh Siti Aisyah Nurmi > > > > > > > > Senin, 22/12/2008 07:44 WIB > > > > > > > > > > > > Perang Pemikiran (ghazwul fikry) amat gencar dilakukan para musuh Islam > > dalam bidang pendidikan anak yang termasuk dalam bidang pembahasan > keluarga. > > Apalagi jika dalam budaya setempat ternyata ada celah-celah jahiliyah > yang > > memang masih tersisa dari budaya lama, maka itulah sasaran empuk untuk > > memerangi syari'at Islam secara keseluruhan. > > > > > > > > Belum lama ini ada berita, seorang wanita muda keturunan Bangladesh > > "berhasil" dibebaskan dari "tahanan" orangtuanya di Bangladesh dan kini > > kembali ke Inggris, negeri yang ia (wanita tersebut) menyebutnya sebagai > > "home". > > > > > > > > Humayra Abedin, seorang dokter yang sedang belajar di Inggris, ditahan > > orangtuanya di rumah dan rumahsakit jiwa karena akan dipaksa menikah di > > Bangladesh. Orangtuanya memanggilnya pulang dari Inggris dengan dalih > ibunya > > sakit keras, padahal maksud sebenarnya adalah tidak setuju dengan > hubungan > > Humayra dengan seorang Hindu. Dan orangtuanya ingin menikahkan sang > dokter > > (dengan paksa) di Bangladesh. > > > > > > > > Tindakan pembebasan ini dimungkinkan oleh sebuah undang-undang Forced > > Marriage Act yang baru saja bulan lalu diberlakukan di Inggris untuk > > mencegah pernikahan paksa bagi penduduk Inggris Raya. Meskipun dokter > > Humayra bukan warga negara Inggris, ternyata Pengadilan Inggris mampu > > mempengaruhi pengadilan Bangladesh untuk memaksa orangtua dokter Humayra > > membawanya ke pengadilan dan kemudian menjemputnya dengan paksa dari > tangan > > kedua orangtuanya di negerinya sendiri untuk dibawa ke Inggris. > > > > > > > > Sungguh hebat makar dunia Barat saat ini atas dunia Islam sampai-sampai > > sebuah negara harus rela menyerahkan warga negaranya dari negerinya > sendiri > > untuk dibawa ke negara Barat dengan alasan "untuk dilindungi". Alangkah > > malangnya Bangladesh yang membiarkan kedaulatannya dilecehkan dan > > mengalahkan kepentingan warga negaranya yang lain (yaitu kedua orangtua > > Humayra) untuk memuaskan syahwat negara Barat, padahal kedua orangtua > > Humayra bermaksud menegakkan syari'at Islam dengan tidak mengizinkan > anaknya > > terus menjalin hubungan dengan boyfriend-nya yang Hindu. > > > > > > ------------------------------------ > > ======================= > Milis Wanita Muslimah > Membangun citra wanita muslimah dalam diri, keluarga, maupun masyarakat. > Situs Web: http://www.wanita-muslimah.com > ARSIP DISKUSI : http://groups.yahoo.com/group/wanita-muslimah/messages > Kirim Posting > mailto:wanita-muslimah@yahoogroups.com<wanita-muslimah%40yahoogroups.com> > Berhenti > mailto:wanita-muslimah-unsubscr...@yahoogroups.com<wanita-muslimah-unsubscribe%40yahoogroups.com> > Milis Keluarga Sejahtera > mailto:keluarga-sejaht...@yahoogroups.com<keluarga-sejahtera%40yahoogroups.com> > Milis Anak Muda Islam > mailto:majelism...@yahoogroups.com<majelismuda%40yahoogroups.com> > > This mailing list has a special spell casted to reject any attachment > ....Yahoo! 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