there is no formula of successful married life and successful marriage.
even I have found that marriage councellors in mahila police stations are
facing difficulties in their married life. there is a big difference between
philosophy and practicle.
-----Original Message-----
From: Preeti Monga
Sent: Tuesday, July 01, 2014 4:04 PM
To: 'AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues
concerningthe disabled.'
Subject: Re: [AI] my quriyocity are normelpeople interested inmarryingblind
partners
Interestingly there is no argument as to weather a blind person must marry
a blind person or a non blind person! The idea is to marry successfully, be
happy and cherish the relationship for good! You are not buying vegitables
or furniture; you therefore need to understand
That every human is different and there are no fixed kind of matches one can
prescribe for marrying one or the other! But, yes, as said by many wise
people, "there is nothing more happy and blissful than a good marriage, and
there can be nothing worse and hellish than a bad marriage,
incompatibility can lead to living life in hell"!
The fact that you can see or not is only a small part of the whole thing!
Preeti
Preeti Monga
Director
Mobile: +91 9871701646
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-----Original Message-----
From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf
Of bhawani shankar verma
Sent: Tuesday, July 01, 2014 3:49 PM
To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issuesconcerning
the disabled.
Subject: Re: [AI] my quriyocity are normelpeople interested in marryingblind
partners
majority of married blind persons have a blind partners, so, we can't say
that blind partner would not be a good choice. regarding education and
science, my elder brother and his wife both are blind and their daughter is
studying biology and further preparing for micro biology. hence, this
purpose also defeated. my experience is if the couple is blind and both are
educated, their children becomes brilliant and more disciplined children
then the sighted parents. very low percentage of blind persons have a blind
partners and having successful married life. majority of blind persons who
are having sighted partner are facing difficulties in their married life.
10-12 emails in accessindia group can not represent the entire blind
cummunity.
-----Original Message-----
From: Amar Jain
Sent: Tuesday, July 01, 2014 1:02 PM
To: accessindia
Subject: Re: [AI] my quriyocity are normelpeople interested in marryingblind
partners
Let me share my thoughts as a growing adult on the issue of sighted vs.
blind.
Choosing a blind partner: Many of us do have these doubts as to
whether a blind partner would be better than a sighted partner or not.
To my mind, the difference is in the fact that having a blind partner
would make things easy to the extent of your understanding of the
issues concerning the blindness. So, in case of a sighted person you
may need to work with them for example to not to change the place of
the things frequently as that may cause a little discomfort in your
daily work. And the disability related issues will need to be
explained to him. Which are not required to be done in case of a blind
partner at that basic level.
But that does not mean that you will have a better compatebility. That
has got nothing to do with disability per se.
It also depends how well you can play your role in that other
partner's life. I have seen many blind people arguing for a sighted
partner just because they think that their challenges of life will be
over. That type of dependence to my mind is not good for a married
life. Remember, he is your companion not a servant or assistant.
Choosing a Sighted: Many sighted do not give a deep thought on the
issues concerning marrying a blind partner of course when that initial
resistance of others is over once they decide that they themselves
have no mental blocks in getting a blind partner. Its only at the
later stage when people realize that its a lifetime battle as regards
the answering the society, or anything else for that matter.
At that stage both need to act sensibally. For example, I would never
like to listen if my wife happens to be sighted at a later stage in
life that she made a mistake by choosing a blind partner. That can
only happen if I continue to play my active role, and I am not over
dependent on her.
The only consequence of having a blind partner which to my mind is
that how can you as a male partner ensure her safety and security. And
I am not saying that all blind females who have blind husbands are
unsafe or unsecured. Its just offering that comfort. And of course
some additional challenges like teaching your kids subjects like
Science where you yourself have the weak background, which may need to
be tackled appropriately.
Now as far as convincing a sighted partner is concerned: First and
foremost, I am of the opinion that do not try everyone and anyone.
Spend proper time, and then understand really is it what you are
looking for? Forget be it blind or sighted.
Second, I quite agree with Rajesh sir and Shadab bhaiya's views of
being yourself and having your other qualities at its best which can
then open a window for detailed and deep discussion. Disability
related challenges need to be discussed not only between the
individuals but also at the family level to avoid complications if
any.
If you have a decent earning prospects and a decent life wherein you
are capable of upbringing your family well, then it is not as big
problem as we see getting a sighted partner also. Again to emphasise,
the only important aspect is to discuss the disability related
challenges at the beginning itself to avoid issues in future.
Nikita diii is just one exceptional example. maintaining yourself as a
girl of that kind despite blindness also is a big thing to happen! But
of course city, education, family and all plays a big role in that
personality with which one comes out as an individual.
Regards,
--
Amar Jain.
Website: www.amarjain.com
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