Great!

Now there is something more I wish to add here. We blind people somehow
imagine that we are very smart  and fashonable and upto date. Now please
don't take me wrong again. We seem to forget that  sighted people can
actually see, and there are so many little things in our body language,
dress, behaviour, style and gestures that can make us  look  odd and  funny
and out of place in the sighted world! Most of us do not even know of this,
and sighted friends, family and other members of the sighted society don't
have the heart or the courage to tell us about what we are doing wrong! I
too am approaching this subject with a little fear in my heart... fear of
again being misunderstood! Pointing out faults of others is not a good thing
anyway, then can you imagine how difficult it is to point out faults of
blind people to them is?  So even some sighted person does want to marry a
blind person, for she/he is in love with her/him, this sighted person just
may not be able to do so because of the fact below:
First of all people are going to point at me for marrying a blind partner.
Then  this blind guy/ girl  has such a strange  habit/manner/way of
dressing/way of eating/way of shaking around etc. It is going to be so
embarrassing having him/her  around!
I know he/she is so wonderful a person, and I love him/her so much, but....
I dont have the heart to correct him/her!
What will my friends say? 
What will my relatives think? He/she looks so funny/strange/odd!

Now do you get my point? Here you cannot look like or behave  like a
pumpkin in a plate of potatoes! You have to at least look close to a potato
to get accepted in a plate of potatoes! Otherwise it is going to be very
difficult to get you through! You can taste like a pumpkin but at least you
have to look like a potato, or at least close to it! I wonder if I have made
my point clear?

There is a lot of introspection we need to do here. Where is the trouble, we
are going on and on talking about the same things and landing no where. I
think we now need to find solutions to the reasons that are coming in our
way of mainstreaming.
Preeti

Preeti Monga
Director
 

 
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-----Original Message-----
From: AccessIndia [mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf
Of Harish Kapoor
Sent: Thursday, July 03, 2014 12:37 PM
To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning
the disabled.
Subject: Re: [AI] . Re: my quriyocity are
normelpeopleintrestedinmarryingblindpartners

Good Preeti  madam. This is not need of society, This is our need to
make a place in society. However, I have also An opportunity to spend
my life with sighted girl, she is TGT teacher in school.

On 7/3/14, Preeti Monga <[email protected]> wrote:
> Interestingly Ishita,  a lot of the things you feel and write about are
> true!  society does not want us around! But, it is about time they begin
to
> think differently! Someone has to make a   beginning to bring about the
> change! So why not us?  We have only 2 choices, either to sit around and
> take what the world wants to give us, or get up and first convince
ourselves
> and then go out there and make place for us!
> Preeti
>
> Preeti Monga
> Director
>
>
>
> Mobile: +91 9871701646
> Landline: 011 22781446
> E-mail: [email protected]
> Website: www.silver-linings.co.in  ;  www.silver-linings.org
> Our Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting. Training
> -Motivation; Stress Management; Soft Skill; Behavioral. Gifting -
Corporate
> ; Promotional;  Events. End to end CSR Advisory; including demystifying
> workshops  and counseling. Printing Solutions,  Incentive Travel and
> Marketing Data Mining / Refining..
>
> We  assure  high quality service marked with excellence and complete
> customer centricity, forming Synergies as we go along.
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: AccessIndia [mailto:[email protected]] On
Behalf
> Of ishita kapoor
> Sent: Thursday, July 03, 2014 10:52 AM
> To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning
> the disabled.
> Subject: Re: [AI] . Re: my quriyocity are
> normelpeopleintrestedinmarryingblindpartners
>
> My father works with reliance industry since 30 years.
> He has  never seen any blind person working in that company.
> And I have observed that blind persons are working with government
> institutes such as banks schools etc, or with NGO
> And few vis are working in corporate sector and earns less then 6000
> So please don't tell that we are getting jobs just because ability.
> We are getting job because reservation.
> I don't want to say that we are not capable to perform jobs. But
> society is not ready to accept us as a working people.
> i have seen highly educated blind boys mareing 7th or 8th pass sighted
> girls sirf sighted life partner ki chah me.
> can i consider them fool?
>
> On 7/3/14, Preeti Monga <[email protected]> wrote:
>> Dear Prashant,
>> Lovely to see you share your views! How true! Thank you for popping up!
>> Please will you consider being with us on 3rd August for the special
>> Fusion
>> meet at IIC? I wish to have you and Veena share some practicle facts
>> there.
>> Trying to get loads of non disabled people there too, to get the
>> socializing
>> factor going!
>> It is wonderful to say that girls are more open and accomodating, but
>> there
>> are some wonderful visually impaired men as well who have done what you
>> have! And I know they are mostly happy because of their atitudes and not
>> because of their disabiity.
>> Warmly
>> Preeti
>>
>> Preeti Monga
>> Director
>>
>>
>>
>> Mobile: +91 9871701646
>> Landline: 011 22781446
>> E-mail: [email protected]
>> Website: www.silver-linings.co.in  ;  www.silver-linings.org
>> Our Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting. Training
>> -Motivation; Stress Management; Soft Skill; Behavioral. Gifting -
>> Corporate
>> ; Promotional;  Events. End to end CSR Advisory; including demystifying
>> workshops  and counseling. Printing Solutions,  Incentive Travel and
>> Marketing Data Mining / Refining..
>>
>> We  assure  high quality service marked with excellence and complete
>> customer centricity, forming Synergies as we go along.
>>
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: AccessIndia [mailto:[email protected]] On
>> Behalf
>> Of Prashant Verma
>> Sent: Wednesday, July 02, 2014 9:22 PM
>> To: accessindia@accessindia. in
>> Subject: Re: [AI] . Re: my quriyocity are
>> normelpeopleintrestedinmarryingblindpartners
>>
>> This discussion has made interesting reading. Knowing that writing
>> anything
>> on this could attract all types of comments, still  I am putting down my
>> views.
>>
>>
>>
>> Few people are stating the current situation while few are talking more
>> about what should be the ideal scenario.
>>
>>
>>
>> The only complaint I have with many visually impaired is that they are
not
>> willing to marry any visually impaired at all.
>>
>> If they consider themselves useful and productive then they should be
>> ready
>> to accept a visually impaired partner. My understanding is that those who
>> have not been able to master their disability due to various factors
>> desire
>> sighted partners. Some of these factors may be beyond their control.
>> Economic status, upbringing, social pressure etc. are few of the factors.
>>
>>
>>
>> I think the possibility of having visually impaired children is one of
the
>> root cause of this desire. It is however not openly accepted. Parents
also
>> want someone sighted who can look after their son/daughter after them.
>>
>>
>>
>> What matters is compatibility and understanding. If we get a non-disabled
>> partner then it may help solve few practical problems  but then a
visually
>> impaired partner also takes care of many other matters.
>>
>>
>>
>> When looking for partners, one should have an open mind. Disability like
>> caste, religion etc should be a secondary consideration.
>>
>>
>>
>> I see so many young talented and well settled visually impaired girls all
>> around here but visually impaired boys even though they are passing the
>> marriageable age are not ready to  accept visually impaird partners.
>> Finally
>> they have to make comprimises. Girls sighted or disabled are generally
>> seen
>> to be more open minded and accommodating.
>>
>>
>>
>> It will indeed be great if visually impaired socialize more in the
>> non-disabled community. It will enhance their personality and at the same
>> time will increase chances of finding partners.
>>
>>
>>
>> I am partially sighted and married to a totally blind woman.
>>
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>>
>> From: AccessIndia [mailto:[email protected]] On
>> Behalf
>> Of ishita kapoor
>>
>> Sent: 02 July 2014 14:10
>>
>> To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues
concerning
>> the disabled.
>>
>> Subject: Re: [AI] . Re: my quriyocity are
>> normelpeopleintrestedinmarryingblindpartners
>>
>>
>>
>> I have found the argument of bhavani sir more realistic.
>>
>> Preety madam, if your aim is just to motivate us then your points are
>> valid.
>>
>> I have 40 percent vision.
>>
>> And if I lose it no sighted person will even think to marry me even in
>> dream
>> unless he has social or economical problems.
>>
>> In that case a guy will marry me if he won't get proper match rather any
>> girl in able bodied world, Or if I can offer him lots of money if he is
>> poor
>> Or I have nice job and he has no earning capacity.
>>
>> Otherwise no sighted person will marry me just for the sake of charity.
>>
>> And I don't have any bitter feeling for this belief.
>>
>> Because everyone has right to choose a life partner who is equal in all
>> aspects I can't marry with the guy who doesn't have both arms and both
>> legs.
>>
>> The same way I shouldn't expect such charity from any able bodied man.
>>
>> And yes I won't get promotion if I ask my boss to touch his clothes by
>>
>> saying: sir log kafi tariff kar rahe hai chalo mai bhi chhoo ke dekhu to
>> tariff kar saku.
>>
>> I don't have much experience but still I would like to advice all
>> youngsters
>> that please don't do this.
>>
>> Don't ask anyone that: sir ya madam mai apke kapde dekhna chahta hun ya
>> chahti hun.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> On 7/2/14, Preeti Monga <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>>> You are very right!
>>
>>> Preeti
>>
>>>
>>
>>> Preeti Monga
>>
>>> Director
>>
>>>
>>
>>>
>>
>>>
>>
>>> Mobile: +91 9871701646
>>
>>> Landline: 011 22781446
>>
>>> E-mail: [email protected]
>>
>>> Website: www.silver-linings.co.in  ;  www.silver-linings.org Our
>>
>>> Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting. Training
>>
>>> -Motivation; Stress Management; Soft Skill; Behavioral. Gifting -
>>
>>> Corporate ; Promotional;  Events. End to end CSR Advisory; including
>>
>>> demystifying workshops  and counseling. Printing Solutions,  Incentive
>>
>>> Travel and Marketing Data Mining / Refining..
>>
>>>
>>
>>> We  assure  high quality service marked with excellence and complete
>>
>>> customer centricity, forming Synergies as we go along.
>>
>>>
>>
>>>
>>
>>>
>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>
>>> From: AccessIndia [mailto:[email protected]] On
>>
>>> Behalf Of Zoher Kheriwala
>>
>>> Sent: Wednesday, July 02, 2014 11:44 AM
>>
>>> To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues
>>
>>> concerning the disabled.
>>
>>> Subject: Re: [AI] . Re: my quriyocity are
>>
>>> normelpeopleintrestedinmarryingblindpartners
>>
>>>
>>
>>> In the world we cannot expect every sighted person to get married to a
>>
>>> blind person, even we cannot expect every blind person to get married
>>
>>> to a blind person. Some of us might have rejected the proposal of
>>
>>> sighted person not because of he or she is sighted but many reasons
>>
>>> other vice. Or if we are rejected by sighted person, it might not be
>>
>>> related to our blindness.
>>
>>> Let me have the courage to make the statement, Many of we blind people
>>
>>> have the habit to relate our rejection (not only in marriages but also
>>
>>> in jobs and other sectors) to our blindness, but I am sure that if we
>>
>>> are appealing to the required party then our blindness should not be
>>
>>> of great concern. Yes having some doubt about our work efficiency is
>>
>>> quite natural in the case of sighted partner, this may not be the case
>>
>>> if we are engaged with blind partner. This is the time when we have to
>>
>>> show our ability (not only through talking but also through working).
>>
>>> Marrying to a sighted person or vice versa cannot guaranty of
>>
>>> successful married life. It has very little to do with our blindness.
>>
>>> I have married to a blind girl, We have not accepted each other
>>
>>> because we are blind, blindness is just is a coincidence. Let me put
>>
>>> in other words, My life partner happends to be  a person with
>>
>>> blindness.
>>
>>> When we are in a hunt of life partner, we cannot over estimate the
>>
>>> ability of sighted person and we should not under estimate the ability
>>
>>> of blind partner.
>>
>>>
>>
>>>
>>
>>> On 7/2/14, Shadab Husain <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>>>> Hey Bhawani bhai, nice quotes! The key point is that there has to be
>>
>>>> some "self-interest" for both the parties otherwise the friendship
>>
>>>> will end. A person with financial poverty and emotional richness can
>>
>>>> provide emotional support to the emotionally poor but financially
>>
>>>> rich one and thus can be equal in status. Can we apply it on a blind
>>
>>>> marrying a sighted? Disagree with it, but I won't - especially after
>>
>>>> seeing so many examples on Access India.
>>
>>>>
>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>
>>>> From: AccessIndia [mailto:[email protected]] On
>>
>>> Behalf
>>
>>>> Of bhawani shankar verma
>>
>>>> Sent: 02 July 2014 07:13
>>
>>>> To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and
>>
>>>> issuesconcerning the disabled.
>>
>>>> Subject: Re: [AI] . Re: my quriyocity are
>>
>>>> normelpeopleintrestedinmarryingblindpartners
>>
>>>>
>>
>>>> "Never make friends with people who are above or below you in status.
>>
>>>> Such
>>
>>>> friendships will never give you any happiness."
>>
>>>>    - Chanakya
>>
>>>>
>>
>>>> "There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no
>>
>>>> friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth."
>>
>>>>    - Chanakya
>>
>>>>
>>
>>>> both quotations should also be applied regarding partnership.
>>
>>>> marriage is
>>
>>> a
>>
>>>> social partnership between to parties where they have joined each
>>
>>>> other to satisfy their physical and emotional desires.
>>
>>>>
>>
>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>
>>>> From: "aditi shah" <[email protected]>
>>
>>>> To: "accessindia" <[email protected]>
>>
>>>> Sent: Tuesday, July 01, 2014 6:24 PM
>>
>>>> Subject: [AI] . Re: my quriyocity are
>>
>>>> normelpeopleintrestedinmarryingblindpartners
>>
>>>>
>>
>>>>
>>
>>>>> Hi there everyone,
>>
>>>>> Have been reading this discussion since a few days, so felt like
>>
>>>>> expressing my views as well.
>>
>>>>>
>>
>>>>> We are all humans blind or not, and we have our own set of skills.
>>
>>>>> There might be areas we are extremely good at or there might be
>>
>>>>> areas we cannot do much, in case of us blind it may be because of
>>
>>>>> our disability whereas incase of sighted it might be due to other
>> reasons.
>>
>>>>> According to me, a happy married life demands a set of some basic
>>
>>>>> skills, like understanding, cooking, up bringing of kids, earning,
>>
>>>>> socializing, etc.
>>
>>>>> Again, these basic requirements differ depending on what kind of a
>>
>>>>> lifestyle one has.
>>
>>>>> So, in my view, it does not really matter whether we are marrying a
>>
>>>>> sighted or a blind, what matters is whether our's and our partner's
>>
>>>>> skills can meet those basic requirements or not.
>>
>>>>> Considering this, I disagree from the belief that if a blind has to
>>
>>>>> marry a sighted, he has to make compromises like marrying someone
>>
>>>>> economically or intellectually weaker than us.
>>
>>>>> If a blind who is earning well or is from a well-to-do family or may
>>
>>>>> be is extremely qualified marries a sighted from a weaker economic
>>
>>>>> background or qualification, it is not a compromise as far as both
>>
>>>>> partners together possess the required skills.
>>
>>>>> Even if a blind is marrying a blind, and both of them can manage to
>>
>>>>> do the required things, may be in ways different than the normal
>>
>>>>> world, they can indeed have a successful married life.
>>
>>>>>
>>
>>>>> So, it is not about being blind or sighted, it is always about
>>
>>>>> finding that someone such that with understanding, you can both
>>
>>>>> match up for each other's shortcomings.
>>
>>>>> Life partners are like two pieces of a puzzle, one has to find the
>>
>>>>> other half that fits perfectly, lest we got to spend our entire life
>>
>>>>> filling the gaps.
>>
>>>>>
>>
>>>>> Regards,
>>
>>>>> aditi
>>
>>>>>
>>
>>>>>
>>
>>>>>
>>
>>>>> Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing
>>
>>>>> accessibility of mobile phones / Tabs on:
>>
>>>>> http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_a
>>
>>>>> cc
>>
>>>>> essindia.org.in
>>
>>>>>
>>
>>>>>
>>
>>>>> Search for old postings at:
>>
>>>>> http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/
>>
>>>>>
>>
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>>
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>>
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>>
>>>>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other
>>
>>>>> changes, please visit the list home page at
>>
>>>>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.o
>>
>>>>> rg
>>
>>>>> .in
>>
>>>>>
>>
>>>>>
>>
>>>>> Disclaimer:
>>
>>>>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the
>>
>>>>> thinking of the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates
>>
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>>
>>>>>
>>
>>>>> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the
>>
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>>>>
>>
>>>>
>>
>>>>
>>
>>>>
>>
>>>> Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing
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>>
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>>
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>>>>
>>
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>>>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking
>>
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>>
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>>
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>>
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>>
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>>
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>>
>>>>
>>
>>>
>>
>>>
>>
>>> --
>>
>>> together we can and we will make the differnce Zoher
>>
>>>
>>
>>>
>>
>>>
>>
>>> Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility
>>> of
>>
>>> mobile phones / Tabs on:
>>
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>>
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>>>
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