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> On 19 மே, 2015, at 11:03 PM, avinash shahi <[email protected]> wrote: > > Radha,I've googled your queries and pasting below an article based on > questions and answers on the issue. > http://www.sexualityanddisability.org/reproduction/adopting-a-child.aspx > 'The law speaks about the "welfare of the child" and the > interpretation by the administrators is that the welfare of the child > would not be served if there is a disabled person adopting...I know at > least two recent cases where one of the disabled parents is visually > challenged. They were first discouraged by adoption agencies and then > when force and influence was used, relented.' > > Kanchan Pamnani, Visually Impaired Lawyer and Solicitor, Mumbai > > Question1 Can any woman adopt a child in India? Will my age (I am 41) > or disability be considered negative factors? > > According to the law External Website that opens in a new window, > prospective adoptive parents who have a composite age (your age and > your spouse's age added together) of 90 years or less can adopt > infants or young children. A single parent who is not older than 45 > years is also eligible to adopt infants or young children. In case of > older and special needs children, the upper age limit can be relaxed > based on the merits of the case. In any case, you need to be an adult, > and the age difference between you and your child has to be atleast > twenty one years. > > If your concerns aren't about the law, then there is no 'ideal' age to > become a mother. Maybe in your community it is more common to see > someone with their first baby in their late twenties, and with a > complete family by their mid-thirties. However, it doesn't mean > anything that differs from this norm is incorrect. In fact, the norms > around marriage and children are themselves changing a lot, and what > held true five, ten or fifteen years ago is often no longer the case. > Women are getting married when they think it's the right age, and > having kids only when they are ready - whether it is giving birth to > them or adopting them. > > Similarly, while there is no legal barrier preventing someone with a > disability from adopting, you may still face stigma. Adoption agencies > may try to give you a negative mark stating you won't be able to look > after the child and his or her welfare, but don't get daunted by this. > A disabled woman who is a biological mother takes care of her child, > doesn't she? Some may argue that since you are disabled and need > assistance yourself, how will you raise a baby? Again, nondisabled > mothers often hire help to assist them in looking after their > children. > > Given your disability - and your partner's, if he or she is also > disabled - people may also make cruel remarks about how you are > ruining the child's life by adding unwanted 'burdens' and > 'responsibilities' to his or her life. This is not true! Every mother > is different External Website that opens in a new window in ways that > impact upon a child - some are intelligent, some are argumentative, > some are working professionals with little free time, and others like > you, may be impaired. You may not have the unconditional support of > family, friends and the larger community in the same way that other > couples do. > > Single women, lesbian women, and other women who are seen as not > conforming to the societal ideal of womanhood - including working > women - face similar issues. Even when there is an outward show of > support, the decision is often questioned. 'Do you really think you > can handle this?' 'Are you being fair to the child you will adopt?' > 'What will people think if an unmarried woman has a child?' Society > often frowns upon single women who choose to bring up children, under > the mistaken belief that without a man and a woman, the family unit > cannot be complete. In reality, there are many different types of > families - joint families, single parents, gay parents - and the > happiness of a child does not depend on the family structure alone. > > By choosing to adopt a child, you are giving him or her a loving and > caring mother and family - you as a mother are more than your > impairment, and no one should make you feel otherwise. Many women with > disabilities have successfully adopted and raised children, and so can > you. > > Question2 My disability is genetic. Should I adopt a baby to avoid > giving birth to a disabled child? > > You can adopt a non-disabled child if you want to, but here's a few > things to consider. Even if you have a genetic disability, it is not > necessary that your impairment will be passed on External Website that > opens in a new window to your baby. Genetic disabilities do skip > generations. For example, if you and your husband are visually > impaired, your children may still be sighted. It's a popular myth that > 'disability breeds disability', but that's often not the case. > > Also consider that your adopted child may have her own set of genetic > issues, which may or may not manifest in her lifetime. Or your adopted > child may acquire an impairment later on in life. So if you want to > adopt to ensure you will have a non-disabled child, there is no > guarantee of that. And remember, you have lived your life up to this > point with an impairment - who or what's to say that your child won't > manage fine too? > (Source: 'Eugenics' on Wikipedia External Website that opens in a new window) > > Question3 Can I adopt a child with a disability? If yes, then what > should I think about before taking the decision? > > Here's a few things to consider when adopting a disabled child. There > are varied impairments External Website that opens in a new window and > each has its own challenges. So it is important to think carefully > about the type of child you can best parent, and to be honest with > yourself in making this decision. For example, you may be comfortable > with a physically impaired child, but be unsure about adopting a child > with a mental disability. If you are considering adopting a child who > will have special needs, it is vital to get as much information on the > nature and limitations of the impairment. Spending time with parents > who have children with similar impairments can immensely help. Try to > realistically assess what you can handle - emotionally, physically, > financially and in every other way. > > If you are considering adopting a disabled child, please don't do so > out of charity or pity - a child with an impairment is equally capable > of navigating life and adding joy to your life as any other child, > given a loving and supportive environment. > > And got to know few tips,One of the member here Ka >> On 5/19/15, Radha <[email protected]> wrote: >> Avinash byeia, >> or anyone else, can please shed information on, if a blind married >> couple/ single can adopt a disable child from NGO/ state owned >> organisation? Do we have such privilege? I'm unaware of the real >> fact/ law pertaining to it. When I aspire to adopt a child when I >> was without disability, I was denied on the grounds that I was at my >> early 20's( exactly my age was 21 during ) and single. >> It may sound silly for asking such question, but I feel that it is >> the right platform to go with.... >> 1. Can a single disable woman can adopt any disable child? >> 2. Can a married blind(total) couple can adopt any child with or >> without disability? >> In both cases, adoption should be made from any orphanage and not from >> blood or any other relatives' kid. >> >> One more thing, if abled peers think that it is tough to take care of >> a child, there are many old age houses too, Can we adopt any? >> >> Do we have supporting law for us? >> >> In either cases, it should not be like receiving benefit from them. I >> meant to say, we should not be pointed that we adopt them for >> receiving benefit from their side at any stage. >> " you adopt me, since you want your daily chores to be fulfilled >> with my help" >> >> aforesaid, line will be applicable for any relationship when we have >> our love for them and in return, hear these words... >> Many are blessed with understanding / mutual love and cared >> relationship .... we really urge for it. >> Please enlighten with prevailing law that would support our desire to >> adopt . >> >>> On 5/19/15, avinash shahi <[email protected]> wrote: >>> Though very few members have so far aired their views I could infer >>> those who are not blind by birth have very different standpoints from >>> those who are blind by birth on the issue. Experiential and >>> circumstantial accounts are more powerful than anything else. What I >>> think of the article is that these lesbians didn't adopd an already >>> born deaf child/children but they managed to get through surrogacy. >>> that decision to impose one's own decision on unborn child is >>> debatable and problematic. Author further rightly goes on to discuss >>> the value of free-will choice which we all yearn for. >>> >>> Further this article stimulated me to think about those who are blind, >>> abandoned just their post-birth and languishing in uncaring >>> institutions. There must be thousands of abandoned blind children >>> craving for love and care in state-owned or NGO-runned shelter hhomes. >>> Ideally, privileged and settled blind people should give a thought of >>> adopting those who have no one to fall upon. But these days very few >>> people carry such jestures. Perhaps they are so pained and troubled by >>> their disability that such thought doesn't germinate in their minds. >>> Hopefully, with growing prosperity and increased social standing, some >>> of us will adopt abandoned disabled kids and raise them with the best >>> resources we will have. >>> >>> >>> >>> >>>> On 5/18/15, avinash shahi <[email protected]> wrote: >>>> In the long argument over designer babies, did anyone imagine that >>>> parents might prefer a designer disability? While we were all worrying >>>> about the bionic offspring of the super-rich, two deaf lesbians in >>>> America were going round sperm banks, trying to make a deaf baby. >>>> http://www.theguardian.com/world/2002/apr/09/gender.uk1 >>>> >>>> >>>> It sounds like the start of a bad joke, except that they have now >>>> managed it twice, thanks to a friend with five generations of deafness >>>> in his family. They claim that they are especially well equipped to >>>> look after a deaf child, which I am sure is true, and had they adopted >>>> one such child, or 20, we would all be praising their goodness. >>>> >>>> The difference, of course, is that no child should be forced inside >>>> its parents' psychosis - whether they be from a hardline religious >>>> sect or Deaf Lesbians. The truth is that all of us have to contend >>>> with our parents, for good or ill, but at least we can't be committed >>>> at birth to spending the rest of our lives as circus performers or >>>> bank clerks, or missionaries. We have free will, and the great thing >>>> about growing up is personal choice. >>>> >>>> What choice is there if your parents have already decided that you are >>>> going to be deaf, and that deafness will be your defining identity, >>>> just as it has been theirs? This is not the beauty of compatibility, >>>> it is genetic imperialism. >>>> >>>> Deaf people, they say, have heightened senses, and a relationship to >>>> the world not shared by the hearing population. Fine, I have no >>>> trouble with that. But identity is going to be a big issue for the >>>> kids of the Deaf Lesbians, because both women belong to a radical >>>> group that defines deafness like blackness - not as a disability but >>>> as cultural difference. >>>> >>>> My closest friend is black. She married a white man and their eldest >>>> child looks like an English rose - pale skin, blond hair, blue eyes. >>>> Nature does this kind of thing, and it is a celebration of difference >>>> and sameness all mixed up together. Nobody knows what kind of baby any >>>> two people will produce - and surely this is a blessing, not a bore? >>>> Must we control everything? If the answer is yes, we are paranoid. If >>>> either of the Deaf Lesbians in the US had been in a relationship with >>>> a man, deaf or hearing, and if they had decided to have a baby, there >>>> is absolutely no certainty that the baby would have been deaf. You >>>> take a chance with love; you take a chance with nature, but it is >>>> those chances and the unexpected possibilities they bring, that give >>>> life its beauty. >>>> >>>> I am always on the side of risk, and always suspicious of control. The >>>> more controls we have, the less free we become. Parents usually try to >>>> control their children, and later their children hate them for it, >>>> while busily repeating the damage themselves. >>>> >>>> How would either of the lesbians have felt if their own parents had >>>> said that heterosexuality was such a beautiful thing that they had to >>>> screen out any potential gay gene in their children, just to make sure >>>> they had a good life? >>>> >>>> How would any of us feel if the women had both been blind and claimed >>>> the right to a blind baby? Even if we transform the language of >>>> disability into a dialectic of alternative functioning, should the >>>> medical system support parents who want their child to suffer a >>>> serious handicap? >>>> >>>> We can make our world as friendly as possible for people with >>>> different physical capacities, but we cannot change the simple fact >>>> that it is better to have five senses than four, however enhanced the >>>> loss of one allows the others to be. >>>> >>>> I believe that hearing, like sight, is a blessing, and if we are >>>> prepared to use technology to breed children we have deliberately >>>> disabled, it is not only the language of disability that will have to >>>> be radically reworked, but our entire moral perspective. >>>> >>>> What this case suggests is that we can do what we like to our >>>> children, even if the consequences of our actions are irreversible. >>>> >>>> As lesbians, the two women should know something about choice and >>>> personal freedom. They both practise as mental health specialists, so >>>> I hope they have a colleague who will be able to talk it through with >>>> two kids who turn up in 20 years, explaining that their mothers >>>> decided that they had to be deaf. >>>> >>>> -- >>>> Avinash Shahi >>>> Doctoral student at Centre for Law and Governance JNU >>> >>> >>> -- >>> Avinash Shahi >>> Doctoral student at Centre for Law and Governance JNU >>> >>> >>> >>> Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility >>> of >>> mobile phones / Tabs on: >>> http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>> >>> >>> Search for old postings at: >>> http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ >>> >>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>> [email protected] >>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>> >>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >>> please >>> visit the list home page at >>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>> >>> >>> Disclaimer: >>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of >>> the >>> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; >>> >>> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the >>> mails >>> sent through this mailing list.. >> >> >> -- >> Cheers, >> Radha >> "Everything you want in your life is waiting for you an inch outside >> your comfort zone, and an inch inside your effort." >> >> >> >> Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility of >> mobile phones / Tabs on: >> http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in >> >> >> Search for old postings at: >> http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ >> >> To unsubscribe send a message to >> [email protected] >> with the subject unsubscribe. >> >> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please >> visit the list home page at >> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >> >> >> Disclaimer: >> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the >> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; >> >> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails >> sent through this mailing list.. > > > -- > Avinash Shahi > Doctoral student at Centre for Law and Governance JNU > > > > Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility of > mobile phones / Tabs on: > http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > > Search for old postings at: > http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ > > To unsubscribe send a message to > [email protected] > with the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please > visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > > Disclaimer: > 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the > person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; > > 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails > sent through this mailing list.. Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility of mobile phones / Tabs on: http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ To unsubscribe send a message to [email protected] with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in Disclaimer: 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails sent through this mailing list..
