On Jan 20, 2009, at 4:48 PM, [email protected] wrote:
[Me] Do we need to feel a certain way in order to act [= decide] a
certain way, or do we act a certain
way in order to feel a certain way.
[Kate] I thought you did what you ought to and felt about it later.
Ought to is reached by reason. If you did what you felt half the
time whatever wouldn't get done. There are of course exceptions to
the rule.
I've observed in my 20 years of experience in a university that, when
working together, women typically establish how they feel about each
other individually and as a group, and then proceed to do whatever the
work of the group is. They feel good in order to do good work. "I
really liked her and we were able to work together and accomplish a
great thing."
Men, on the other hand, establish how they will work together and then
do the job, and afterwards feel good about each other. They do good
work in order to feel good. "Man, X did a good job with us on that
project, and I really like that guy."
I know this is a generality, but I've found it to accurately describe
what I've observed. In both scenarios, the participants (1) do work
and (2) feel some way about each other.
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Michael Brady
[email protected]
