[AFMUG] OT There is no hell

[Chuck McCown via Af]

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter 
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell 
breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, 
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year 
that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into 
account the fact that I slept with her the next night, then number two must 
be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen 
over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it 
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore 
extinct.......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine 
being which explains why Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

(an oldie but goodie, I wish I could take credit)