"I am the KING to my own UNIVERSE that rule my MIND, BODY and SOUL !!!"
-----Original Message----- From: Bambi Tummons <[email protected]> Sender: [email protected] Date: Sun, 6 Feb 2011 16:46:26 Reply-To: [email protected] Subject: MisfitsCafe.com - Funnies Warning Label Humor In case you needed further proof that the Human Race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer products: 1. On a blanket from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO. 2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU. 3. On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE. 4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavored milk drink - AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT. 5. On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS. 6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer - To avoid condensation from forming, allow the BOXES to warm up to room temperature BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instructions were INSIDE the box.) 7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids - LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET. 8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles - OPEN OTHER END. . On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL? 10. On a Sears hairdryer - DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING. 11. On a bag of Fritos - YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. (The shoplifter special!) 12. On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. (And that would be how?) 13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) - DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. (Too late! You lose!) 14. On Marks Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING. 15. On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. (Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?) 16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY. (As opposed to use in outer space?) 17. On a Japanese food processor - NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE. (Now I'm curious.) 18. On Sainsbury's peanuts - WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS. (Really? Peanuts contain nuts?) 19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS. (I'm glad they cleared that up.) 20. On a Swedish Chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. (What kind of consumer phone-call led To this warning?) 21. On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY. (That's right, destroy a universal Childhood fantasy!) 22. On some frozen dinners: SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST. 23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: FITS ONE HEAD. (Aw shucks! I was looking forward to sharing it with my significant other!). 24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY. 25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine: DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY. 26. On nightly sleep aid: WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. (Duh!) Sayings "A short pencil is better than a long memory." - Anonymous "An ounce of luck is better than a pound of wisdom." - Anonymous "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." - Benjamin Franklin "Better a little caution than a big regret." - Clason [image: Clean joke about nails.] Jokes or Me My wife just gave me an ultimatum, it's either her or the Internet. So sadly, this will be my last joke. ... In which I talk about having a wife. <http://www.arcamax.com/jokes/comments?si=830399> -- http://misfitscafe.com/Bambi/ http://bambislilworld.blogspot.com/ Silence can be Golden, OR Dangerous... The same Is true with Lies and Deception.... Sorry For Any Repeats all shares snagged -- you have this email because you join to "aga-madjid" GoogleGroups. to post emails, just send to : [email protected] to join this group, send blank email to : [email protected] to quit from this group, just send email to : [email protected] please visit to www.facebook.com/aga.madjid, add my Yahoo Messenger at [email protected] or add my twitter @aga_madjid thanks for joinning this group.
