Ian Darwin wrote:
A newer PDF is up at http://www.darwinsys.com/tmp/fanfold.pdf
It has a lot of new text, which could stand careful reading.
I am running out of room for the "whiteboard" idea, so I'd also
appreciate
sober advice on whether the whiteboard should go or if some chunk of
the text should go.
TIA if you have time to look at it!
Suggestions:
* Open out the text throughout. Make separate paragraphs in the
first column. Give all paragraphs & title some whitespace before
and after, people scan brochures, so you want to let them find the
first sentence of each paragraph easily.
o For the first column, breaks would be ...or your home./ ...
experiences./ ... cost effective./
* Possibly use fill-justification throughout to avoid the
raw-feeling right-hand columns (when folded there's no line to the
right to play with the whitespace).
* Elimination of the background is good, dramatically improves
readability.
* You need to use a PNG or similar transparency-containing image for
the router graphic.
* Add a title to the second column of the first page (e.g. "Hobbyist
and Professional")
o Move the "Whether you are a Telecoms engineer...cost
effective." paragraph to the second column of the first page.
* Put more of a border on the columns (otherwise you need very
precise printing and it looks crowded when printed)
* "A New Business Model" -- I'd suggest new text here more along the
"manager friendly" line. At the very least the first sentence is
constructed poorly (it asks if there is a business model then
claims that it's so different it would be difficult to mistake it
for the current one)
o Asterisk is developed using the Open Source software
development method. Originally created by Digium, a maker
of line termination cards, Asterisk is not restricted to use
with Digium hardware, though its popularity has certainly
promoted the sale of Digium boards. Because the source code
for Asterisk is available, anyone can add support for their
hardware or software, fix bugs that impact their business,
or add features that they need.
o "Open Source Marketplace"
o For those who don't want to "get under the hood" the
openness in the Open Source community means that their are
large numbers of vendors competing to support you. Many of
the TAUG members in Toronto offer local commercial
deployment, support and development services. As you might
imagine, Digium also offers commercial support packages to
give you access to their core expertise.
* AUG Listing:
o You can drop the "that's us" after our URL
o Formatting of the Atlanta AUG is in bold, shouldn't be.
o I'd suggest compressing the list to let you open up the
section. Maybe show the URLs for the Canadian groups (or
maybe just TAUG), then the cities of the others with a
single link to something like http://taug.ca/augs . The
section looks too crowded and is breaking so many URLs that
it's not really working visually. Something like:
+ Looking for an Asterisk User's Group (AUG) in your
area? There are AUG's in Toronto (http://taug.ca),
Montreal, Winnipeg, Atlanta, New York, Sacramento, San
Diego, Utah, and New Zealand. For pointers, see
http://taug.ca/augs
* "Your TAUG Network Planning Page" could be replaced with "Open
Source Asterisk" I think. Seems closer to the topic of the column.
HTH,
Mike
--
________________________________________________
Mike C. Fletcher
Designer, VR Plumber, Coder
http://www.vrplumber.com
http://blog.vrplumber.com
