Re: An apology
Mason,
I am not a big fan of how you've handled yourself lately, but actions are going to speak louder than words. An apology is a start, but it's not an end.
It's clear that you may be a competent coder/game designer, but a PR person you are not. Not yet. It's totally okay that you're not, but the best and very first thing you should be doing here is letting other people - people with proven track records, I mean - help you in this regard. Don't just promote friends or people who yell loudly. Give responsibility to those who prove they can wield it properly. You, unfortunately, don't appear to be one of those people right now. And recognizing that is the first step toward fixing it.
You have burned your bridges with some people, and all you'll be able to do there is just move on. Because part of this process, I think, is in cutting away the dross, getting to what you really want. Does this make you happy? I know you care, but does developing really please you, fire something in you that makes you feel good about yourself? Because I have a sneaking suspicion that it doesn't, or at least, it doesn't in the same way it used to. You're showing a lot of the signs. I feel like this hobby has become more burden to you than joy, and that is toxic for your own health, much less the well-being of those around you.
My gentle suggestion: sort yourself out, whatever that means. If it means finding a counsellor to talk to, then have a look at that. If it means taking games down for awhile because you really do want to fix broken things and want to make a better go of it down the road, then do it. If it means reaching out to specific people with whom you were close and for whom an apology might help fix what has been broken, steel your nerves and do so. It is not going to be easy, but as the old saying goes, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
-- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
